Clothes for Charity

Recently I created a Teespring account. For a long time I've wanted to create an apparel line that would donate a portion of profits to a suicide prevention charity. Well, now I've done it!

The quote on the shirt comes from a poem I wrote a few months back. It's a reminder for anyone who feels less than worthy because of doubters in their life. What I've come to find true is that most of the time the doubters and non-believers are our own family and friends, not just our foes. The apparel ranges from t-shirts, long sleeve shirts, hoodies, tank tops, totes, and mugs.  The campaign will run for 22 days only and 25% of all profits will go to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention!

I wanted something that would honor those who once felt the way we all have and ended it based on that false belief. I will do more campaigns like this in the future. Let's hope for a successful campaign! It ends on January 16th!

Raise A Glass Campaign Apparel

Tears of a Clown (R.I.P. Robin Williams)

"You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it." Robin Williams

I think it's safe to say we all felt like someone kicked us in the gut when we found out the news about Robin Williams passing away. It wasn't expected and a lot people didn't think it would feel like it hit so close to home. My night was ruined when I heard the news because I couldn't shake that heavy feeling and nothing seemed normal. How do you feel this way over someone you didn't even know? Someone you never met? The answer is: Robin Williams gave us all a piece of his madness and while we laughed and thanked him, he was hurting. Do you feel guilty yet?

Of course there was no way of us knowing what he was feeling but the idea alone that he was feeling it enough to end his own life is tragic in itself. He was a good guy and he had a big heart. Most of all, he should be here right now but he isn't because of something most people can't even begin to understand. Depression is evil. Point blank.

While most are mourning this loss, some are criticizing his actions. Those who are obviously has no idea what it's like to be that down and depressed. Depression is like carrying a car on your back that just keeps getting heavier and heavier everyday until the thought of being in any other position seems better...even if that position is lying on your back six feet under. No one has the right to criticize Robin for what he was feeling. No one.

We all know what hard times are and we've all been sad for days but in the words of one of my favorite male vocalist, Patrick Stump, "Depression is something that they just don't teach." No one gives a guidebook on how to deal with depression and those little pamphlets at the doctor's office are much too generalized to help. Everyone's depression is different which means that depression is something that we can't teach. The only thing we have is hope that things will get better but if we're not careful, depression will snatch that away too. That's exactly what happened to Mr. Williams. Depression snatched his hope away and I'm so sorry it did because there were new memories he was supposed to create with his family and friends. There were new movies he was set to star in and continue to make history. He had a lot more inspiring to do but depression cut it short.

I thought maybe if he knew how much the world appreciated him and how much he was loved maybe he would have stayed. Maybe he would have fought through the feeling. Then I remembered what that feeling felt like and that thought doesn't help at all. Depression doesn't allow you to feel loved or even think that you are. Depression is designed to be a killer just like any other disease; but just like any other disease, it's not the medicine that works, it's a spark. 

It's a spark of madness that we all have to fight and to live. It's a spark of hope, even if it is the last of it. What Mr. Williams didn't know is that he still had his spark, it was just buried deep somewhere inside. I'm sure it seemed impossible to find, but it was there nonetheless. It was in all of his movies and even if he was just "acting" happy, it was there in his personality. See, when he said we mustn't lose our little spark of madness, the thing about it is we can't. We can't lose it because we're born with it. That spark is who we are and it's inside of everyone. Some people just need to do more digging to find it.

Anyone born in the late '70s, the 80s, and 90s always known Robin Williams to be the hero and the funny guy. He was the center of most our childhood films that we loved so much. To those late 70s and 80s kids he was Popeye and a teacher who taught his students about passion and poetry. To us 90s kids he was a genie who granted wishes, a babysitter, and someone who fought creatures and obstacles as a result of a board game coming to life.It's kind of like when you look back he was there all the time. That's why this one hit so close to home. Whether we knew him or not he was a part of us and our childhood. Who feels like their childhood has just committed suicide? I do. 

When I told my mother the news she was upset like everyone else and the first thing she said was "Tears of a clown." Of course, naturally I thought of the 1970's, Smokey Robinson song of the same name but thinking about it, the song is just too relevant right now. Smokey basically said that no one cares about the tears of a clown; but Mr. Williams we all cared...

Thanks for your spark. Rest In Peace.

Silly Agents! Self Harm is for Emos!

"All the writers keep writing what they write
Somewhere another pretty vein just dies
I've got the scars from tomorrow and I wish you could see
That you’re the antidote to everything except for me"

The last time I posted a blog it was about literary agents and their lack of diversity when it comes to accepting manuscripts. If you didn't already know, I published my first novel, A Tragic Heart through Amazon's CreateSpace and now I am seeking representation. Well, I've already been rejected over 20 times even though every reader of A Tragic Heart agrees that the novel is more than worthy of the public's attention. My reason for being rejected so many times is solely based on marketing.

Marketing. Such an ugly word that every writer must learn or either pull the plug on your career.  I've received so many rejection letters via email because agents believe that books that touches upon self-harm and suicide doesn't really have a market. They believe there's no way to promote it. Hahahaha! I'm seriously laughing at them and their uneducated ignorant minds! Have these people never heard of Fall Out Boy or Paramore? Better yet, have they never heard of one of the biggest charity organization that goes by the name To Write Love On Her Arms? The whole freaking organization is a suicide prevention charity! Yet, they say that there's no market!

The topic of self-harm and suicide is an untapped market mostly because everyone is too afraid to go there. No one ever speaks about these issues so it seems like everything's fine. The truth is we all know someone who either self harms or contemplated suicide at one point in their lives. In some cases, that person is us but no one talks about it so the common belief is that majority of us are okay. We're not.

Did you know statistically speaking that every one of us has thought about suicide as an option? If this is true, why don't we speak about it? I'll tell you why, because the world is afraid of anything that isn't sunshine and rainbows. Not everything is a love story, not everything is a mystery or a horror. A true writer writes what they feel and what others are afraid to even think. That's what makes writing good. Some things need to be spoken about. 

The common belief that books about suicide, self harm, and drugs are only for emos is a myth! If it's marketing that these agents fear, then maybe they should quit their jobs because who wants to live in a box full of misconceptions and ignorance? Well, thinking twice, maybe some of them do...

I don't mean to make suicide or self harm a marketing scheme but to say that theoretically no one would care to read books about these topics unless they're for medical research is absurd! I'm sure parents of children who struggle with these issues would love to understand what their children are going through or what they may be thinking on a day to day basis. Heck! Even brothers, sisters, aunts, and uncles of these people would like to gain a better understanding. 

Growing up I felt like no one understood me (actually I feel like this now on a daily basis) and maybe if there were more books available that talked about these things, the people around me would have started to question their misconceptions about me. The world has learned to label anyone struggling with these issues as "attention seekers". No one ever thinks to say something or try to dig a little deeper. 

We're always told that "we think it's all about us" and that "it's not how the world works". Do you honestly believe we want all of that attention? Why would we want the world to revolve around us when all it would do is turn us into an even bigger freak show?

I thank writers like Ellen Hopkins, Jay Asher, Cheryl Rainfield for writing about real issues and not being afraid. I also thank the public for turning them into bestselling authors, proving those literary agents wrong when they say there is no market for such things. If their success isn't proof enough for you, then you remain ignorant.

Just search the hashtags #selfharm, #suicide, #emo, and #cutter on Twitter and Instagram, then tell me what you find. Shocking right? Now if you add #depressed, #scars, and #nohope to the list your heart may break. No one caters to them because everyone is looking from a business standpoint and us emos aren't included. We don't matter. Our "market" isn't big enough to be addressed. 

There are millions and they don't deserve to be noticed for marketing reasons or money, they deserve to be noticed because they should know that it can be better and whatever they do affects everyone else around them. By ignoring their "market" you are essentially ignoring them. 

A Tragic Heart isn't all about self harm and suicide attempts. It's much more than that. There a love story, humor, and depictions of everyday life for teenagers and young adults. It goes beyond a young adult novel and crosses over to adult fiction. It's something in it for everyone and it shouldn't be aimed at a market. It's for anyone who has ever felt anything at all.

Sexual abuse happens (just ask the brave and beautiful red head, Rachel Thompson) so it should be talked about. Drug addiction and teen prostitution take over lives, just talk to Ellen Hopkins about it. Suicide hurts...Jay Asher gets that.

Sexual abuse happens to more than a market of people. Drug addiction isn't something only felt by the underprivileged. Teen prostitution doesn't only touch those involved. Self harm and suicide isn't only for emos.

"Wearing our vintage misery
No, I think it looked a little better on me......"So broke our spirit, " says the note we pass"