Ronan: It's Always Her... (Short Story #8)

It's been a while since I graced my blog with a short story based on my book series, The RED Tragedies series (aka A Tragic Heart Series), so I'm giving you a new one I actually wrote almost a month ago but never posted it. This one is from Ronan's POV, and if it was part of a book it would fit with RED (Book 2). It jumps into the future and shows Ronan as a grown man with a career and life of his own. Here's the link to the last short story: Peyton Hayley: No Need To Catch Me (I'm Not Falling)

Listen to "I Hope You Find It" by Miley Cyrus on repeat while reading:

Ronan: It’s Always Her…

            I’m lying next to a girl I barely even know. I shot her a few times for the cover of various popular magazines but that’s about it. Lately this has been my life. Girls come and go because none of them can match my first love. She happened eight years ago and she remains a friend but I can’t help but think that she’s my true one. 

            We ended when we were seventeen years old after a huge scandal broke loose that she was sleeping with a famous rockstar, Alex Kinsley who was eight years her senior. He got booted from his band and his career took a beating all before she found him dead from a drug overdose in his multimillion dollar home. What did she get out of it? A hot music career that looks like it won’t sink anytime soon. 

            Being that we decided to pick up our friendship after Alex’s death, I became her go to photographer. She uses me for everything from album covers, appearances to magazine shootings; the only thing she won’t use me for is love. Even after all the wrong she’s done and the pain she’s caused me, inside I still love her. That will never change but for some reason I fight the feeling.

            “What are you thinking about?” Adriana asks as she runs her fingers through my hair. She’s the model I photographed today for the next issue of Vogue. I invited her out for drinks and the rest you can come up with yourself.

            “Nothing really. Just how beautiful those photos came out. You’re gorgeous,” I lie rolling onto my side and kissing her neck. She laughs and buys into the lie I just told. I couldn’t tell her that I was really thinking about my ex from high school who I still hang with every once in a while.

            “How come a nice and hot guy like you don’t have a steady girlfriend? What’s wrong with you, huh?” she asks playfully. “Are you really a serial killer or something?”

            “Yeah, that’s totally it,” I reply with a smile. “Seriously, though, I have no idea. I guess I just haven’t met the right girl.”

            Truth is I have met the right girl, our happiness is just stuck in the past somewhere frozen in time. I remember when she asked for me back after Alex died and her life was getting back together. I declined and told her I could never go there with her again. Now I’m not so sure if that was the right decision.

            We remained good friends and talk about anything we feel the need to. I’ve witness a few guys come and go out of her life and she had a share of heartbreaks after Alex but it was nothing she couldn’t handle. Truth is I’m not so sure she ever got over me either. The good news is she’s more stable than she was when we got together.

            Peyton was a broken a girl. She had no parents and was raised by her dad’s closest cousin, his wife and her uncle. Her father died in a car accident when he was only 17 and her mom commit suicide shortly after because of it. Basically, she never had a fair chance. When we got together I thought I’d be the one to fix her and I did for a while…but I wasn’t enough. Peyton always aimed for something a little more risky. 

            She took everything from me. My virginity, my heart, my ability to love another; it’s all gone because of her. 

            “I’m going to jump in the shower for a while…you’re welcomed to join me,” Adriana says with a smirk before climbing out of bed. 

            I told her I’m okay for now as she closed the bathroom door behind her. I picked up my phone from the night stand next to me and saw I had a new text message. 

            “I have this really cool idea for a photoshoot. Call me so we can talk about it.”

     Thinking of the devil. Of course I would call her. In fact, I couldn’t wait to hear her voice. I replied to her text saying, “Busy right now but I’ll contact you later. Maybe we can talk about it over dinner?”

     For some reason I felt nervous, sort of like I was asking her out on a date. She immediately texts me back telling me that dinner is okay and tomorrow night would be good for her. I smile to myself and put my phone down. I can’t wait to see her again. It’s been months since we’ve last spoke in person. 

            I get out of bed and decide to join Adriana in the shower. It wouldn’t be a good idea to be hung up on Peyton for the rest of the night when I had a beautiful model in my shower. Before I head in the bathroom I hear my phone go off again like I had another message. I double back and check it only to see a message from Peyton.

            “Can’t wait to see you. Feels like it’s been ages. Maybe we can hang a little more this week since I’m in town for a while…you know, just us old friends and a lot of catching up?”

            Of course I agree to it. Here we go again…

                        To be continued…

Don't forget to pick up your copy of RED and the rest of the series here: http://www.amazon.com/S.-Elle-Cameron/e/B00FNI34X4/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_pop_1 

 

To Forgive Or Not To Forgive?: Theme From RED

"I closed the bedroom door behind me. I could feel her crying herself to sleep but I had no time for feeling sorry. She betrayed me and that wasn’t something I could easily forgive her for. I needed time to myself."-Mason (RED)

Forgiveness is a touchy subject but it's the topic I said I would talk about this week. Last week I talked about dropping your ego to become someone new and make a better life for yourself, and the week before that I talked about making mistakes and learning from them. These are all major themes in RED but forgiveness is probably one of the biggest.

As I mentioned before, my characters are far from perfect and they make tons of mistakes (maybe even more than the average person) which causes for a lot of forgiveness to take place. From the moment the novel starts, Peyton struggles with forgiving her mother for leaving her the way she did (readers of A Tragic Heart knows exactly what I mean). Mason and Adalyn has some obstacles to overcome within their marriage which means they both have to learn to forgive if they want to move on with their lives for themselves and for their family. Jackson (Peyton's uncle and Mason's ex-brother in law) also finds himself in the middle of a situation that requires forgiveness in order to move on. The same goes for Ronan.  

Forgiveness is something we all have  to learn. The truth is I'm not sure if forgiving is part of human nature. Our first instinct is never to forgive the person who wronged us or show grace towards them. When we feel betrayed our first instinct is to express anger and plot revenge. We have to train ourselves to forgive and love that person in spite of whatever it is they've done. The characters in RED struggle with the same issue.  Some of the issues seem unforgivable while others are a bit lighter to digest. 

“That’s not stupid, it’s called being young! You and Marcus had a hurtful history and it’s normal to want to find comfort in a person who caused you so much pain. Alex was a complete mistake and you have to forgive yourself for it. That’s the hardest part…forgiving yourself. Once you learn how to do that, you’ll be happy.”-Adalyn (RED)

Forgiving isn't always an action you have to show someone else. Sometimes we have to learn to forgive ourselves just as much as we have to learn to forgive another.  Forgiving ourselves sometimes mean we have to forget whatever it is that we've done and move on. It's not easy but we can't spend our entire lives dwelling on something that's in the past. After a while you're going to have to learn to pick yourself up and say "I forgive you" and keep it moving. Even if the person you wronged hasn't forgiven you yet, still, forgive yourself. You deserve it. This is something Peyton, Adalyn, and Mason must learn. As humans, we can do some pretty horrible things but that doesn't mean we have to punish ourselves forever. Forever is a long time and you deserve to be happy and guilt free for whatever remaining time you have left here. 

"She didn’t only humiliate me. She publicly humiliated me. How am I supposed to get past this? How am I supposed to forgive her? But mostly, how am I supposed to forget this?"-Ronan (RED) 

Some acts of betrayal are so terrible that we convince ourselves that there's no way we can ever forgive that person for doing what they did to us but the honest truth is that it isn't true at all. No matter how horrible the act or how much that person humiliated you, you can get over it and learn to forgive them. It doesn't  mean you have to be best friends again, it just means that you're no longer letting what they did consume your life or thoughts. You have better things to think about. Sometimes it feels impossible to forgive if you can't forget what happened but it gets easier with every day that goes by. It all takes time. We can't expect to be forgiven when we do something wrong if we can't forgive others when they wrong us. 

So today, I hope that you learn that whatever happened to you (or what you did to yourself) isn't the end of the world. Get up, forgive yourself or whoever turned their back on you, and move on. It's not the end of the world and life goes on whether you like or not, so why not make it a little more peaceful? Learn from your mistakes, drop your ego, and forgive so that you can start over. Start over...that sounds like a great topic for next week, eh?  

Here's a song that teaches us all about forgiveness...and love!