S. Elle Cameron

All love is a tragedy...

Filtering by Tag: Coming Soon

New Website & New Material for 2017!

The last time I wrote anything on this blog was back in June when I shared that I started an organization called Jumping Waves. After that I got really caught up in planning my wedding (yes, I got married!), being apart of my sister's wedding and moving across the country (NYC to AZ). Now, I'm not exactly settled but I got tired of waiting. I felt the need to get back on my grind and start working towards my goals again. First off, SElleCameron.com got a new look and a new host!

 

Crazy Little Thing Called Love is almost complete (literally like a chapter or two away from being done), My novel I wrote back in 2010, Smoke & Mirrors will get some attention from me by being reworked and released, not to mention Jumping Waves will be making some waves. These are my goals for 2017. Not to mention, I want to create a website for Wanderlust, my blog I started back in March that is dedicated to my travel affairs around the world. That will be reworked from scratch.

 

I want to start video blogging as well but my webcam on my computer no longer works but this won't stop me. Hopefully sometime in the upcoming months I'll get around to purchasing one so I can get going. I'm currently wracking my brain trying to come up with new ways to reach more people. I don't desire anymore breaks and I want to keep it moving.

 

Here's a list of projects coming in 2017 (so far):

  • What Could've Been
  • Crazy Little Thing Called Love
  • Smoke & Mirrors
  • More short stories
  • Video updates
  • More activity from Jumping Waves
  • Launch a website for Wanderlust (my travel blog) 
  • The re-release of A Tragic Heart (my first novel)

Follow me on my social media accounts for updates on projects:

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Turn It Off Giveaway!

Hey everyone! I know I've been away for a while but I haven't stopped my author duties. I've been editing and rewriting my books all summer long. Turn It Off went through it's first round of editing, A Tragic Heart has been re-edited and even rewritten (no major changes just details to make it more complete with more explanation), and What Could've Been is almost through with it's first round as well.

I sent off Turn It Off to my publishing company, Line by Lion and I plan to have it released by the end of fall. The cover is already done and now I'm waiting for it to be edited professionally along with all the other steps it take to release a book.

Well, remember when I said I wanted to head on a blog tour and have a giveaway for the teaser to Turn It Off? I still want those things and in fact, one of them is actually about to happen within the next few hours. I've set up a giveaway for Turn It Off via Amazon and every lucky 13th entrant will receive a free copy of the teaser to the novel coming out this fall! I will post the link when it goes live and keep you all updated. Please remember to leave a review on Amazon if you are a winner. Here's the link to the teaser and the official cover is available below for your viewing: http://www.amazon.com/Turn-Off-Intro-Chapter-Tragic/dp/1508591970/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8


Turn It Off Cover Reveal!

I'm so excited for this book because it's my favorite from the series and I can now say the same for the book cover! I feel like not only is it appealing to the eye but its symbolism is perfect. Honestly, the cover couldn't be any better for the book. 

Take a look at the official cover for Turn It Off along with the back cover description.  Remember the intro & first chapter teaser is available on Amazon and I will be conducting a giveaway next month as we  near closer to the book's release this fall. Hope you all love it and please feel free to comment and leave your thoughts. 

Turn It Off: Intro & First Chapter: http://amzn.to/1gVGiCg


Sophia-Runaway (Short Story)

Finally a new short story! It's been weeks since I've written one of these so I think you guys more than deserve it. This short story introduces a new character to the RED Tragedies series. She actually has a chapter named after her in Turn It Off (coming this Fall!) and is known for being one of Peyton's many girlfriends. Her name is also mentioned in A Tragic Heart when Peyton gives Taylor his "list".

Anyway, you'll learn while reading Turn It Off that Sophia and Peyton had a very complicated relationship. She introduced him to new drugs and a new lifestyle and in the book he compares her to tooth decay. This short story shows that Sophia isn't all bad and that she had a troubled past herself. Peyton mentions in Turn It Off that Sophia confessed to him that she was molested by her stepdad (which is probably what got her into her troubled lifestyle) while he told her that his stepdad used to abuse him physically.

You can check out the intro & first chapter to Turn It Off here: http://www.amazon.com/Turn-Off-Intro-Chapter-Tragic/dp/1508591970/ref=la_B00FNI34X4_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1436746837&sr=1-4

Introducing to you all: Sophia!

Listen to "Runaway" by Pink on repeat while reading:

https://soundcloud.com/ahmed-hamed7/pink-runaway?in=musik1313-1/sets/pink-runaway

 
Sophia-Runaway

            He did it again. It’s not the second, third, or fourth time he’s put me through this pain. I try to like it but there’s nothing desirable about this. I keep trying to get into it so I won’t have to admit to myself that my own stepfather is taking advantage of me. 

            My mother’s too blind and in love to notice it. He gives us everything we could ever want. His business is doing better than ever which means that my mother isn’t going anywhere. This is her fourth marriage and the worst…at least for me. 

            Every day I wish my biological father was around but my mother ran him off long ago. He moved to Florida and started a new family. We keep in touch but my mother doesn’t like it when I say things like I want to live with him or suggest going for the entire summer. I’d do anything just to get out of this place. 

            I rushed to the bathroom and started the shower. I had to take the dirt off of me. I scrub until I bleed sometimes. It’s like I can never get clean. I take my washcloth and rub my skin over and over as the tears fall from my eyes. I feel sick; but this is nothing new. 

            I picture him kissing me, placing his hand over my mouth so I won’t make any noise, telling me how great it all feels. As the last thought rushed through my mind I ball my fists and bang them on the wall of the shower. I let out a sharp painful scream followed by more tears. The pain from my hands was minimal compared to the pain inside of me.

            There’s a knock on the door. I ignore it. I don’t want anyone to exist right now. I just need myself to be the only one on earth.

            “Sophia, sweetheart are you okay?” I can hear my mother say from the other side of the door. Her voice sounded worried. I only wished she was more concerned with what her current husband was doing to her fourteen year old daughter. “Sophia, answer me or else I’m coming in!”

            “I-I’m fine mom. I just hit my hand. I’m okay,” I answered with a trembling voice.

            “Sweetie, you don’t sound like you’re okay. Let me in so I can take a look at your hand,” she says.
            I quickly clear my throat to speak again. “No, no, it’s okay. I swear!” I insisted. The last thing I wanted was for her to see me like this…completely naked. 

            “Okay, just be careful,” she replies before walking away. 

            After a few more minutes I turn off the water. I grab my towel and step out. The bathroom mirror is foggy and I think about how I wish it could stay that way. I never want to look at myself after one of me and my stepdad’s sessions. I slowly open the bathroom door. It’s like having to step out into the real world after a two year vacation. 

            The air outside the bathroom is much cooler and for a second I feel like I can breathe again; that is, until my stepfather walks past me. He gives me a sly smirk and I could feel chills shoot throughout my body. I hurry and rush into my room making sure to lock the door behind me. 

            Everything in me tells me that this is all his fault and he’s the sick one but something else inside of me blames myself. Somehow I feel like I’m wrong in this situation. I feel like I’m the one hurting my mother and if I tell her what’s been going on I’ll be the one to ruin her marriage. I want to cry but I can’t. I cried the first few times it happened but after that I had nothing left inside of me. 

            I stood in front of my mirror and threw my towel off. My skin was bright red from all of the scrubbing I did in the shower. There were marks on my body from washing yet somehow I still feel dirty. I feel like actual filth not just a metaphor for it. 

            I put on a pair of underwear and lie across my bed in fetal position. There has to be a better way. There has to be a way out of here. I can’t stay in this house for another year. I can’t keep acting like everything is okay when it’s far from it. Nothing makes any sense anymore but I know if I stay here I’ll be the victim to a sociopath for the foreseeable future.

            Part of me tells me that I should tell someone…anyone but I’m not ready for the judgement that follows. I don’t want to be looked at differently. I never been with any other guy and I don’t want to have to say out loud that I lost everything to my stepfather. That my first lover was a man I never wanted to even touch me. No girl wants that.

            There has to be somewhere I can go…someone that’ll take me in. I pick up my cell phone that was next to me on the bed. I go to my contacts and call one of my friends, Hannah. She’s always there for me when I need her. She answers on the third ring. 

            “Hey Sophia!” she says happily into the phone.

            I can’t ruin the mood so I try to reply the same way. We talk for a little before I ask her what I really called for. 

            “Hey, Hannah, do you think I could stay at your place for the weekend? My mom and stepdad aren’t exactly getting along right now and I don’t want to get caught in the middle of it,” I lie. “Besides, maybe they could use the alone time.”

            “Of course! Come by whenever you’re ready. You already know my mom doesn’t mind at all. You’re like a daughter to her!” she says excitedly.

            For the first time all day I crack a smile…a real one. I don’t care if it’s just for the weekend, I get to run away and not think about this place…not think about him

Find out more about Sophia in the RED Tragedies Series here. Sophia appears in Turn It Off.

 
 


Turn It Off Coming This Fall!

Now that the book shower is over and RED has been released and met with great reviews it's time for Turn It Off to shine. I will say that this is probably my favorite book from the series as it focuses exclusively on Peyton and his trials while coming of age. He was a very different person before Taylor came into his life and his life was a bit tragic to say the least.

Turn It Off is told from Peyton's point of view only and is structured as the average novel. As of now the intro and first chapter of the book is available on Amazon for purchase. It's $2.99 for Kindle users and $4.65 for paperback. It's the first 42 pages of the book unedited just so you can have a taste of what's to come. There is also an important message from me in the beginning letting you all know where I gained the inspiration to write the novel (thank you Paramore!).

Turn It Off acts as a prequel to A Tragic Heart and you will see a lot of references and moments from the first book but most of it is what led up to A Tragic Heart. In my opinion, this book is just as important as A Tragic Heart because without Turn It Off, A Tragic Heart would've never happened.

I'll start a giveaway on Amazon for Turn It Off (Intro & 1st Chapter) and will embark on a blog tour to support the novel. I'm hoping for an October/November release for the novel. I will keep you all updated but for now check out the first 42 pages of Turn It Off here: http://www.amazon.com/Turn-Off-Intro-Chapter-Tragic/dp/1508591970/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

Back to editing Turn It Off...next/last stop What Could've Been!



Reminisce (A Poem From Jackson's POV + New Scene From RED)

Last week I shorted you guys and didn't give you a poem from a character's POV or a new scene from RED. This week I'm making up for it! This poem comes from Jackson's POV and it's a little out of his character. Anyone who remembers Jackson from A Tragic Heart knows that he has the rep of being the cool brother; the laid back one who Taylor confided in. Well, he's the same person in RED only this time Peyton (Taylor and Peyton's daughter) confides in him instead. Usually he's the upbeat, awesome uncle/brother everyone loves but this poem shows a more somber side to him. It's a side you never see much of and he only lets it out in private. Here's Reminisce:

Sidenote: If you missed the previous poem you can view it here!

In my mind I can see your face so clearly
The years went by but it all still feels the same
I can live an eternity & I'll still miss you severely 
Nothing can replace you, none of my fortune and fame
I gasp for air because you're not here
It's like your memory chokes me until I can't breathe
Losing you was always my biggest fear
Your memory haunts me, I can barely speak
I never thought it would all end like this
You, untouchable, while I suffer in silence
Living everyday is a hit or miss
There's an inner battle, I suffer the violence
Now I sit back and reminisce
Nostalgia sends me into a dark place
I'm so sorry you felt you had to go out like this 
I would give it all just to see your face

And she's dying here without you
But I don't want to place blame
But there's nothing I can do
Nothing was ever the same

I can't breathe without you but I have no choice...


Here's the scene from RED that inspired Reminisce. It's Jackson's inner monologue after he holds a conversation with Peyton. RED is set to be released this Valentine's Day (February 14, 2015)! Any Peyton that is in bold letters refers to the Peyton from A Tragic Heart.



My time with Peyton results in me needing some alone time anyway. My stomach is in knots and there is a huge lump in my throat. I head to my room and lock the door. I close my eyes and exhale trying to make the pain go away but it’s stubborn. It wants to hang around for a little while longer.
Almost seventeen years later and the pain is still as arresting as it was the day I found out. That day when Mason called me to tell me that he found Taylor in a pool of her own blood with a giant knife sticking out of her chest. I didn’t want to believe that she took her own life, as it would have been easier to know that someone else was to blame. I hated blaming my own sister for her death.
I remember it so clearly. I couldn’t speak, my mouth was dry and the lump in my throat prevented me from forming words. This feeling that I am feeling right now is all too familiar.
My brain shut down on me. Taylor was my best friend and to hear Mason tell me that she was no longer with me was my biggest fear. I never imagined a world without Taylor. I’ve tried to several times before but the thoughts were in flashes. I never took the time to ponder how I would go on without her because I knew it would hurt too much.
I was angry. Why wouldn’t she call me like she normally did? Why didn’t she think of me? If she wasn’t going to stay for her baby girl, why not stay for me?
Matt, my bass guitarist had to pull me together. I had a show that night and it was too late to cancel. I had to go on stage in front of thousands of people and try my best to smile. I broke down during every break throughout the set. I guess that moment made me a stronger person because nothing could stop me from performing now. Performing through that circumstance taught me how to play through anything with a smile on my face.
Taylor was too young to take on the responsibilities she placed before herself. She should have enjoyed life as a teenager but I could understand why it was so difficult for her. So many unfortunate things happened to her before she reached her fifteenth birthday. I was her only confidant and when I left to tour after high school, she felt alone. Part of me blamed myself for her problems but I knew I had to live my life too. I just wished that there was something else I could have done. I did my best to stay in contact with her but some days were harder than others. She never understood just how much I loved her. Words weren’t enough.
I would take my own life just to save hers if I had a choice. At the funeral I could barely stand to look at her lying there. I wanted to believe that she was only sleeping and it was some sort of sick joke but my gut reminded me that it was all real. The truth is I almost didn’t show up. Mason forced me to come. I called him the day of the service to tell him that I wasn’t going. Ten minutes later he was at my doorstep forcing me to get ready. He told me that I’d regret it later.
I told him that the thought alone was killing me and I wouldn’t be able to take seeing her in that state. It didn’t make sense to me that I’d never see my little sister again. It didn’t make sense that I’d never hear her voice calling me ever again or that she no longer existed. It didn’t make sense to me that she would take her own life…although it made perfect sense to me.
She loved Peyton more than her own life. She loved him so much that she would choose selfishness over thinking about the ones who still loved her that were here on earth. She couldn’t have thought about what it would have done to me. She mentioned me in her suicide note but it wasn’t enough. She couldn’t tell me to stay strong and that she loved me if she was going to do something so drastic. She didn’t understand and every day I ask God to show her mercy because she didn’t know what she was doing. She wasn’t in her right mind. I ask Him every day to punish me rather than her. I deserve it more than she does. She was good throughout her lifetime. She made one irreversible mistake…just one. I plead all the time for Him to go easy on her. She needed grace more than anyone else I’ve ever come in contact with.
Peyton died in a tragic way. No one could have predicted it and everyone asked “why him?” He was only seventeen and had so much life ahead of him. He was supposed to be right next to me selling out arenas. The kid had undeniable talent that was out of this world. He obviously passed it onto his daughter. I think she’s more like him than Taylor. She has his hair and eyes…it’s almost scary. Anyone who knew Peyton could tell that she was all him. She has some of Taylor’s attitude and slight traits in her personality but her nature was every bit of her dad’s.
Her rebellious temperament, her musical ability, her wild ways are all Peyton. He slowed down a lot after meeting Taylor. In many ways she saved him too. Taylor always credited Peyton for her happiness but he claimed that he was a changed man because of her. He gave up his heavy drinking, drug use, partying and women just for her. He told me all about his past life before Taylor while we were on tour. In fact, his past life was eerily similar to his daughter’s present life.
We became really good friends and I looked forward to having him as a brother-in-law. I already saw him as the brother I never had. Damn, Peyton if you never left, Taylor would still be here and if Taylor was still here your daughter would be okay.
There’s no time to play the blaming game. All is how it is and there’s no changing that. We have to learn how to deal with the present without falling down…and if we fall we need to learn how to pick ourselves up. If not for ourselves, for someone who cares about us. I wish Taylor would have known that. I wish I would have told her that the day I visited her a little after Peyton was born. Maybe those words could have saved her life. She always thought highly of my opinions and advice.
The pain that I’m feeling isn’t showing any signs of letting up anytime soon. My thoughts race a 
million miles per hour leaving me sitting at the edge of my bed with tears falling from my eyes. And the pain never goes away...

Character Profile From RED: Robyn West

January is here which means it's time for another character profile (this SHOULD be the second to last one since RED is slated for a Valentine's Day release). This profile is for a minor character in RED but she plays an important part in the main character, Peyton's life. She's her best friend and she's as loyal as they come. Allow me to introduce you all to Robyn West!






Full Name: Robyn Victoria West

Birth Date: July 20, 2010

Gender: Female

Age During RED: 16-18 years old

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Color: Brown

Height: 5'8

Weight: 125 lbs

Relatives: Marsha West (Mother), Garrett West (Father), Jeffrey West (Brother)

Relationship Status: Single/Too busy having a good time to be tied down

Interest/Hobbies: Partying, Hanging out with friends, Modeling

Positive Character Traits: Robyn is as loyal as loyal can get. She sticks by her friends and loved ones through any circumstance and never judges anyone. She's easy to talk to and would drop whatever she's doing at the drop of a dime for someone she cares about. Not only is she loyal but she's also giving.

Negative Character Traits: Sometimes she parties too hard but she's sure to grow out of it. She's young, let her have her fun!

Choice Quote From RED:  "Things may not go back to the way they were immediately, but I think eventually they will. It's just going to take some time..."

That's all I have for Robyn! Although she's a very minor character I feel she still deserves a character profile. Robyn is a beautiful person inside and out and I think we all can learn a thing or two from her. Forget her partying ways; she's someone we all should strive to be more like. As a reminder, RED comes out this Valentine's Day (February 14th) and is the second part to A Tragic Heart (which by the way will have a new cover for its re-release) so I strongly urge you all to catch up. Until next time...

By the way, if Robyn was a song she'd be Right Here by Jhene Aiko!



 

Mistakes (A Poem From Adalyn's POV + New Scene From RED)

Another week, another poem and scene from RED. Being that it's New Year's Eve, I think a poem about making mistakes and trying to learn and get better from them will be appropriate. We all have something we want to work out for the New Year. This poem is from Adalyn's point of view. It's called Mistakes. If you missed the poem from last week you can view it here.

Mistakes are lessons
Mistakes are certain
But it's always ugly revealing what's behind the curtain
He wasn't ready for it
Neither was I
But I caused it and left us to die

Mistakes are normal
Mistakes cause heartache
But I didn't mean for his heart to break
He was never there
And I was lonely
In my heart, he's my one and only

I did something that I can't take back
 There's no way of erasing the facts
But where's forgiveness when you need it?
I wait by the phone and I sit and sit

Mistakes are things we all must make
Mistakes are the things that raises the stakes
They test you when things are low
They make sure things are never the same
Mistakes cause you to remember you're the one to blame

I'm tired of pointing fingers
I just want us to be us again
But the trials from my mistake won't ever end
You left me all alone
And I may deserve it
But let's not act like you were perfect

You dreamed about her while you were awake
I was second best and that's what I can't take
You put me last when I should've been first
You buried me with her in the dirt

Now I'm done with pointing fingers
I just want to make you see
That I wasn't the only one who did something ugly
You raised her from the dead
While I was alive
So I made a mistake...that I can't deny

Here's the scene from RED that inspired Mistakes. Remember RED will be out this Valentine's Day.


“Adalyn, what’s going on?” he says frantically.
“I don’t know what happened but Lila said-”  I began to speak in my weak voice before he interrupts.
“Where were you when this happened? Why don’t you know what happened?” He raises his voice.
“Um, Mason I know you’re upset but you may want to tone it down a little,” Peyton warns as she touches his shoulder.
He takes a deep breath and I decide it’s a safe time to speak.
“Look Mason, I know that you’re upset and you have so many reasons to be right now. It was a lapse in judgment on my part and-”
“Yeah, Adalyn you’ve been having a lot of those lately, haven’t you?” he snaps at me.
I look at Peyton whose face tells me how sorry she is for everything. I don’t know what to say to him. Everything I say to him is going to be wrong.
“I’ll stay here just in case someone comes out with news on Ryan. I’ll let the nurse know that I’m here with you guys. You two should head outside and talk this out,” she offers in the kindest way possible.
Mason seems hesitant about her suggestion but eventually obliges. I follow behind him like a lost puppy and can’t help but think how much I’ve missed him.
“Now will you let me explain?” I ask the moment we reached outside the hospital’s entrance.
“Go ahead,” he responds coldly.
“I let the kids play outside for a while so I could get a few things together around the house. I had no one there to watch them so I told Lila to look out for her brothers being that she’s the oldest. Everything was fine. After I finished cleaning up and making sure everything was in order I looked at the time and saw that it was time for them to eat lunch. Before I went to the kitchen I went to the backyard to check on them and told them that it was time for them to come inside. I only left for a few minutes. I honestly don’t know what happened in that short time span but I heard screaming from the kitchen so I ran as fast as I could and-” I try to hold back my tears but I’m not strong enough.
My words strangle me causing my voice to become inaudible. I swallow harshly and struggle to finish my sentence. Mason shows no signs of sympathy.
“That’s when I saw it. Ryan was floating face down in the pool. I immediately pulled him out and started CPR. Lila said she wasn’t paying attention and he and Nick were running around the pool. Nick said they wanted to see who could make the biggest splash by diving in and Ryan went first. Nick said it took him a while to come up and when he did he wasn’t moving. They know they can’t swim, I just don’t understand why they would do something like this,” I finish while wiping my tears away from my eyes.
“I know why. Because they’re kids Adalyn! That’s why you should be watching them at all times! Why would you let them play outside by themselves? Especially the backyard! You know we never let them back there alone! How could you be so God damn stupid and careless?”
“You know what, Mason? Maybe if I had some help this wouldn’t have happened! Maybe if you’d come home sometime I wouldn’t have to deal with things like this! I made a mistake and I’m so sorry! It won’t happen again!” I shout back.
“You’re damn right it won’t happen again Adalyn because I’m getting custody of my children! I didn’t want life to change for them too drastically but this stunt that you pulled leaves me no choice at all. I’m calling my lawyer first thing in the morning!”
Something comes over me. I’m not sure what it is but it takes over my entire body. I’ve never felt anger rise inside of me so quickly. He wants to challenge me for my children. This is what we’ve come to.
I draw my hand back and smack him harder than I thought I could. The left side of his face turns red in an instant. For the first time in a long time, I don’t feel sorry.
“What the fuck?!” he shouts loud enough for the entire parking lot to hear.
“If you think that you’re going to take my children away from me and I won’t fight you, you have another thing coming to you, Mason! I made one mistake by cheating on you but you don’t get to take it out on them! What happened today could have happened if either one of us was watching them. Don’t try to make me sound like a bad parent when I was the one who practically raised them while you were always away working somewhere or obsessing over your dead ex-wife!” I state pointing my index finger at him as if I’m reprimanding a child.
“You have no right to talk to me this way, Adalyn,” he says in a much deeper tone.
Mason can be scary when he’s angry but I don’t let it bother me. I have to show him that I’m capable of being stronger than him.
“You’re an asshole, Mason! You want to know why I’ve been so side tracked lately? It’s because of you. It’s because you won’t talk to me or even look at me! It’s because you’re not even man enough to confront what happened between us. Instead you want to run away as if that’s going to fix things. Well it’s not! You ran away from Taylor, you ran away from Peyton, and now you’re running away from your family. Stop running and learn to deal with the cards given to you! Whether you like it or not you need to come back home so we can settle things like adults. You can keep your new fancy condo just in case you decide we can’t make it. I really don’t give a damn about the decisions you make anymore, Mason, but at least respect your family enough to decide together. You may not want me right now and it’s completely okay with me because at this moment I’m not sure if I want to be with you either!”
Before he can speak another word Peyton comes out to tell us that the doctor would like to see us. I don’t wait for Mason to make a move. Instead I quickly walk back into the entrance of the hospital ignoring everything else around me. Mason can rot in hell for all I care. He’s not going to get away with trying to take my babies away from me. They are all I have left.




 

Dreaming Alive (A Poem From Mason's POV)-New Scene From RED Included!

As most of you already know, RED will be released on February 14, 2015. I thought it was clever to release it on Valentine's Day since the name of the book is RED and...well...you know! Anyway, along with a new character profile every month, I'll also release a poem that is inspired by a scene or page from RED. I think it's a good way to help readers gain a better understanding of the emotional effects certain scenes have on the character. The first poem is called "Dreaming Alive" and it's from Mason's point of view.

Last night I dreamed of you while I was awake
And I prayed to the Lord my soul He'll take
Just so I can be back with you

Do you know what it's like to dream while alive?
To see the damning images deep inside your mind?
But it was worth it because I was with you 

The sparks in your eyes, they were still there
But the fire spread and you disappeared
I'll burn all over again just for you

My eyes are wide open and my heart has been closed
I can't love another because you're all that I know
And I wouldn't have it any other way because of you

I tasted your mouth and you tasted mine
I think we forgot all about the time
But life always worked that way with you

Last night I dreamed while I was alive
But in reality you were on the other side
What I would give for you!

Because last night that dream brought me alive...

Here is the scene from RED, Dreaming Alive was inspired from. It's a scene where Mason dreams of his lost love Taylor (from A Tragic Heart).
 ***
Every time I try to close my eyes, I see her. I keep trying to think of something new, but she won’t get out of my head. Sixteen years and she still haunts me.


I wake up to the smell of breakfast so I quickly get up and brush my teeth. I practically rush down the stairs before something stops me in my tracks.
“Hey, make sure your dad is up. I know how much he hates having to heat up food,” I hear her voice say from the kitchen.
I’m afraid to walk in and be disappointed. It couldn’t be. Is it all a dream? Did it never happen? For a second I feel relieved but then realize that when I open the kitchen door it wouldn’t be her.
I stand in front of the kitchen door for a while before pushing it open. I close my eyes and say a short prayer before viewing what’s in front of me.
“Never mind!” she calls out. “You’re right on time,” she says with a beautiful smile. The smile that’s been imprinted in my mind since the first day we met.
“The smell woke me up,” I say relieved that she’s standing there in front of me again. “Is this real?” I ask her a little confused.
“Last time I checked,” she sounds just as confused as I feel.
“Don’t ever leave me again,” I say touching her beautiful face.
“I won’t. We were young before, it’s different now. I love you.”
“I love you too. I always have and always will.”
She leans in and kisses me passionately. We almost get carried away but the smoke that fills the air reminds us that she’s cooking.
“SHIT!” I yell opening the kitchen window and turning the fan above the stove on.
She laughs a little and tells me to watch my mouth. I stare at her for a long time before she acknowledges it.
“What? Why do you keep looking at me like that?” she asks never wiping that smile off of her face.
“I just had this terrible dream,” I say unable to take my eyes off of her.
“What was it about?”
“I don’t want to bring it up again, but I dreamed that after Peyton died you fell into this deep depression and…” it’s hard for me to say it even though I know that it never happened, “you asked me to watch Peyton for a while, and you never came back. You left me in the worst way possible. I found you on your apartment floor covered in blood. It was the worst thing I’ve ever seen.”
She doesn’t say a word. She just looks at me with glossy eyes as if she’s trying to hold back tears.
“I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to bring it up again,” I say before reaching out to touch her.
She moves away from me and tears fall from her eyes.
“If I knew you loved me this much I would’ve never done it. I regret it every day,” she says through her tears.
I don’t understand.
“I’m confused, what are you talking about?” I ask still trying to move closer to her.
“I would have given you a second chance. You deserved it. I ruined her. I ruined everything! You’re doing such a great job, Mason. It’s not your fault. You’re not the reason why she’s so angry. It’s all my fault! I just wanted to see him again but now I’m stuck!”
She moves back towards the stove and I yell for her to move out of the way. The stove catches fire without good explanation and quickly spreads across the kitchen forming a barrier between us. I try grabbing her to pull her with me but I can’t get to her.
“Don’t leave me!” I yell back at her while reaching for her hand. “Please! Don’t leave me again!”

I jump out of my sleep more startled than I’ve ever been. I look over at the clock and see it reads 5:45 am. I quickly get up and walk to Peyton’s room. She still isn’t home. The hairs on the back of my neck are standing on end and I can’t relax. I walk into the den on the top floor and try to relax by watching some TV. I can’t get that dream out of my head. I say a short prayer and whisper to myself, “Baby, wherever you are, I hope you’re safe and happy.”


 

Character Profile From RED: Jackson Caldwell

December is finally here which means that I have a new character profile for you all! This character is far from a stranger and although he's not one of the main three characters, he's just as important to the RED Tragedies series. Anyone who read A Tragic Heart knows him as Taylor Caldwell's big brother but in RED he's so much more than that. Not only is he Peyton's (Hayley) uncle but he plays a major role in RED. He's another character who gets his own POV at times. He's a rockstar, a confidant, brother, uncle, extremely hot...he's Jackson Caldwell!





Full Name: Jackson Gabriel Caldwell

Birth Date: January 19, 1990

Gender: Male

Age During RED: 36-38 years old

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Color: Black/Dark Brown

Height: 5'11

Weight: 168 lbs

Relatives: Taylor Caldwell (sister-deceased), Henry Caldwell (Father), Eva Caldwell (Mother), Kristen Caldwell (sister), Tyler Caldwell (brother-deceased), Mason Taylor (ex-brother in law), Peyton Hale Giordano (brother in law-deceased), Peyton Hayley Giordano (niece), Grayson Caldwell (son), Charli Caldwell (daughter)

Relationship Status: Single/Divorced

Interests/Hobbies: Singing, Guitar, Piano, Playing on stage with his band, Songwriting, Spending time with his family, Women, Recreational use of herbs (occasionally) 

Positive Character Traits: He's loving and would go to new heights to protect the ones he love. Jackson is the cool uncle/brother that everyone wants. He's very laid back and hates confrontation but he will fight if it comes to that. Jackson is/was Taylor's guardian angel on earth. 

Negative Character Traits: Sometimes he can be "too cool" and not make the right decisions. For example, there are times he was/is too lenient on his sister and niece. 

Choice Quote From RED: "Stop crying, forget your mistakes, and move on!"

So that's it for Jackson! For those of you who are familiar with him I hope this got you a little more excited to read about him in RED. For those of you who didn't know him until now, I hope you feel like you just met Jack for the first time. RED will be out this Winter (I get the edited manuscript back this week! Yay!) which means there is still time to catch up with A Tragic Heart. It's the first part to the RED Tragedies series, with RED being the second. Thanks for stopping by and getting to know the characters in my head. :-)

By the way, if Jackson was a song he'd be Radioactive by Imagine Dragons!




When Is Cheating A Good Idea?: Theme From RED

"Just remember that secrets are the foundation of a long relationship."-Alex Kinsley (RED)

Possibly the last theme I want to talk about from RED is the factor of cheating. Now, this theme doesn't tie into the others, it's more of a standalone but it's a MAJOR theme in the novel. There's cheating in every possible form all over the place from beginning to end (basically). Everyone has secrets and unacknowledged feelings that they have to deal with; just like real life it begins to affect their relationships with the people around them.

In some cases, cheating may seem like a good idea or the only option in order to be happy with someone (A Tragic Heart has a perfect example of this) but in reality it should never be an option. We think we find the one for us and then suddenly things take an ugly turn and we find ourselves in the arms of another. The worst part is that we tend to try and justify it. To tell you the truth, our justifications make sense a lot of the times but the truth is, cheating is always wrong. You're better off getting out of the relationship completely if you feel the need to go that far. Peyton experiences this a lot in RED.

"Alex is the debris that fills your lungs without you noticing until it's too late; he's the cancer in cigarettes, the side effects to painkillers. Ronan is crystal clear, he's the warmth you feel after coming inside from being in twenty degree weather, he's the answer to every riddle, he's the one...but for some reason I like to mix clarity with confusion. I like to mix my Ronan with a little bit of Alex."-Peyton Hayley Giordano (RED)

The quote above is the perfect example of what we think to ourselves when we know we're making a bad decision with someone while we're committed to another. We start to make charts and Vinn diagrams of pros and cons only to go ahead with our bad idea anyway. When you're stuck in a position like this it's easy to feel like you need both. Both give you something that you want and something that you feel like you need. You sometimes feel like you love both equally which makes you greedy and selfish. We tend to forget that we are hurting someone while we're indulging in another. In fact, we're probably hurting three people: the one your committed to, your lover on the side, and yourself. 

Cheating isn't always cheating on someone else, it's cheating on yourself. The characters in RED quickly learn that when they suffer for their actions and pay the consequences. Another thing they learn is that a person doesn't have to be physically there in order to have an affair. Mason has a hard time grasping that concept throughout the novel. Sometimes we aren't in physical relationships with another person but mentally and emotionally we are completely spoken for. 

"You can deny it all you want but the truth is the truth and it has an ugly way of coming out."-Alex Kinsley (RED)

When we engage ourselves with someone other than our significant other we tend to place ourselves in somewhere denial lives. What we're doing isn't that bad, the other person doesn't do things the way they used to, I'm not in love with this new person so it doesn't mean that much...the denial is never ending unless we confront it. One thing we can be certain of is that the truth will always come out somehow. It may take a while but it will reveal itself and it's usually in the most unattractive way possible. That's when the old saying, "you made your bed now lie in" comes into play.  This is one position you don't want to be in.

Hopefully after reading RED, you all will be able to make decisions with a clearer head. Hopefully cheating is a decision you decide not to make at all. If you're thinking about it, just wait until RED comes out and see how it works out for them...

Cheating isn't as upbeat and enjoyable as this song but you should take a listen anyway...



 

 

Love Who You Are: Theme From RED

"I guess in the end if you have to try that hard, it's no longer natural."-Mason Taylor (RED)

For the last lesson/theme from RED, I'll talk about loving who you are. After traveling along the hard and frustrating journey to get to this point, the only option you really have is to love who you are. Once you made your mistakes and learned from them, dropped your ego, learned to forgive, started over, found yourself, been judged and learned to stop judging, now it's time to love the person you worked so hard to become. 

After a while being who you once were no longer feels like a natural thing. You'll find yourself trying to fit in with others but something will always feel a little off about it. That's because you are someone new and it's time for you to embrace that someone. In RED, it takes a while for my characters to learn this but this is also a factor that doesn't happen overnight in reality. We're all a work in progress. When they came up with that overused and cliche of a quote, "the best/easiest person to be is yourself" they weren't lying. It's the only way to know who your true friends are and where you really belong in life. There comes a time when faking it just won't cut it anymore. You have to be real/true to yourself before you can be true to anyone else. 

"Acceptance is all it takes to be free."-Peyton Hayley Giordano (RED)

Fully accepting yourself is what loving who you are is all about. It doesn't mean that you'll always agree with the choices you make and you'll never regret a thing again, it just means that you are comfortable with who you are and you don't mind allowing people to get to know you just as you are. We're all imperfect but what Peyton says is true, "we are worthy". Imperfections does not equal being worthless. No one will ever be perfect but we can sure as hell love ourselves the way no one else will. We at least owe ourselves that after all that we've been through on that long, cold journey we had to take alone. If you don't love yourself by then, you probably never will. 

So, after battling through the storm and climbing mountains no one ever knew was even in your way, embrace yourself. Love who you've become because you worked hard enough to get there. No one deserves your love more than you! Just ask Peyton, Ronan, Adalyn, Mason, and Jackson after RED comes out this Winter! We're almost there... 

In the meantime here's a song about loving who you are:

 

Finding Yourself:Theme From RED

"I somehow managed to play the protagonist and the antagonist in this story"-Peyton Hayley Giordano (RED)

Last week I wrote about starting over after you already made those messy mistakes, dropped your ego and learned to forgive yourself and others. This week I want to talk about another major theme from RED: finding yourself. 

When you focus on starting over you have to also focus on finding yourself. After being dragged through the mud and experiencing disappointment after disappointment, you have to hit the restart button. Restarting also means that things are going to have to change. In the process of us being dragged by our hair while our face scraps against the cement we become someone different. We just have to find out who this person is. 

Finding yourself is critical in the process of starting over. If we don't gain a clear vision of who we are we'll just falter into another mess (and who wants that?). Not knowing who you are usually results in you falling for anything. Knowing who you are (and who you used to be) will help you stand firm in your beliefs, values, and follow the path ahead of you will little slip ups. 

In RED, Peyton is on a journey to find out who she is after never getting the chance to truly know her parents. All she has is her mother's journals and writings she kept on a flash drive to refer to. Her dad never got the chance to even know she was going to exist and her mom ended it all before she could even develop a memory. Most of us get the chance to learn who we are by reflecting back on how our parents were/are. Peyton never got that chance which makes her journey both difficult and interesting. She finds herself making many of her parents' mistakes but it's harder for her to deal with them because she has no idea her parents already went through it all. 

Peyton begins to find herself when she sees herself where she is. The quote above is her reflecting on her past behavior and mistakes after it all blows up in her face. This should sound familiar to most of us. We tend to find ourselves while we're attempting to start over after something blew up in our faces. It's almost like the wreck and disaster is what we needed to see clearly. While we're under water we finally make the decision to breathe. Peyton is no different. 

If you're currently in a situation that seems impossible, almost like you're drowning, I dare you to breathe. Open your lungs and learn something new; how to start over and find yourself in the process. Figure out what you learned and become the person you always wanted to be. Live like you're the person you want to be and soon you won't be acting anymore. We all make mistakes, we all have to learn when to drop our egos, we have to forgive ourselves along with others, we have to start over, and we have to find ourselves all over again. While you're becoming someone new you're going to get a lot of hate and judgment thrown at you but who cares? Well...judgment...that sounds like something I could talk about next week, doesn't it? Until then, keep on looking....

In the meantime listen to a song about finding yourself:

 

 

To Forgive Or Not To Forgive?: Theme From RED


"I closed the bedroom door behind me. I could feel her crying herself to sleep but I had no time for feeling sorry. She betrayed me and that wasn’t something I could easily forgive her for. I needed time to myself."-Mason (RED)

Forgiveness is a touchy subject but it's the topic I said I would talk about this week. Last week I talked about dropping your ego to become someone new and make a better life for yourself, and the week before that I talked about making mistakes and learning from them. These are all major themes in RED but forgiveness is probably one of the biggest.

As I mentioned before, my characters are far from perfect and they make tons of mistakes (maybe even more than the average person) which causes for a lot of forgiveness to take place. From the moment the novel starts, Peyton struggles with forgiving her mother for leaving her the way she did (readers of A Tragic Heart knows exactly what I mean). Mason and Adalyn has some obstacles to overcome within their marriage which means they both have to learn to forgive if they want to move on with their lives for themselves and for their family. Jackson (Peyton's uncle and Mason's ex-brother in law) also finds himself in the middle of a situation that requires forgiveness in order to move on. The same goes for Ronan.  

Forgiveness is something we all have  to learn. The truth is I'm not sure if forgiving is part of human nature. Our first instinct is never to forgive the person who wronged us or show grace towards them. When we feel betrayed our first instinct is to express anger and plot revenge. We have to train ourselves to forgive and love that person in spite of whatever it is they've done. The characters in RED struggle with the same issue.  Some of the issues seem unforgivable while others are a bit lighter to digest. 

“That’s not stupid, it’s called being young! You and Marcus had a hurtful history and it’s normal to want to find comfort in a person who caused you so much pain. Alex was a complete mistake and you have to forgive yourself for it. That’s the hardest part…forgiving yourself. Once you learn how to do that, you’ll be happy.”-Adalyn (RED)


Forgiving isn't always an action you have to show someone else. Sometimes we have to learn to forgive ourselves just as much as we have to learn to forgive another.  Forgiving ourselves sometimes mean we have to forget whatever it is that we've done and move on. It's not easy but we can't spend our entire lives dwelling on something that's in the past. After a while you're going to have to learn to pick yourself up and say "I forgive you" and keep it moving. Even if the person you wronged hasn't forgiven you yet, still, forgive yourself. You deserve it. This is something Peyton, Adalyn, and Mason must learn. As humans, we can do some pretty horrible things but that doesn't mean we have to punish ourselves forever. Forever is a long time and you deserve to be happy and guilt free for whatever remaining time you have left here. 

"She didn’t only humiliate me. She publicly humiliated me. How am I supposed to get past this? How am I supposed to forgive her? But mostly, how am I supposed to forget this?"-Ronan (RED

Some acts of betrayal are so terrible that we convince ourselves that there's no way we can ever forgive that person for doing what they did to us but the honest truth is that it isn't true at all. No matter how horrible the act or how much that person humiliated you, you can get over it and learn to forgive them. It doesn't  mean you have to be best friends again, it just means that you're no longer letting what they did consume your life or thoughts. You have better things to think about. Sometimes it feels impossible to forgive if you can't forget what happened but it gets easier with every day that goes by. It all takes time. We can't expect to be forgiven when we do something wrong if we can't forgive others when they wrong us. 

So today, I hope that you learn that whatever happened to you (or what you did to yourself) isn't the end of the world. Get up, forgive yourself or whoever turned their back on you, and move on. It's not the end of the world and life goes on whether you like or not, so why not make it a little more peaceful? Learn from your mistakes, drop your ego, and forgive so that you can start over. Start over...that sounds like a great topic for next week, eh?  

Here's a song that teaches us all about forgiveness...and love!




Sneak Peek of RED!

Today I am feeling very generous so I'm going to give you all a sneak peek on my upcoming novel, RED. It's the intro along with the first few pages. It's unedited so some things may change but I think it's a nice introduction to the novel. For those of you who read A Tragic Heart, you'll completely understand where this is taking off from. The rest you still have time to catch up, but for now I hope you enjoy it. So, here it is:





Intro
Red hair. Green eyes. Perfect Smile. Curves in the right places. I’m a knockout, but not only in the physical department. I’m a knockout at home, in school…in every aspect of my life. Poor Mason. I don’t mean to be so cruel but he’s not my dad…and Adalyn, she’s not my mother…and they never will be. My parents left me before I could even figure out who they were to me. My dad didn’t have much of a choice but my mother…she chose…she had a choice and I think that’s what hurts the most. The selfish bitch didn’t even love me enough to stay…who does that?
            Mason’s struggling through it all even after all of these years. I guess some things just leave a mark that can never heal. I feel bad for him, I really do, but it’s not enough. Adalyn tries to pretend she doesn’t notice but she sees it…she sees it every day       
            They try so hard to include me in everything…to make me part of the “family.” Mason spends more time on me than he does on his own children. Maybe because I need the attention more than they do?
            Lila’s their oldest. She’s nine and an honor student. In other words, she’s perfect and beautiful. Her eyes are just like Mason’s…captivating and piercing green. Ryan and Nick are fraternal twins. They’re two years younger than Lila and I don’t know how Mason and Adalyn did it, but they’re just as perfect as Lila…in school at least. Maybe I would’ve been perfect too if my parents were still here…or at least if my mom tried. But how can I be perfect when my parents were who they were?
            I’m far from black and white and I’m never shaded gray. I’m never blue and I can never be a pure white…I’m all red…always red.







 Peyton: Darkness
I walk into a dark, quiet house and slowly close the door behind me. I hear Marcus’s car pull off and I almost made it in without anyone noticing; or so I thought. Mason must’ve been waiting up for me because as soon as I turned around he was standing at the bottom of the staircase. I jumped a little since I was expecting to get away with it, but it’s not like it was the first time.
            “Oh, it’s you, you scared the hell out of me,” I said unfazed by him standing in front of me clearly unhappy.
            “I should, but evidently not enough,” he stated in a dry tone. “So you’re just gonna walk right past me and act like this didn’t just happen?”
“We can do that. It’s better than having the ‘talk’,” I said walking up the stairs. I’m surprised he let me get that far. This is a new record.
He follows me up and by the time he gets to the top of the stairs he roughly grabs me by the arm, forcing me to face him and look him in the eyes.
“You’re hurting me!” I say with a slightly raised voice.
“What is wrong with you? Why can’t you just listen? Where did I go wrong with you?” Mason asked. It was question after question.
He shook me a little after every sentence. I felt scared on the inside but on the outside I was ice.
“Mason, you’re hurting me! Get off!” I yelled loudly enough to cause Adalyn to get out of bed.
“What’s going on? Mason what are you doing?” she asked slightly awake and panicked.
“He’s hurting me!” I shout as I struggle to get away from his grasp.
“Mason let go of her! Calm down!” Adalyn softly yelled.
I was able to see the frustration in his eyes. It hurt me a little but I can’t let him see it.
“I try with you! I TRIED SO HARD!” he shouted with fury.
“Mason…Mason, calm down. Let her go and calm down!” Adalyn practically begged.
After a few seconds he did as she said. I wanted to say something but I was at a loss for words. I’ve seen Mason angry a number of times but I never thought he could be that way towards me. We argue and it’s frequent but I’ve never seen him so…tired.
“It’s alright, you need rest,” Adalyn said to Mason as she rubbed his shoulder.
She loved him, more than anything. She loves him the way I hope to love someone someday…the way I want someone to love me.
            I looked to my right to see Lila rubbing her eyes and slowly walking towards us. The commotion must have woken her up out of her sleep.
“Hey, Lila, what’s wrong?” I asked softly.
“I heard yelling and I thought I was having a bad dream,” she said quietly.
“No, sweetie, your daddy and Peyton was just talking loud, that’s all. Go back to bed,” Adalyn intervened. She took Lila’s hand and led her down the hall. “Come on, let’s go back to bed.”
As Adalyn walked Lila back to her room, Mason and I stood in the hallway by the top of the staircase in silence for a few seconds.
“No more late nights. No more going out without permission. This has to stop Peyton,” he said in a low and calm voice.
“I’ll try,” I replied back coldly.
“No, don’t try, do it. Besides, you’re not setting a good example for your cousins,” he said more stern.
“They’re not my kids so what do you care…and I don’t need you to tell me what’s good and what’s not. I know right from wrong.”
I could tell it hurt him and I know he wants to give up on me…he might as well, everyone else has.  I honestly don’t understand why he tries so hard with me. I’m not that important. I feel like part of him believes that by saving me, he’s saving my mother and father. I wish he’d understand that they’re gone and can never come back. I’m not them and never will be.
            I walked to my room, it’s big and spacious, and…me. The walls are red and it’s always dark. There’s a guitar and keyboard in one corner and drums in the other. I even have my own bathroom, so I never have to wait for anyone else. Mason always made sure I had the best of everything and he always went above and beyond. There are times I believe he cares for me more than he cares for his own children. I think he forgets that I’m not his daughter but I always remember that he’s not my father.

            Mid thoughts I undress and walk to my bathroom turning on the shower water. I hated who I was but I don’t know how to be someone else. I hate to see myself in the mirror because I only see the face of a person I never met. I already have his name but God didn’t think that was enough. He decided to give me something extra, so he gave me his same eyes, hair, and facial features. I place my hands over my face trying to block out the thought. Daddy, how come you couldn’t stay long enough for me to at least touch you? Its torture to hear the stories about how great he was and how I’m so much like him and he never even got the chance to touch me. He never knew I existed…or was going to exist.

            A tear fell from my eye and I quickly wiped it away. I’m not a crier and I wasn’t going to become one now. No sense in crying over a man I never even met before.

            I kept my shower short and got ready for bed. I hated the feeling of wet hair against my skin but I was too tired to dry it tonight. I changed into a tank top and some shorts. As soon as I lied in the bed my phone began to vibrate. The name Marcus appeared across my screen and I rolled my eyes before answering it. What could he possibly want at 4:17 on a Saturday morning; besides I was just with him.

“Hello,” I answered sounding completely unenthused.

“I thought you’d be happier to hear from me considering our night,” he said sounding like a complete jerk.

Marcus is an attractive guy but he doesn’t really understand the concept of respect. He lacks everything that a girl really wants but he’s good enough for me at the moment. We’re not dating or in an exclusive relationship and I like it that way. He’s just one of a few. He’s not my first and he won’t be my last.

“Our night wasn’t that great,” I said dryly into the phone.

“That’s not what you were saying while you were--,” I cut him off before he could finish. I don’t know why I continue this with him.

“What do you want? Why did you call me?” I asked abruptly.

“I just wanted to hear your voice before going to bed.”

“Well, you heard it. Goodnight,” I said ready to hang up.

“Wait! So that’s it? This is what you do? You give a guy a great night and then walk away?”

Honestly, it was all that I was used to since I was fifteen. It’s only been a year but a lot can happen in a year.

“It’s not like you want anything more from me,” I said in a ‘matter of fact’ tone.

“How do you know that?”

“Because boys never want anything more.”

I think the worst part is that I believed this.

“Not all boys,” he informed me.

“Just all the ones that I’ve known…and you’re one of them.”

The line was silent for a few seconds. I wondered what he was thinking.

“Maybe I want more,” he said lowly.

I thought about it for a while and within a few seconds I saw how miserable I could be in a relationship with him. On the other hand, I thought maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. It was too late…or maybe too early to think about such heavy concepts.

“I don’t know Marcus,” I said honestly.
As I turned over on my side, I winced when my arm touched the cold sheets. I sat up a bit and touched my arm. Mason must have bruised it when he grabbed me. My skin bruises easily and he held his grip for a long time. I can’t believe I made him that angry. He never touched me like that before. Mason always refused to lay a hand on me or even yell at me. He was more of a talker…at least when it came to me. He always acted as if I was this precious jewel that needs to be kept safe. When I was a kid he used to act as if I was a rare porcelain doll that may break into a million pieces if I fell or accidentally hurt myself. I smile at the thought of being young and carefree. Back then, Mason was the highlight of my day and mommy and daddy was happy in heaven. How was I more content with such a haunting thought when I was much younger? I thought the older we get the better we handle our problems.

It was too much to think about for now and I really just wanted to sleep. If my mind started to race, I would never be able to close my eyes.

Character profile for RED: Mason Taylor

Here we go again! It's another month which means that another character profile for my novel RED is due. As you all know, RED is still in the editing phase and it's going to take a couple of months. I won't receive the manuscript back until December 1st and even then I still have some editing of the book cover along with working things out with the publishing company so RED won't be out until the Winter of 2015. Until then, I will have a character profile uploaded every month until the release month so you all can get a proper introduction to all of the characters. There are some old characters that resurfaces from A Tragic Heart along with a lot of new faces!

This month's character profile is for a character some of you have come to know and love (and sometimes hate). I reintroduce to you, Mason Taylor:

Young Mason 
Mason as he would appear in RED 

Full Name: Mason Dale Taylor

Birth Date: May 4, 1992

Gender: Male

Age During RED: 34-36 years old

Eye Color: Green

Hair Color: Black 

Height: 6'1 

Weight: 202 lbs

Relatives: Adalyn Voyvodich-Taylor (Wife), Jean Taylor (Mother), Brian Taylor (Father), Peyton Hale Giordano (Cousin-Deceased), Cathleen Taylor-Giordano (Aunt-Deceased), Peyton Hayley Giordano (Cousin/Adopted Daughter), Taylor Caldwell (Ex-Wife-Deceased), Jackson Caldwell (Ex-Brother-in-law), Lila Taylor (Daughter), Nick Taylor (Son), Ryan Taylor (Son)

Relationship Status: Married 

Interests/Hobbies: Writing & Basketball

Positive Character Traits: Mason is very loving and accepting. He doesn't like to give up on people he truly cares about and he would die for the ones he love. He is full of compassion and protects his family at all costs.

Negative Character Traits: He can be stubborn at times and he has a bit of a short fuse. There are times he is quick to anger and he can be sarcastic at times. 

Choice Quote from RED: "In reality, I had no idea what I was waiting for but I just knew that the time wasn't right."

And that's the end of Mason's character profile. I hope you all feel a little closer to him but if not make sure you check out RED when it is released this Winter. For those of you who have no idea who Mason is, you can still check out A Tragic Heart before RED is released to get to know about him and his past. Until next time...

By the way, if Mason was a song he would be "Dare You To Move" by Switchfoot.