Silly Agents! Self Harm is for Emos!

"All the writers keep writing what they write
Somewhere another pretty vein just dies
I've got the scars from tomorrow and I wish you could see
That you’re the antidote to everything except for me"

The last time I posted a blog it was about literary agents and their lack of diversity when it comes to accepting manuscripts. If you didn't already know, I published my first novel, A Tragic Heart through Amazon's CreateSpace and now I am seeking representation. Well, I've already been rejected over 20 times even though every reader of A Tragic Heart agrees that the novel is more than worthy of the public's attention. My reason for being rejected so many times is solely based on marketing.

Marketing. Such an ugly word that every writer must learn or either pull the plug on your career.  I've received so many rejection letters via email because agents believe that books that touches upon self-harm and suicide doesn't really have a market. They believe there's no way to promote it. Hahahaha! I'm seriously laughing at them and their uneducated ignorant minds! Have these people never heard of Fall Out Boy or Paramore? Better yet, have they never heard of one of the biggest charity organization that goes by the name To Write Love On Her Arms? The whole freaking organization is a suicide prevention charity! Yet, they say that there's no market!

The topic of self-harm and suicide is an untapped market mostly because everyone is too afraid to go there. No one ever speaks about these issues so it seems like everything's fine. The truth is we all know someone who either self harms or contemplated suicide at one point in their lives. In some cases, that person is us but no one talks about it so the common belief is that majority of us are okay. We're not.

Did you know statistically speaking that every one of us has thought about suicide as an option? If this is true, why don't we speak about it? I'll tell you why, because the world is afraid of anything that isn't sunshine and rainbows. Not everything is a love story, not everything is a mystery or a horror. A true writer writes what they feel and what others are afraid to even think. That's what makes writing good. Some things need to be spoken about. 

The common belief that books about suicide, self harm, and drugs are only for emos is a myth! If it's marketing that these agents fear, then maybe they should quit their jobs because who wants to live in a box full of misconceptions and ignorance? Well, thinking twice, maybe some of them do...

I don't mean to make suicide or self harm a marketing scheme but to say that theoretically no one would care to read books about these topics unless they're for medical research is absurd! I'm sure parents of children who struggle with these issues would love to understand what their children are going through or what they may be thinking on a day to day basis. Heck! Even brothers, sisters, aunts, and uncles of these people would like to gain a better understanding. 

Growing up I felt like no one understood me (actually I feel like this now on a daily basis) and maybe if there were more books available that talked about these things, the people around me would have started to question their misconceptions about me. The world has learned to label anyone struggling with these issues as "attention seekers". No one ever thinks to say something or try to dig a little deeper. 

We're always told that "we think it's all about us" and that "it's not how the world works". Do you honestly believe we want all of that attention? Why would we want the world to revolve around us when all it would do is turn us into an even bigger freak show?

I thank writers like Ellen Hopkins, Jay Asher, Cheryl Rainfield for writing about real issues and not being afraid. I also thank the public for turning them into bestselling authors, proving those literary agents wrong when they say there is no market for such things. If their success isn't proof enough for you, then you remain ignorant.

Just search the hashtags #selfharm, #suicide, #emo, and #cutter on Twitter and Instagram, then tell me what you find. Shocking right? Now if you add #depressed, #scars, and #nohope to the list your heart may break. No one caters to them because everyone is looking from a business standpoint and us emos aren't included. We don't matter. Our "market" isn't big enough to be addressed. 

There are millions and they don't deserve to be noticed for marketing reasons or money, they deserve to be noticed because they should know that it can be better and whatever they do affects everyone else around them. By ignoring their "market" you are essentially ignoring them. 

A Tragic Heart isn't all about self harm and suicide attempts. It's much more than that. There a love story, humor, and depictions of everyday life for teenagers and young adults. It goes beyond a young adult novel and crosses over to adult fiction. It's something in it for everyone and it shouldn't be aimed at a market. It's for anyone who has ever felt anything at all.

Sexual abuse happens (just ask the brave and beautiful red head, Rachel Thompson) so it should be talked about. Drug addiction and teen prostitution take over lives, just talk to Ellen Hopkins about it. Suicide hurts...Jay Asher gets that.

Sexual abuse happens to more than a market of people. Drug addiction isn't something only felt by the underprivileged. Teen prostitution doesn't only touch those involved. Self harm and suicide isn't only for emos.

"Wearing our vintage misery
No, I think it looked a little better on me......"So broke our spirit, " says the note we pass"

 

 

 

Native Tongue: A Post for Literary Agents

"Living in a city of sleepless people
Who all know the limits and won't go too far outside the lines
Cause they're' out of their minds."

"Generally the agents seem to dislike anything too violent or depressing, and stress that writers should "sell a solution, not a problem." This is a comment under a literary agency's information. A few days ago I expressed over Twitter and Facebook how I find it troubling that agents shy away from topics such as suicide, rape, and drugs because these are real issues that happen to real people. We all don't live in a fairytale land where the leading character finds love in the end and the only issue she had to deal with was bullying (not that bullying isn't a serious issue). No one wants to go there. Everyone wants to play it "safe" and not cross the line that will possibly cement them a spot in history. 

Another troubling aspect about the comment above is how do they know if the author is selling a solution or a problem if they're not reading the material? I sent in a query letter along with sample writing at 11:51 am and by 12:12 pm I had my 12th rejection letter in my inbox (by the way, I received #13 a couple of hours later...one more and I'm tied with J.K. Rowling). You would think these literary agents would have learned their lessons by now. If you were to go to www.literaryrejections.com you can see how some of the most iconic writing pieces were rejected and slammed by literary agents and publishers only to leave them kicking themselves on their backsides in the end. Want to know the real problem? They don't know what the people want and they only go by the "standards" they were taught in school. A true visionary and writer can see past "school standards" and know that crossing lines is necessary sometimes. Sadly, all of my rejections have said the same thing: "I'm not enthusiastic about the concept", "I can't grasp the concept", "You deserve an agent who is passionate about your concept".

HOLD UP ONE MINUTE!!!!!!!

So you're basically telling me that my writing skills, plot, setting, OR character development are NOT the reasons you're rejecting me but because I choose to share a personal experience in a fictional manner that touches on issues needed to be spoken about? See, I can write the generic love story and get bashed by "the people" and I can become a basic "writer" like most but I choose to take risks because I believe in building my own voice. I'm not here to write about what you want me to write about, I'm here for MY art and eventually someone will like it (actually NOT ONE reader has been disappointed...and that's what matters most). I refuse to change my topic or story because the world is simple minded and unoriginal. You see, I can be generic...but that's not me! To quote my favorite band, "I got a light that won't go out, been burning since the day I was born! So I cry just a little then I dry my eyes 'cause I'm not a little girl no more!" Basically, basic isn't in my vocabulary and neither is generic or safe. I always liked the wild rides anyway.

"They think we’re crazy ‘cause it sounds like noise to them. Ain’t it strange all the things you hear when you sit and listen?"

But really, imagine all of the things you can hear and learn when you sit and listen? Maybe if these agents gave something a little outside of their comfort zone a chance, they would love it. Or maybe they just don't speak the same language as some of us. I wrote this for myself but I also wrote it for all of the broken ones out there. A Tragic Heart was meant to give others something to relate to. There weren't (and still aren't) many books that talk about self-mutilation, depression, or any mental illness for that matter. Why should I change my story because they can't speak our language? Maybe if they read more stories like it, they can speak emo too (hahaha, but in order for them to read those stories they would have to start accepting them...oh, the irony!). 

We feel like no one understands us, like we're the only ones in the world going through it even though we know logically it's not true. All I can say is that it would have helped a lot if I had more books like A Tragic Heart, Scars, Impulse, and The Perks of Being a Wallflower growing up. Haven't these people heard of Cheryl Rainfield and Ellen Hopkins? They're best-selling authors who saw success through writing about some of the most touchy subjects. The reason why they were so successful: people related. It's simple, really. 

Nicholas Sparks is a great writer but how many of us can honestly say we lived The Notebook or The Last Song? I'm sure more people felt the way Charlie did in The Perks of Being A Wallflower. If everyone accepts the same things how can anyone find room to be different? Rejecting taboo topics is like rejecting life and people's personal struggles. It's like saying "your experience isn't good or interesting enough". It's like saying "your hardships and conquering isn't something worth writing or telling about". It should be common sense that feelings of rejection, loneliness, and unworthiness are things that should be written and spoken about. 

Now, I'm not saying that all literary agents are generic and close minded because there are a few that speak my native tongue, I just have to find them (or maybe they will find me). As Paramore says, "...if you give up, you get what you deserve!"

"How can they say that it’s one way when it’s the opposite? And how can they know the end of the story before I tell it?