Character Profile for Turn It Off: Sophia Lawson

It's another week which means I got another character profile from Turn It Off. I decided to do one on Sophia because she's pretty important in Turn It Off even though she's only in it for a short amount of time. Back in July, I also wrote a short story based on her past life called Runaway. You can view that here: /sellecameron/2015/07/sophia-runaway-short-story.html .

In the book, Sophia is one of Peyton's many girls and she's the one who gets him deep into his troubled ways. In A Tragic Heart, Peyton ran off a list of girls he's been with before Taylor and she was one of the girls he mentioned. Specifically he said, "Sophia was the girl I liked a lot. The feeling was mutual, so it didn't take long for me and her to-you know." (Page 201 of A Tragic Heart).

Turn It Off is the back story of A Tragic Heart and how it came to be in the first place. I like to think of it as a prequel to the very first novel of the series. Introducing Sophia Lawson!

Full Name: Sophia Kae Lawson

Birth Date: August 5, 1992

Gender: Female

Age During Turn It Off: 15-16 years old

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Color: Brown

Height: 5'1

Weight: 110 lbs

Relatives: Bethany Holmes (Mother), Roger Lawson (Father), Paul Holmes (Step-father), Sean Lawson (Brother)

Relationship Status: It's complicated

Interests/Hobbies: Hanging with friends, partying, acting, listening to music

Positive Character Traits: Sophia is an extremely fun person and is always very upbeat. It's hard to keep her down because of her positive attitude and her bubbly personality. You can easily get lost in her world because she's so addicting to be around.

Negative Character Traits: Although she is a bubbly person, she also has a dark side. Sophia was molested and raped by her step father before she became a runaway. This caused her to lead a life of drug addiction and promiscuity (leading Peyton into a similar life). Some of the things she calls fun aren't the best things to do.

Choice Quote From Turn It Off: "...Everything was fine until that happened."

And that's Sophia! She's wild and fun but she also has a soft side (specifically for Peyton). Maybe someday in the future I'll get to write a book only on her. She has a lot to talk about and she went through a lot in her life at such an early age. You can check out the teaser to Turn It Off here: http://www.amazon.com/S.-Elle-Cameron/e/B00FNI34X4/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_pop_1 

I'll be back with another character profile shortly...

By the way, if Sophia was a song she would be Runaway by Pink:

 

Sophia-Runaway (Short Story)

Finally a new short story! It's been weeks since I've written one of these so I think you guys more than deserve it. This short story introduces a new character to the RED Tragedies series. She actually has a chapter named after her in Turn It Off (coming this Fall!) and is known for being one of Peyton's many girlfriends. Her name is also mentioned in A Tragic Heart when Peyton gives Taylor his "list".

Anyway, you'll learn while reading Turn It Off that Sophia and Peyton had a very complicated relationship. She introduced him to new drugs and a new lifestyle and in the book he compares her to tooth decay. This short story shows that Sophia isn't all bad and that she had a troubled past herself. Peyton mentions in Turn It Off that Sophia confessed to him that she was molested by her stepdad (which is probably what got her into her troubled lifestyle) while he told her that his stepdad used to abuse him physically.

You can check out the intro & first chapter to Turn It Off here: http://www.amazon.com/Turn-Off-Intro-Chapter-Tragic/dp/1508591970/ref=la_B00FNI34X4_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1436746837&sr=1-4

Introducing to you all: Sophia!

Listen to "Runaway" by Pink on repeat while reading:

https://soundcloud.com/ahmed-hamed7/pink-runaway?in=musik1313-1/sets/pink-runaway

 

Sophia-Runaway

            He did it again. It’s not the second, third, or fourth time he’s put me through this pain. I try to like it but there’s nothing desirable about this. I keep trying to get into it so I won’t have to admit to myself that my own stepfather is taking advantage of me. 

            My mother’s too blind and in love to notice it. He gives us everything we could ever want. His business is doing better than ever which means that my mother isn’t going anywhere. This is her fourth marriage and the worst…at least for me. 

            Every day I wish my biological father was around but my mother ran him off long ago. He moved to Florida and started a new family. We keep in touch but my mother doesn’t like it when I say things like I want to live with him or suggest going for the entire summer. I’d do anything just to get out of this place. 

            I rushed to the bathroom and started the shower. I had to take the dirt off of me. I scrub until I bleed sometimes. It’s like I can never get clean. I take my washcloth and rub my skin over and over as the tears fall from my eyes. I feel sick; but this is nothing new. 

            I picture him kissing me, placing his hand over my mouth so I won’t make any noise, telling me how great it all feels. As the last thought rushed through my mind I ball my fists and bang them on the wall of the shower. I let out a sharp painful scream followed by more tears. The pain from my hands was minimal compared to the pain inside of me.

            There’s a knock on the door. I ignore it. I don’t want anyone to exist right now. I just need myself to be the only one on earth.

            “Sophia, sweetheart are you okay?” I can hear my mother say from the other side of the door. Her voice sounded worried. I only wished she was more concerned with what her current husband was doing to her fourteen year old daughter. “Sophia, answer me or else I’m coming in!”

            “I-I’m fine mom. I just hit my hand. I’m okay,” I answered with a trembling voice.

            “Sweetie, you don’t sound like you’re okay. Let me in so I can take a look at your hand,” she says.

            I quickly clear my throat to speak again. “No, no, it’s okay. I swear!” I insisted. The last thing I wanted was for her to see me like this…completely naked. 

            “Okay, just be careful,” she replies before walking away. 

            After a few more minutes I turn off the water. I grab my towel and step out. The bathroom mirror is foggy and I think about how I wish it could stay that way. I never want to look at myself after one of me and my stepdad’s sessions. I slowly open the bathroom door. It’s like having to step out into the real world after a two year vacation. 

            The air outside the bathroom is much cooler and for a second I feel like I can breathe again; that is, until my stepfather walks past me. He gives me a sly smirk and I could feel chills shoot throughout my body. I hurry and rush into my room making sure to lock the door behind me. 

            Everything in me tells me that this is all his fault and he’s the sick one but something else inside of me blames myself. Somehow I feel like I’m wrong in this situation. I feel like I’m the one hurting my mother and if I tell her what’s been going on I’ll be the one to ruin her marriage. I want to cry but I can’t. I cried the first few times it happened but after that I had nothing left inside of me. 

            I stood in front of my mirror and threw my towel off. My skin was bright red from all of the scrubbing I did in the shower. There were marks on my body from washing yet somehow I still feel dirty. I feel like actual filth not just a metaphor for it. 

            I put on a pair of underwear and lie across my bed in fetal position. There has to be a better way. There has to be a way out of here. I can’t stay in this house for another year. I can’t keep acting like everything is okay when it’s far from it. Nothing makes any sense anymore but I know if I stay here I’ll be the victim to a sociopath for the foreseeable future.

            Part of me tells me that I should tell someone…anyone but I’m not ready for the judgement that follows. I don’t want to be looked at differently. I never been with any other guy and I don’t want to have to say out loud that I lost everything to my stepfather. That my first lover was a man I never wanted to even touch me. No girl wants that.

            There has to be somewhere I can go…someone that’ll take me in. I pick up my cell phone that was next to me on the bed. I go to my contacts and call one of my friends, Hannah. She’s always there for me when I need her. She answers on the third ring. 

            “Hey Sophia!” she says happily into the phone.

            I can’t ruin the mood so I try to reply the same way. We talk for a little before I ask her what I really called for. 

            “Hey, Hannah, do you think I could stay at your place for the weekend? My mom and stepdad aren’t exactly getting along right now and I don’t want to get caught in the middle of it,” I lie. “Besides, maybe they could use the alone time.”

            “Of course! Come by whenever you’re ready. You already know my mom doesn’t mind at all. You’re like a daughter to her!” she says excitedly.

            For the first time all day I crack a smile…a real one. I don’t care if it’s just for the weekend, I get to run away and not think about this place…not think about him…

Find out more about Sophia in the RED Tragedies Series here. Sophia appears in Turn It Off.

 

 

I'm The One That's Got To Die, So Let Me Live!

"Whatever it is that you do, you should do
You should do it with your head held high
So when you're doing your thing it's 'cause you wanna
And they never can ask you why"-
Pink (Do What You Do)

The legendary Jimi Hendrix once said, "I'm the one that's got to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.” For some reason people don't understand what he was saying. I mean, it's pretty self explanatory so why is it that people are still clutching their chests as if they're about to have a heart attack over someone's decision? Why are people still judging others in this day and age? 

What I have come to find in my short lifetime is that usually the judgmental ones are the biggest hypocrites. Those self righteous individuals wouldn't know true righteousness if it was crammed down their throats. I'm tired of living in a time where people get judged based on their looks. The world teaches us that looks aren't everything yet everyone is so quick to judge someone because they present themselves in a different way than most. 

I had an incredible English teacher when I was in high school. Her name is Mrs. Sullivan and she taught us the most important lesson anyone could ever give another. She taught us to never conform and to never be like anyone else or falter to society's "rules" and "standards". She taught me how to be an individual and think for myself and forget who is talking or watching. This lesson has set me free. 

Conformity binds us. That old saying, "if you can't beat them, join them," is lethal to the soul. It's basically telling you to kill who you are and just fit in and shut up. Never shut up! People have these misconstrued ideas and logic on what someone should be like because of their title. Am I supposed to be like you because we identify with the same group? NO! Open your eyes and see that I am an individual and I shouldn't be expected to do something because you think it's right. We need to start standing up for ourselves.

What do you see when you look at me? Chances are, you probably got me all wrong. Do you want to know what I stand for? What I represent? How about you ask me? Maybe you should have a chat with me over lunch to hear what I believe in or what I am passionate about. Truth is you know nothing about my struggles so you can't possibly know me or even have an idea about me until you actually get to know me. This goes for everyone. We all have different looks, personalities, and ways of expression and we should be free to show this without being prejudged.

Want to know who I am? I'm a girl who believes in feminism and equal rights for all. I advocate for those who suffer from mental illnesses and I will always encourage people to be whoever they want. I like short dresses and tight fitting clothes because I believe a woman's body is her own and it is her choice to do whatever she wants with it. She should embrace it and love it whether it is privately or publicly. I'm an animal lover and will help someone at the drop of a dime as long as I have the means. I stand up for my friends and will probably take a bullet for my dog. I'm really shy upon first meeting and a lot of people mistake this for weakness. I support those I believe in and loyalty goes a long way with me. I obsess over crazy hair color and I like rocking out to rock music in my room alone. You probably didn't see half of these things when you looked at me.

If you want to judge someone based on what you see on the outside, then go ahead! It's probably your loss anyway. That person that you judge is probably one of the most amazing people you would ever come to know. If you are the one being judged, then I say to you do not change for anyone or anything. It's like what Kacey Musgraves said, "just 'cause you can't beat them, don't mean you should join them!"