Native Tongue: A Post for Literary Agents

"Living in a city of sleepless people
Who all know the limits and won't go too far outside the lines
Cause they're' out of their minds."

"Generally the agents seem to dislike anything too violent or depressing, and stress that writers should "sell a solution, not a problem." This is a comment under a literary agency's information. A few days ago I expressed over Twitter and Facebook how I find it troubling that agents shy away from topics such as suicide, rape, and drugs because these are real issues that happen to real people. We all don't live in a fairytale land where the leading character finds love in the end and the only issue she had to deal with was bullying (not that bullying isn't a serious issue). No one wants to go there. Everyone wants to play it "safe" and not cross the line that will possibly cement them a spot in history. 

Another troubling aspect about the comment above is how do they know if the author is selling a solution or a problem if they're not reading the material? I sent in a query letter along with sample writing at 11:51 am and by 12:12 pm I had my 12th rejection letter in my inbox (by the way, I received #13 a couple of hours later...one more and I'm tied with J.K. Rowling). You would think these literary agents would have learned their lessons by now. If you were to go to www.literaryrejections.com you can see how some of the most iconic writing pieces were rejected and slammed by literary agents and publishers only to leave them kicking themselves on their backsides in the end. Want to know the real problem? They don't know what the people want and they only go by the "standards" they were taught in school. A true visionary and writer can see past "school standards" and know that crossing lines is necessary sometimes. Sadly, all of my rejections have said the same thing: "I'm not enthusiastic about the concept", "I can't grasp the concept", "You deserve an agent who is passionate about your concept".

HOLD UP ONE MINUTE!!!!!!!

So you're basically telling me that my writing skills, plot, setting, OR character development are NOT the reasons you're rejecting me but because I choose to share a personal experience in a fictional manner that touches on issues needed to be spoken about? See, I can write the generic love story and get bashed by "the people" and I can become a basic "writer" like most but I choose to take risks because I believe in building my own voice. I'm not here to write about what you want me to write about, I'm here for MY art and eventually someone will like it (actually NOT ONE reader has been disappointed...and that's what matters most). I refuse to change my topic or story because the world is simple minded and unoriginal. You see, I can be generic...but that's not me! To quote my favorite band, "I got a light that won't go out, been burning since the day I was born! So I cry just a little then I dry my eyes 'cause I'm not a little girl no more!" Basically, basic isn't in my vocabulary and neither is generic or safe. I always liked the wild rides anyway.

"They think we’re crazy ‘cause it sounds like noise to them. Ain’t it strange all the things you hear when you sit and listen?"

But really, imagine all of the things you can hear and learn when you sit and listen? Maybe if these agents gave something a little outside of their comfort zone a chance, they would love it. Or maybe they just don't speak the same language as some of us. I wrote this for myself but I also wrote it for all of the broken ones out there. A Tragic Heart was meant to give others something to relate to. There weren't (and still aren't) many books that talk about self-mutilation, depression, or any mental illness for that matter. Why should I change my story because they can't speak our language? Maybe if they read more stories like it, they can speak emo too (hahaha, but in order for them to read those stories they would have to start accepting them...oh, the irony!). 

We feel like no one understands us, like we're the only ones in the world going through it even though we know logically it's not true. All I can say is that it would have helped a lot if I had more books like A Tragic Heart, Scars, Impulse, and The Perks of Being a Wallflower growing up. Haven't these people heard of Cheryl Rainfield and Ellen Hopkins? They're best-selling authors who saw success through writing about some of the most touchy subjects. The reason why they were so successful: people related. It's simple, really. 

Nicholas Sparks is a great writer but how many of us can honestly say we lived The Notebook or The Last Song? I'm sure more people felt the way Charlie did in The Perks of Being A Wallflower. If everyone accepts the same things how can anyone find room to be different? Rejecting taboo topics is like rejecting life and people's personal struggles. It's like saying "your experience isn't good or interesting enough". It's like saying "your hardships and conquering isn't something worth writing or telling about". It should be common sense that feelings of rejection, loneliness, and unworthiness are things that should be written and spoken about. 

Now, I'm not saying that all literary agents are generic and close minded because there are a few that speak my native tongue, I just have to find them (or maybe they will find me). As Paramore says, "...if you give up, you get what you deserve!"

"How can they say that it’s one way when it’s the opposite? And how can they know the end of the story before I tell it?

A Lullaby For the Suicidal Cats...

"We're the kids who feel like dead ends...And the poets are just kids who didn't make it...and never had it at all..."

 If you bothered to read the back cover text for my upcoming novel "A Tragic Heart" then you are already aware that the novel touches heavily upon the topic of mental illness. Although the concept of self-mutilation and depression are becoming more and more mainstream in our culture, my fear is that it is not recognized enough and never will be. The opinions and stigmas that are held by many people in today's society toward those who suffer from a mental illness isn't so far from the 1950s where many thought it was okay to perform a lobotomy on anyone deemed as "crazy" or "mentally ill." As a society, our actions from a medical standpoint may have improved but our beliefs haven't really changed at all.

Even though recent studies have shown that people who are deemed as mentally ill tend to have some form of creative gift present within them, it's still not enough for society to change their viewpoint of those who are affected by the term. I've witnessed too many times, others being called "crazy" or "incompetent" because they were officially diagnosed as being bipolar, schizophrenic, depressed, or suffered from anxiety, OCD, or ADD/ADHD. Having a mental illness doesn't mean that you are incompetent or worth less than anyone else. It just means that you were given something extra that sets you apart from the crowd. Since when was standing out a bad thing?

Society has placed a standard for what is "normal" and what is "crazy" but who is to say that society is always right? I mean, society also deemed homosexuality as a mental illness at one time also, but let's not stray too far away from the topic here...

Over the past few days, after countless conversations about the topic of mental illness, I felt compelled to write about what it really means to be mentally ill and how we should approach those who are pained by a particular illness. What gets me angry is when people can boldly and honestly state that those who "act out" or suffer from a mental illness are only doing so for attention. I believe this is something we humans say when we can't fully understand something (kind of like saying something doesn't exist or can't be good because we can't figure it out). I am here to shout on behalf of all people who must endure the "curse" of a mental illness: THE LAST THING WE WANT IS ATTENTION. WE DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS;IT IS NOT A CHOICE! Contrary to popular belief, of course.

 Now, I would say that happiness is a choice but only to an extent. There are just simply times when it is impossible to smile or to hold back tears that so desperately want to fall. This is what it feels like everyday for someone who is suffering from depression. Keeping calm is not a simple option for the one who has anxiety. Doing what makes "sense" to others isn't a choice for schizos and the often ignored bipolar folks. Saying "just focus" doesn't help the ADD/ADHD or OCD students. How can you focus when there are so many other things to pay attention to? How can you smile when everyday is the new worst day of your life? Do you really think you can stay calm when your heart decides it wants to be speed racer on steroids?  How can you act like everyone else when your mind decides for you that it wants to be free and break all the rules? Now, take your time and answer these questions to yourself...

I remember (and I'm sure you do too) Britney's infamous meltdown during 2006-2008 and how everyone condemned her with their hateful words and opinions. "She's trash!" "Ugh, she's disgusting!" "That girl is crazy!" "It must be drugs!" "She just wants attention because she's not as famous as she used to be!" These were just a few things the world was saying about her but not one person stopped to ask her how she was doing or what she was feeling inside. No one ever stopped to think that maybe she needed guidance or professional help until things got really bad. Even today, her image is forever tainted because she had a mental illness that wasn't being treated. Maybe if the world took half the amount of time they used criticizing her to give her space or send positivity her way, she wouldn't have had to hit rock bottom to rise to the top again. Sadly, we give the same criticism to our friends and family who are a lot like Britney. Instead of helping them, we shake our heads and whisper with others about their behavior.

So, how do we approach those who are clearly not in their right state of mind? Should we yell at them? Bombard them with questions and demand that they get help? Tell them to get their act together or else? Pray for them and then condescendingly tell them that they need a closer relationship with God? From my experience and listening to others, all of the above are unacceptable and should be avoided! We're so quick to give advice especially when we want what's in that person's best interest but as the old saying goes: the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

We may feel like we have the answers for them to get better and we know them best because they are our children, sisters, brothers, parents, or maybe even best friends, but the truth is, no one knows better than they do. No one knows the pain they feel and the confusion that goes on in their minds better than they do. For the most part, they know when they need to be left alone, they know what type of person they want to talk to, they know when they're ready...

Of course there are exceptions and some people may need assistance from others and be placed under a conservatorship for a little while but these people are not forever incompetent. They are not beneath you because they were once held under a psychiatric hold. The measurement of their future success cannot be determined because a doctor said that they are bipolar and you witnessed them take actions that seemed highly irrational in the past. A mental illness does not define a person; it is only a part of who they are. 

The self-mutilator isn't an attention seeker;they are simply frustrated and couldn't find a better way. A cry for help should never be confused or synonymous with attention seeking. The schizophrenic is not crazy, just temporarily confused. The bipolar boy is not a danger to everyone around him...besides I'm sure he buys his girlfriend flowers just because and he's a great creative writer. The kid with ADD/ADHD isn't useless...they turn out to be Adam Levine (lead singer of Maroon 5). The one with anxiety isn't a time bomb waiting to blow...they just haven't had the chance to show the world how great they are so it may make them a bit anxious. 

We've all heard celebrities endorse that "it gets better" and we've all seen the posters that says we're all irreplaceable, but a celebrity endorsement and a poster isn't enough. A textbook and a therapist can't give us all of the answers. We shouldn't only rely on these things as our only sources to gain a better understanding of mental illness. We should stop being ignorant for once and find the answers on our own. Maybe then we can destroy the 1950s mentality and start treating everyone as equals. Maybe then there would be less suicides and self-mutilators. Maybe then we will understand...

Feel free to leave comments and start a discussion...