It's been since October that I've written a short story (remember those?!). I missed writing short stories on my characters from the A Tragic Heart series. I believe this series will always be my favorite and the characters will always be the most real to me which is why I write little blurbs about them...so I never have to let them go.
As promised, this one is a continuation to the last one and it's from Ronan's point of view. Clearly it would belong with the second novel, RED and jumps eight years into the future (from where RED left off). You can check out the first part to the story here: Ronan: It's Always Her...
Listen to "Close To You" by Rihanna on repeat while reading to get the full experience:
Ronan: It’s Always
Her (Continued)
There
she was. Sitting across from me in an expensive restaurant in Los Angeles just
talking away. She had a smile painted across her face as she spoke and her red
hair was now dyed blonde; a new look is what she called it. She looked
beautiful…even more beautiful than I could remember. Adulthood looked good on
her and it was clear that she was far from that high school girl who broke my
heart way back when.
She
went on about her idea for the photoshoot she wanted to collaborate with me on.
For the most part it sounded like a good idea but I couldn’t really tell you
because I wasn’t listening much. I just kept thinking about how she was the
most beautiful girl in the room…in the world. Just a few days ago I was with a
gorgeous model in my bedroom and now here I am with my high school lover and
thinking about just how unattractive that model was compared to her. She has no
idea.
“Enough
about work,” I interrupted her as I reached across the table and grabbed her
hands. Her nails were painted black and her skin was smooth. “How have you
been, Peyton?”
She
gave me a smirk before answering, it was almost a blush. “I’ve been great,
actually. I’m in a really good place and things just keep getting better. I
never thought I’d say that but…here I am,” she replied.
“That’s
good. You seem really happy,” I responded with a little disappointment in my
tone. I was happy that she was happy but there was a part of me that wanted her
to confess that she missed me. I wanted her to say that she still needed me
even though we’ve been apart for eight years.
“Before
coming here I got to spend time with Mason and the rest of the family. The kids
are getting so big…they’re not even kids anymore. Can you believe that?!” she
asked. “Lila’s going to be starting college soon!”
Lila’s
her baby cousin. Mason is her dad’s first cousin who took her in after both her
parents died while she was still a baby. For her, his kids are basically her
little sister and brothers.
“That’s
crazy. Time really does fly. Who would’ve thought we’d be here? A lot has
happened,” I said taking on a slightly tighter grip onto her hands.
“It
really has. I can’t even keep up anymore,” she basically mumbled.
Before
I could say another word the waiter came and interrupted us asking if we were
ready to order. She wasn’t sure what she wanted so I ordered for the both of
us. I told her not to worry she’ll love it and she responded with a “you always
knew me so well.”
We
talked more over dinner, mostly about work and how I would make her vision come
to life. She loved my input and told me this is why I’m her go to person for
things like this. We make a great team. If only she knew what that truly means
to me. It’s crazy how she was the one to hurt me so I let her go but I’m the
one longing for her again. Most people will say I’m insane but they’re
obviously the ones who never met Peyton Hayley Giordano.
She
suggested we go back to my condo where I have an in house studio. She wanted to
get a visual of how things will be set up. Of course I wouldn’t object to it.
She’s always welcomed in my home. Aside from being my ex she’s also one of my
oldest friends. Nothing will ever change that.
We
walked inside together and I offered her a drink. She declined. All she wanted
was for me to show her to the studio so I did.
“I have
an idea,” she announced.
I
lifted my head to look at her, letting her know she had my attention. “What is
it?” I asked.
“Let’s
do things a little differently. I want a photoshoot tonight. Just on a whim
kind of thing. All natural,” she replied.
“Okay.
Let me get my camera set up,” I said about to walk out of the room before she
stopped me.
“Here’s
the catch!” she said staring at me biting her bottom lip.
“Go
on,” I urged curiously.
“I want
to be nude. Nothing covered. All natural, like I said. No retouches, nothing
but my natural self.”
I was
speechless. “Peyton-“
“I
wanted a shoot like this for a while and I could’ve asked anyone but I wanted
you to do it. I mean, who better than you? You’ve already seen the package.”
“That
was years ago,” I replied. “It’s different now.”
“Are
you seeing someone?” she asked.
“No.
Not really,” I responded quickly.
“Then
what’s the problem?”
The
problem was I was still in love with her and seeing her that naked will definitely send me over the edge.
I couldn’t tell her that though.
“I’ll
go get my camera.”
When I
came back she started to undress slowly. I watched her take off every piece of
clothing and I wanted to forget about the photoshoot. I just wanted her.
“Ready?”
I asked not able to take my eyes off of her.
“As
ready as I can be,” she said pushing her newly blonde hair out of her face.
We took
shots on the bed, the shower, my balcony…almost everywhere. Not once did she
feel uncomfortable. The photos came out beautiful. She was just about to start
putting her clothes back on when I said something to get her attention.
“What
if I didn’t want you to put those back on just yet?” I asked boldly.
She
stopped and stared for a bit so I walked closer to her. She didn’t make a move.
She seemed shocked.
“Roe,
what are you saying?” she asked as I ran my fingers up and down her arm. I
always loved the softness of her skin.
“I’m
saying that I still have feelings for you and I can’t let you leave me
tonight…not like this.”
“Roe-I
don’t think-“
I cut
her off with a kiss. She pulled back but before she could interrupt I kissed
her again. This time she let it happen. She let her panties drop out of her
hands and wrapped her arms around my waist. I guess this was happening on my
balcony in the middle of the night. Let’s just hope paparazzi didn’t follow us
here…
Don't forget to pick up your copy of RED and the rest of the series here: A Tragic Heart Series
It's been a while since I graced my blog with a short story based on my book series, The RED Tragedies series (aka A Tragic Heart Series), so I'm giving you a new one I actually wrote almost a month ago but never posted it. This one is from Ronan's POV, and if it was part of a book it would fit with RED (Book 2). It jumps into the future and shows Ronan as a grown man with a career and life of his own. Here's the link to the last short story: Peyton Hayley: No Need To Catch Me (I'm Not Falling)
Listen to "I Hope You Find It" by Miley Cyrus on repeat while reading:
Ronan:
It’s Always Her…
I’m
lying next to a girl I barely even know. I shot her a few times for the cover
of various popular magazines but that’s about it. Lately this has been my life.
Girls come and go because none of them can match my first love. She happened
eight years ago and she remains a friend but I can’t help but think that she’s
my true one.
We
ended when we were seventeen years old after a huge scandal broke loose that
she was sleeping with a famous rockstar, Alex Kinsley who was eight years her
senior. He got booted from his band and his career took a beating all before
she found him dead from a drug overdose in his multimillion dollar home. What
did she get out of it? A hot music career that looks like it won’t sink anytime
soon.
Being
that we decided to pick up our friendship after Alex’s death, I became her go
to photographer. She uses me for everything from album covers, appearances to
magazine shootings; the only thing she won’t use me for is love. Even after all
the wrong she’s done and the pain she’s caused me, inside I still love her.
That will never change but for some reason I fight the feeling.
“What
are you thinking about?” Adriana asks as she runs her fingers through my hair.
She’s the model I photographed today for the next issue of Vogue. I invited her
out for drinks and the rest you can come up with yourself.
“Nothing
really. Just how beautiful those photos came out. You’re gorgeous,” I lie
rolling onto my side and kissing her neck. She laughs and buys into the lie I
just told. I couldn’t tell her that I was really thinking about my ex from high
school who I still hang with every once in a while.
“How
come a nice and hot guy like you don’t have a steady girlfriend? What’s wrong
with you, huh?” she asks playfully. “Are you really a serial killer or
something?”
“Yeah,
that’s totally it,” I reply with a smile. “Seriously, though, I have no idea. I
guess I just haven’t met the right girl.”
Truth
is I have met the right girl, our happiness is just stuck in the past somewhere
frozen in time. I remember when she asked for me back after Alex died and her
life was getting back together. I declined and told her I could never go there
with her again. Now I’m not so sure if that was the right decision.
We
remained good friends and talk about anything we feel the need to. I’ve witness
a few guys come and go out of her life and she had a share of heartbreaks after
Alex but it was nothing she couldn’t handle. Truth is I’m not so sure she ever
got over me either. The good news is she’s more stable than she was when we got
together.
Peyton
was a broken a girl. She had no parents and was raised by her dad’s closest
cousin, his wife and her uncle. Her father died in a car accident when he was
only 17 and her mom commit suicide shortly after because of it. Basically, she
never had a fair chance. When we got together I thought I’d be the one to fix
her and I did for a while…but I wasn’t enough. Peyton always aimed for
something a little more risky.
She
took everything from me. My virginity, my heart, my ability to love another;
it’s all gone because of her.
“I’m
going to jump in the shower for a while…you’re welcomed to join me,” Adriana
says with a smirk before climbing out of bed.
I
told her I’m okay for now as she closed the bathroom door behind her. I picked
up my phone from the night stand next to me and saw I had a new text message.
“I have this
really cool idea for a photoshoot. Call me so we can talk about it.”
Thinking
of the devil. Of course I would call her. In fact, I couldn’t wait to hear her
voice. I replied to her text saying, “Busy right now but I’ll contact you
later. Maybe we can talk about it over dinner?”
For
some reason I felt nervous, sort of like I was asking her out on a date. She
immediately texts me back telling me that dinner is okay and tomorrow night
would be good for her. I smile to myself and put my phone down. I can’t wait to
see her again. It’s been months since we’ve last spoke in person.
I get
out of bed and decide to join Adriana in the shower. It wouldn’t be a good idea
to be hung up on Peyton for the rest of the night when I had a beautiful model
in my shower. Before I head in the bathroom I hear my phone go off again like I
had another message. I double back and check it only to see a message from
Peyton.
“Can’t wait
to see you. Feels like it’s been ages. Maybe we can hang a little more this
week since I’m in town for a while…you know, just us old friends and a lot of
catching up?”
It's been a while since I wrote a short story based on the characters from my book series (RED Tragedies aka A Tragic Heart series) but tonight I'm giving you another short story. This one is from the POV of Peyton Hayley (Peyton and Taylor's daughter). If it were to fit into a book it would be part ofRED (Book 2). It's a short scene between her, Alex and Jackson.
Listen to "Throwing Punches" by Paramore on repeat while reading:
Peyton
Hayley: No Need to Catch Me (I’m Not Falling)
I lie
across Alex’s bed stuffing strawberries into my mouth as we talked about
nothing important. I was in one of his t-shirts that met just at my thighs and
his hand rested just above my knee. It’s hard to pay attention to anything he’s
saying because I can only think about how much I’ve missed him. We were forced
to stay away from each other by almost everyone. My uncle, Jackson, forbid us
to be together mostly because I was 17 and he was 25 and he claims he knows
Alex better than I ever would; but I know that’s not true. They may have been
close friends but Alex has shown me parts of him that no one else was ever able
to see. Now that I’m 18, there’s nothing stopping us from being together.
I
stop him in the middle of his sentence with a kiss. He responds just as I want
him to and before I know it the strawberries I was eating were scattered on the
floor while he was on top of me. It didn’t get too out of hand, mostly because
it never got the chance to. We were interrupted by the doorbell.
“Ignore
it,” I urge pulling him into another kiss. He obeys and we’re both acting as if
we’re afraid to part.
The
way Alex and I started wasn’t exactly applauded. I was underage and he was a
major rockstar. I had a faithful and charming boyfriend and he was a good
friend of my very famous uncle. We were a recipe for disaster. So many things
were sacrificed for us to be together but the only thing that matters is that
we are together. Age was never an issue for either of us. Since that kiss in
his car when I was 16, I knew somewhere deep down we would be together along
the road. It was only a matter of time and growing up. We vowed to wait until I
was 18 to go any further but that didn’t happen…we couldn’t keep our hands off
of each other and I’m glad we didn’t. Everything had to fall apart so they can
fall together.
“I’m
so glad I have you,” he whispered in my ear before lightly tugging on my
earlobes. I giggled before kissing him on his neck. I was just about to kiss
his lips again until the doorbell rang once more.
He
looked me in the eyes and told me not to lose the feeling because he’d be right
back. I roll my eyes as he gets up and walks out of the room.
“Might
as well clean up these strawberries,” I say to myself as I begin picking them
up one by one. No one’s ever “right back” once they answer the door.
After
I clean up the mess we made I realize that things were taking a little longer
than they should have. I gave it a few more minutes before I decided to walk
down the stairs to see who it was. It was 10pm and unusual for it to be one of
Alex’s bandmates. They always call before they just show up.
“Hey,
Al! Who is it?” I ask before I fully make it down the stairs. I stop in my
tracks when I see Jackson standing there. He hates Alex, why would he be here?
“Jack?!”
“Peyton…of
course you’re here with him.” Jackson turns away and laughs to himself for a
second before speaking up again. “You know what, this was a mistake. I
shouldn’t have come by.”
“Why
did you?” I ask folding my arms across my chest. Jackson has always been one of
my favorite people. We were so close it was hard to believe we were niece and
uncle. He’s the coolest uncle anyone could ever have. He was more like a big
brother or best friend. We fell apart once Alex and I got together.
“I
wanted to make amends with Alex. We’ve been friends for some time and I don’t
want us to be enemies anymore but I just got a reminder on why we are. You
could’ve at least put on clothes before coming down to see who it is.”
“I
didn’t know it was anyone worth putting on clothes for,” I shot back.
“Woah!
Guys come on. Let’s not,” Alex interrupts. “I would like for all of us to get
along. Jack and Peyton you guys are family…act like it…and Jack I’m sorry. Look,
I know she’s your niece and you helped raise her but I’m in love with her.” He
looks at me and I have no expression. I never heard him admit it out loud.
“Alex,
you love yourself,” Jackson replies as if he was correcting him.
“You
may not believe me yet but it’s different with her. She’s young, I know that
but…what we have is good and you’re going to have to accept that sooner or
later.”
“Don’t
fucking tell me what I have to accept,” Jack raises his voice and steps a
little too close to Alex. The last time they were this close, Jackson left Alex
with a bloody nose.
I
rushed between the both of them just to insure Jackson wouldn’t throw any
punches. I don’t want a repeat of last time.
“Jack,
you should go. There’s no need for you to be here,” I say staring him in his
eyes. It’s a cold stare. Never would I have thought Jackson would be my enemy.
“Peyton,
you’re making a huge mistake. Just come back with me and things can be a lot
different,” he pleaded.
“I
don’t want things to be different. I want Alex and if you can’t accept that
then you have no reason to be here…or in my life.” I could tell it broke his
heart, hearing me say such harsh words but if he truly wanted to make amends,
he would know he’d have to accept this.
“Okay.
I got it. I hope you two are happy,” he says before walking away towards the
door. Before he left he turned around and said, “Peyton, I may not be there for
you when you need me because trust me, you’re going to need me.”
For
some reason his words struck me hard…almost hard enough to knock me over. Alex
gently touched my shoulders and kissed my neck. I wanted it to relax me but all
it did was send a chill down my spine. Alex and I will be okay…Jack will see
just like everyone else will…
As many of you know, I had a book shower this past Saturday, June 20th. I called it a shower because it wasn't like an ordinary book signing. I showered my fans/guests with gifts, food, dessert, and prizes. It was a blast and went well...so well I'm going to do it again next year around the same time.
Each table (that was named after a character from A Tragic Heart and/or RED) received a gift based on that character's personality. I'm happy to say that everyone was pleased with what they received. Taylor gave out flash drives since she saves her writings on them, Peyton gave out music note bottle openers since he's a musician and a great cook, Mason gave out blank books with pens since he's also a writer, Jackson gave out book lights since he writes most of his music late at night, Alex gave out prescription bottles with pills that had encouraging messages in them since he was a bit of an addict, Peyton Hayley gave out earbuds with built in microphones since she's a musician and had a thing for blocking things out with music, Ronan gave out double sided photo frames since he's a photographer, and Adalyn gave out music note bookmarks since she's the bass guitarist in Peyton's band and an avid reader.
There were also favor bags and prizes that were won during the games. Everyone's feedback was positive and I almost sold out of all 75 books that were there. No one left empty handed. I'm glad to say it was a success and I hope next year can be even better. I also hope to see more people (hopefully new people) and to keep making each year bigger than the last. Check out some of the pictures below!
It's been a little over a week but I got another short story for you all! This one is from Jackson's POV and if it belonged to a book it would belong to RED (Book 2). It goes into detail on why Jackson is no longer married and readers can see just how much he was able to relate to Mason's situation in RED as well. Hope you enjoy!
Listen to "Wings" by Birdy on repeat while reading:
Jackson:
The Surprise
The
entire flight I could only think about getting home to my wife and two
children. It’s been two months since I last seen them; the longest I ever went.
The moment I touched down I couldn’t help but smile to myself. The flight was
already delayed because of the rain. My driver was waiting for me to arrive.
Immediately, I grabbed my bag and got in the car.
Megan’s
going to be so surprised to see me home early. She expected me to come home
next week but it was a lie I told her and the kids to surprise them. They’ve
missed me so much and it breaks my heart every time my baby girl cries over a
video chat begging me to come home to her. She’s only five so she doesn’t fully
understand why daddy isn’t home every day the way other fathers are. My son
takes it much better but lately he’s been getting into trouble at school. It’s
time for me to put my career on hold and focus on my home life.
When
we pull up to my estate I give Martin, my driver a huge tip. It’s the middle of
the night and he has a family he should get home to also so it’s the least I
can do. He tells me to take care and I reply for him to do the same. As he
pulls off I quietly unlock the door and push it open. I set my bag down at the
entrance because I want free hands when Megan jumps into my arms. I plan on
asking no questions and just taking her right there. We don’t get a lot of time
together but I love my wife just as much as a man who sees his every day…distance
doesn’t change a thing for me.
I
silently rush up the stairs and head straight to our bedroom. The light is on
which means she’s still up. I find it strange because she’s usually so
exhausted from the kids she’s out by ten the latest. It only makes me more
excited knowing that she’s wide awake…maybe we can spend a couple more hours
together before we both crash.
I
turn the knob and push open the door only to be stopped dead in my tracks. She
was surprised alright…they both were. Initially, I don’t know how to react, I
watch as she scrambles to put her clothes on. I keep thinking, ‘this is the wife I couldn’t wait to come
home to’. It takes a while before I can even get angry. I just feel hurt…all
over.
“Jack!
Oh my God!I can- I can explain,” she
says trying to put her clothes on. “You weren’t supposed to be home yet.”
She
says it like that’s supposed to make a difference. Like it makes it okay that I
found her in bed with another man. If she knew I was coming, he wouldn’t be
here…but that means whenever I’m not around he’s with her. My mind is trying to
make sense of what’s in front of me. I don’t answer. I turn away and walk out.
I head
down the stairs unsure of what I’m going to do next. I almost walk out of the
front door until I realize this is my house. Everything that’s here is because
of me. I lean against the door with a blank expression. That’s when he comes
running down the stairs and stops when he sees me.
“Did
you know?” I ask calmly.
“Know
what?” he asks in a nervous tone.
“That
she was married…did you know that she had a husband?” I reiterate.
“I
didn’t know that you were her husband…she
just said-“ I cut him off with a blow to the face.
“Who
gives a fuck if you knew I was her
husband or not?! You knew she was a married woman you sorry son of a bitch!” I
yell as I give him hit after hit.
Megan
rushes down the stairs at full speed pushing me off him. He gets up and walks
out as fast as he can.
“Jackson
listen to me! I’m so sorry! You have to let me explain!” she says frantically
while holding onto me.
I
push her away from me and walk back up the stairs. She follows me while begging
and pleading but nothing changes for me. I still have the same look on my face,
my body language is all the same.
I
make my way to our bedroom and open the door to her walk in closet. I grab a
bunch of her clothes not caring if I’m picking up complete outfits or not.
“Jack,
what are you doing?! What are you doing with my stuff?!” she yells with tears
streaming down her face. It almost makes me feel sorry for her looking at her
brown eyes grow darker.
“I want
you out tonight. You can’t stay here,” I say as calmly as I know how.
I’m
walking down the stairs and to the front door. She’s only inches behind me.
“Tonight?
No, can we talk about this? Give it some time!” she begs.
“How
long has this been happening?” I ask not really caring what her answer would
be. My decision will remain the same.
“About
a year…but you don’t understand you were never here!”
I
laugh a little. “Well that justifies it,” I say sarcastically. “I gave you
everything! The car you drive, the house you live in…our kids! I did all of
that you ungrateful slut!”
She
shutters at the harshness of my words. I can tell it took her by surprise.
“Where
are the kids?” I ask.
She
takes a deep breath so she can speak clearly. She’s still crying nonstop. “In
their rooms. I swear they never saw him…they don’t know anything.”
“I
want you out of my house Megan.” I open the door and throw her clothes out into
the pouring rain.
“Jackson,
please don’t…I love you!”
“No
Megan, love is when you come home early to surprise your wife and kids not when
you sleep with another man because your husband is out making a living for his
family,” I reply.
I grab
her by her arms and push her towards the door. She’s only wearing a pair of
short and a large t-shirt. She doesn’t even have shoes on.
“Jack
no! No!” she begs. “I have nowhere to go.”
I
pull out my wallet and take out a couple of hundred dollar bills. “I’m sure you
can find a decent hotel for the night with that.”
“What about the kids?” she asks
trying to pull my grip off of her arm.
“I’ll tell them that mommy is a
cheating whore who had to go away for a while. Don’t worry, I won’t keep you
away from your kids but you can’t stay here!” I forcefully push her out the
door. She lands on her knees, I’m sure causing them to scrape. I don’t even
care enough to care. I slam the door and lock it. I leave her out there without
a cell phone, keys, or a jacket. I’m that angry.
I walk away from the door while
hearing her bang over and over. She’s crying and begging but I don’t care. I
spend some time in the guest room before I think about my actions. After about
thirty minutes of her standing out in the rain without any decent clothes, I
let her back in. She’s sobbing and shivering.
“You stay in the bedroom and I’ll be
in one of the other rooms. You can have the house and we’ll split custody. You’ll
have them majority of the time since I’m always on tour or working on an album.
They’re my family and I will put them first but you’re nothing to me. You never
will mean anything to me ever again,” I say.
“Jack, you’re just hurt,” she
replies as her voice cracks. She tries to touch me but I move her away.
“No, I mean it. This is it for us. I
don’t want to fight you for anything. I just want out. It hurt me to be away
from you too but I never touched another woman. I’m done here.”
I leave her standing there dripping
from the rain. She’ll probably cry the entire night but I don’t care. This is
the beginning of the end for us…
Find out more about Jackson in the RED Tragedies Series here. Jackson appears in A Tragic Heart, RED, & What Could've Been.
Hey all! Very recently I posted onto my social media accounts that I was thinking about creating VERY short stories based on the characters from the RED Tragedies series. I wasn't sure if this was a good idea or not but I've decided to give it a go.
Every so often I will post a new story equivalent to 1-2 pages based on one or more of my characters. These very short scenes will be based on various times of their lives and will not be written in any specific order. For example, you can read about 15 year old Peyton or 25 year old Peyton. You can read about Taylor's life with Peyton after A Tragic Heart (if it existed) and you can read about Taylor's life without Peyton. Basically, it's all for fun and games while giving you all an occasional dosage of the characters you've come to know and love.
Most of it will be a day in the life of ___________. I will also provide a song to listen to while reading (more than likely the song that inspired me to write the scene) so it can put you in the mood. I'm actually very excited about this new project and I can't wait to see what I will come up with. These stories will be written from the characters' POV in some cases and in others it'll be written as if a narrator is telling a story.
I will post each story on my blog as well as my Wattpad account. Hope you all are ready!
Characters who will be included are as follows along with the books they are present in (but more will be added as stories progress):
1. Taylor (A Tragic Heart, Turn It Off, What Could've Been)
2. Peyton (A Tragic Heart, Turn It Off, What Could've Been)
3. Mason (A Tragic Heart, RED, Turn It Off, What Could've Been)
4. Jackson(A Tragic Heart, RED, What Could've Been)
5. Adalyn (A Tragic Heart, RED, Turn It Off, What Could've Been)
6. Alex (RED)
7. Peyton Hayley (A Tragic Heart, RED, What Could've Been)
8. Ronan (RED)
9. Lauren (A Tragic Heart, Turn It Off)
A Tragic Heart & RED are available now while the intro and first chapter of Turn It Off is available. What Could've Been is coming soon!
Sorry I went away for a while without a word but a lot of new things happened to me so my schedule has been unusual and it took time to get used to it all. I haven't forgot about my duties as a writer and from now on I intend to keep up with my true career.
Actually, in a way I have been keeping up with my writing career, just not through social media and the internet. For starters, I have a new logo and slogan that I posted below. I thought the tagline, "All love is a tragedy!" is very fitting for my novels/work. I believe even the greatest love is a tragedy because we leave ourselves wide open while firearms are pointing in our direction and we don't care if they're ready to shoot...all in the name of love! So yeah, that's where that came from...
Anyway, on to something a tad bit more important than my tagline and new logo...my book shower! All is welcome, the more the merrier! It's all going to happen on June 20th from 2-5pm at 281 Babylon Turnpike, Roosevelt, NY 11575. It's something you really don't want to miss so if you can find a way to make it then do so!
There will be food...TONS OF FOOD (which includes desserts and hors d'oeuvres), games, prizes, surprises, and of course books for sale just waiting to be signed by me! I will update you all as time goes by but it is also important to RSVP (it's free unless you want a special package) since I plan to have assigned seating. Each table will be named after a character from my books so you never know whose table you'll be sitting at and what surprise that character has in store for you!
It seems as if I'm releasing book after book but I promise this is the last one for a while...maybe. I decided to release RED(The Mini Book) so you all can add the character profiles, poems, and lessons/themes to your RED Tragedies collection. It's a compilation of the things I've posted on my blog but this time you can have it in one neatly packed (mini) book for only $6.00 for the paperback and $2.99 for the Kindle version.
If you're unsure about purchasing RED, you can check out the mini book for scenes from the full length novel and to get to know the characters better. The links are posted below:
I know, I know! I just released REDbut I thought it would be a great idea to release Turn It Off...well the intro and first chapter of the book at least. Turn It Off still has a while before it comes out (I still don't have a specific month or date) but it's never too early to give people a solid taste of what's to come. It's now available on Amazon for only $6.00 for paperback and $2.99 on Kindle. It's the unedited version of the book so pick up a copy and let me know what you think so far by leaving a review!
Turn It Off is the third installment to the RED Tragedies series (also known as A Tragic Heart series) so if you haven't yet, pick up your copy of A Tragic Heart (that's now only $2.99 on Kindle) and RED. Always remember to leave a review!
After all of the blogging and promoting for RED it's finally here! The second part to A Tragic Heart is now on Amazon and here is the link: http://amzn.to/17xvcPy . I hope you all enjoy it and don't forget to leave a review!
YES! I've wanted to let this out for literally months now and I can finally say it! RED is the the first ever novel to have a music release to go along with it (just like movies and soundtracks).
A very dear friend of mine was kind enough to write and record a song for the novel and it's AWESOME!!!!!!! It'll be available on iTunes eventually but for now take a listen on YouTube!
Since RED is set to come out on Valentine's Day (5 MORE DAYS!), I've decided to make finding each character profile and poem from the character's POV easy. Remember that RED is the 2nd part to A Tragic Heart so catch up before the big release! Here is the pre-book to RED!
Full Name: Peyton Hayley Giordano
Birth Date: April 4, 2010
Gender: Female
Age During RED: 16-18 years old
Eye Color: Green
Hair Color: Red
Height: 5'6
Weight: 130 lbs
Relatives: Taylor Caldwell (Mother-Deceased). Peyton Giordano
(Father-Deceased), Mason Taylor (Cousin), Adalyn Voyvodich-Taylor
(Cousin-in-law), Jackson Caldwell (Uncle), Nick Taylor (cousin), Ryan Taylor (cousin), Lila Taylor (cousin)
Positive Character Traits: She's compassionate although she rarely
shows it. She has a strong attitude and stands up for herself. Peyton
tends to lead her own life without caring what others think. She's
extremely talented and smart.
Negative Character Traits: She self-sabotages frequently, she can be
quick to anger, and she's a bit of a martyr at times. She's also
impulsive.
Choice Quote from RED: "When we want
something bad enough we tend to only look at the positive side of
things. We ignore the negative because we don't want to go there."
That's all for now! If you want to learn more about Peyton, you can pick
up your copy of RED when it is released in the Winter of 2015. For now,
you can learn about some of the other characters in RED by reading part
one to the novel, A Tragic Heart. By the way, if Peyton were a song she would be The (After) Life of The Party by Fall Out Boy.
Battered and Shattered (A Poem From Peyton's POV + New Scene From RED)
Sitting on the hard, cold ground alone
Scared, battered and shattered
I don't know who I am
I have no one to call
And the night is black
I'm just scared, battered and shattered
They're asking me questions
That I don't have the answers to
Alone, battered and shattered
My tears do the talking for me
Words won't come out my throat
I'm alone, battered and shattered
I've made my mistakes
But do I deserve this?
Confused, battered and shattered
My blood runs red
And my mind is running wild
I'm confused, battered and shattered
"Tell me your name"
"Do you have any family?"
Just leave me battered and shattered
I've come this far on my own
No one to guide me
He left me battered and shattered
Here's the scene from RED, Battered and Shattered was inspired by. Hope you enjoy it and remember RED will be released this Valentine's Day!
I
don’t recognize myself. It’s more than that
bad. It’s horrific. I become speechless and let my tears do the talking for me.
I want to let something out. I want words to come out of my mouth. Suddenly, I
hear screaming, a female’s voice that echoes through the night. It takes me a
while to figure out that it’s my own. I can’t believe he did this to me.
The
police and ambulance arrive as Robyn tries her best to console me. This can’t be
happening. This can’t be real. I must be dreaming. An officer and a paramedic run
up to me and bombard me with questions that I can’t answer right then. The
paramedic walks me over to the ambulance and sits me in the back of the truck.
He shines a light on my face and gently touches it.
“The
most we can do is treat these wounds. You have a contusion on the upper left
corner of your face but you’ll heal. Let’s get you to the hospital. You’ll need
X-rays and the police can take your report there. Do you have anyone we can
call?”
I
nod my head yes and he calls the police officer over to the truck. They all
look so sympathetic. I wonder if they all have daughters and are imagining what
if this happened to them. I’m afraid to witness what Mason would do.
“I’m
going to need a phone number, your mom or dad?” the officer says trying not to
look too concerned.
“I
don’t have a mom or a dad, just cousins.” I speak lowly in a monotone voice.
“I’m
going to need someone’s number,” he replies.
“I
tried to call Adalyn. She’s my cousin’s wife but she didn’t pick up.”
“What
about your cousin?” he asks now seeming concerned.
“He’s
in California on business.”
“Well,
I’ll tell you what. Give me both of their numbers and I’ll try my best to
contact them.”
I
give the officer all of my information and he says he’ll follow me to the
hospital to get the report after I’ve been fully examined. I lie back on the
stretcher as the ambulance drives away from the dark and lonely street that has
drops of my soul
scattered on it.
I
try to close my eyes but every time I do I see the image of Marcus. I’m not a
crier but lately my emotions seem to be taking control of me. The ride is
silent and I’ve never felt so alone in my life. How do I fix this? How do I
walk into school? What will Mason and Adalyn think? God, I don’t want all of
these answers at one time because that means there will be problems to go along
with it.
*************************************************
Young Mason Mason as he would appear in RED
Full Name: Mason Dale Taylor
Birth Date: May 4, 1992
Gender: Male
Age During RED: 34-36 years old Eye Color: Green Hair Color: Black Height: 6'1 Weight: 202 lbs Relatives: Adalyn Voyvodich-Taylor (Wife), Jean Taylor (Mother),
Brian Taylor (Father), Peyton Hale Giordano (Cousin-Deceased), Cathleen
Taylor-Giordano (Aunt-Deceased), Peyton Hayley Giordano (Cousin/Adopted
Daughter), Taylor Caldwell (Ex-Wife-Deceased), Jackson Caldwell
(Ex-Brother-in-law), Lila Taylor (Daughter), Nick Taylor (Son), Ryan
Taylor (Son) Relationship Status: Married
Interests/Hobbies: Writing & Basketball
Positive Character Traits: Mason is very loving and accepting. He
doesn't like to give up on people he truly cares about and he would die
for the ones he love. He is full of compassion and protects his family
at all costs.
Negative Character Traits: He can be stubborn at times and he has a
bit of a short fuse. There are times he is quick to anger and he can be
sarcastic at times.
Choice Quote from RED: "In reality, I had no idea what I was waiting for but I just knew that the time wasn't right."
And that's the end of Mason's character profile. I hope you all feel a little closer to him but if not make sure you check out RED when it is released this Winter. For those of you who have no idea who Mason is, you can still check out A Tragic Heart before RED is released to get to know about him and his past. Until next time... By the way, if Mason was a song he would be "Dare You To Move" by Switchfoot.
Dreaming Alive (A Poem From Mason's POV)-New Scene From RED Included!
Last night I dreamed of you while I was awake
And I prayed to the Lord my soul He'll take
Just so I can be back with you
Do you know what it's like to dream while alive?
To see the damning images deep inside your mind?
But it was worth it because I was with you
The sparks in your eyes, they were still there
But the fire spread and you disappeared
I'll burn all over again just for you
My eyes are wide open and my heart has been closed
I can't love another because you're all that I know
And I wouldn't have it any other way because of you
I tasted your mouth and you tasted mine
I think we forgot all about the time
But life always worked that way with you
Last night I dreamed while I was alive
But in reality you were on the other side
What I would give for you!
Because last night that dream brought me alive...
Here is the scene from RED, Dreaming Alive was inspired from. It's a
scene where Mason dreams of his lost love Taylor (from A Tragic Heart).
***
Every
time I try to close my eyes, I see her. I keep trying to think of
something new, but she won’t get out of my head. Sixteen years and she
still haunts me.
I wake up to the smell of breakfast so I quickly get up and brush
my teeth. I practically rush down the stairs before something stops me in my
tracks.
“Hey, make sure your dad is up. I know how much he hates having to
heat up food,” I hear her voice say
from the kitchen.
I’m afraid to walk in and be disappointed. It couldn’t be. Is it
all a dream? Did it never happen? For a second I feel relieved but then realize
that when I open the kitchen door it wouldn’t be her.
I stand in front of the kitchen door for a while before pushing it
open. I close my eyes and say a short prayer before viewing what’s in front of
me.
“Never mind!” she calls out. “You’re right on time,” shesays
with a beautiful smile. The smile that’s been imprinted in my mind since the
first day we met.
“The smell woke me up,” I say relieved that she’s standing there in front of me again. “Is this real?” I ask her a little confused.
“Last time I checked,” she
sounds just as confused as I feel.
“Don’t ever leave me again,” I say touching her beautiful face.
“I won’t. We were young before, it’s different now. I love you.”
“I love you too. I always have and always will.”
She leans in and kisses me passionately. We almost get carried away
but the smoke that fills the air reminds us that she’s cooking.
“SHIT!” I yell opening the kitchen window and turning the fan
above the stove on.
She laughs a little and tells me to watch my mouth. I stare at her for a long time before she acknowledges it.
“What? Why do you keep looking at me like that?” she asks never wiping that smile off of
her face.
“I just had this terrible dream,” I say unable to take my eyes off
of her.
“What was it about?”
“I don’t want to bring it up again, but I dreamed that after Peyton died you fell into this deep
depression and…” it’s hard for me to say it even though I know that it never
happened, “you asked me to watch Peyton for a while, and you never came back.
You left me in the worst way possible. I found you on your apartment floor
covered in blood. It was the worst thing I’ve ever seen.”
She doesn’t say a word. She just
looks at me with glossy eyes as if she’s
trying to hold back tears.
“I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to bring it up again,” I say before
reaching out to touch her.
She moves away from me and tears fall from her eyes.
“If I knew you loved me this much I would’ve never done it. I
regret it every day,” she says through
her tears.
I don’t understand.
“I’m confused, what are you talking about?” I ask still trying to
move closer to her.
“I would have given you a second chance. You deserved it. I ruined
her. I ruined everything! You’re doing such a great job, Mason. It’s not your
fault. You’re not the reason why she’s so angry. It’s all my fault! I just wanted
to see him again but now I’m stuck!”
She moves back towards the stove and I yell for her to move out of the way. The stove catches fire without good explanation and quickly spreads across the
kitchen forming a barrier between us. I try grabbing her to pull her with me
but I can’t get to her.
“Don’t leave me!” I yell back at her while reaching for her
hand. “Please! Don’t leave me again!”
I
jump out of my sleep more startled than I’ve ever been. I look over at the
clock and see it reads 5:45 am. I quickly get up and walk to Peyton’s room. She
still isn’t home. The hairs on the back of my neck are standing on end and I can’t
relax. I walk into the den on the top floor and try to relax by watching some
TV. I can’t get that dream out of my head. I say a short prayer and whisper to
myself, “Baby, wherever you are, I hope you’re safe and happy.”
Relatives: Mason Taylor (Husband), Lynn Voyvodich (Mother), Michael
Voyvodich Sr. (Father), Michael Voyvodich Jr. (Brother), Lila Taylor
(Daughter), Ryan Taylor (Son), Nick Taylor (Son), Peyton Giordano
(Adopted Daughter), Jean Taylor (Mother-in-law), Brian Taylor
(Father-in-law)
Positive Character Traits: Adalyn is caring and helpful. She's the
person who is by your side through whatever you go through. She's the
exact opposite of judgmental and she's easy to talk to. Adalyn can also
be outspoken when needed. She's the friend everyone wants.
Negative Character Traits: She can hold feelings/emotions inside for far too long causing her to react in questionable ways.
Choice Quote from RED: "I guess
that's the difference between men and women. No matter whether we're
wrong or right, we're willing to fight for what we have." Welp!
That's it for now. I hope you all feel like you know Adalyn just a
little better than before. I look forward to all of you getting to know
her more when RED comes out this
Winter. The editing process is going great and I can't wait to share it
all with you guys! To learn more about Adalyn in the meantime you can
pick up your copy of A Tragic Heart by clicking the link. You still have time to catch up before RED is released. By the way, if Adalyn was a song she would be "Break Free" by Ariana Grande.
Mistakes (A Poem From Adalyn's POV + New Scene From RED)
Mistakes are lessons
Mistakes are certain
But it's always ugly revealing what's behind the curtain
He wasn't ready for it
Neither was I
But I caused it and left us to die
Mistakes are normal
Mistakes cause heartache
But I didn't mean for his heart to break
He was never there
And I was lonely
In my heart, he's my one and only
I did something that I can't take back
There's no way of erasing the facts
But where's forgiveness when you need it?
I wait by the phone and I sit and sit
Mistakes are things we all must make
Mistakes are the things that raises the stakes
They test you when things are low
They make sure things are never the same
Mistakes cause you to remember you're the one to blame
I'm tired of pointing fingers
I just want us to be us again
But the trials from my mistake won't ever end
You left me all alone
And I may deserve it
But let's not act like you were perfect
You dreamed about her while you were awake
I was second best and that's what I can't take
You put me last when I should've been first
You buried me with her in the dirt
Now I'm done with pointing fingers
I just want to make you see
That I wasn't the only one who did something ugly
You raised her from the dead
While I was alive
So I made a mistake...that I can't deny
Here's the scene from RED that inspired Mistakes. Remember RED will be out this Valentine's Day.
“Adalyn,
what’s going on?” he says frantically.
“I
don’t know what happened but Lila said-”I began to speak in my weak voice before he interrupts.
“Where
were you when this happened? Why don’t you know what happened?” He raises his
voice.
“Um,
Mason I know you’re upset but you may want to tone it down a little,” Peyton
warns as she touches his shoulder.
He
takes a deep breath and I decide it’s a safe time to speak.
“Look
Mason, I know that you’re upset and you have so many reasons to be right now. It
was a lapse in judgment on my part and-”
“Yeah,
Adalyn you’ve been having a lot of those lately, haven’t you?” he snaps at me.
I
look at Peyton whose face tells me how sorry she is for everything. I don’t
know what to say to him. Everything I say to him is going to be wrong.
“I’ll
stay here just in case someone comes out with news on Ryan. I’ll let the nurse
know that I’m here with you guys. You two should head outside and talk this
out,” she offers in the kindest way possible.
Mason
seems hesitant about her suggestion but eventually obliges. I follow behind him
like a lost puppy and can’t help but think how much I’ve missed him.
“Now
will you let me explain?” I ask the moment we reached outside the hospital’s
entrance.
“Go
ahead,” he responds coldly.
“I
let the kids play outside for a while so I could get a few things together
around the house. I had no one there to watch them so I told Lila to look out for
her brothers being that she’s the oldest. Everything was fine. After I finished
cleaning up and making sure everything was in order I looked at the time and
saw that it was time for them to eat lunch. Before I went to the kitchen I went
to the backyard to check on them and told them that it was time for them to
come inside. I only left for a few minutes. I honestly don’t know what happened
in that short time span but I heard screaming from the kitchen so I ran as fast
as I could and-” I try to hold back my tears but I’m not strong enough.
My
words strangle me causing my voice to become inaudible. I swallow harshly and
struggle to finish my sentence. Mason shows no signs of sympathy.
“That’s
when I saw it. Ryan was floating face down in the pool. I immediately pulled
him out and started CPR. Lila said she wasn’t paying attention and he and Nick
were running around the pool. Nick said they wanted to see who could make the
biggest splash by diving in and Ryan went first. Nick said it took him a while
to come up and when he did he wasn’t moving. They know they can’t swim, I just
don’t understand why they would do something like this,” I finish while wiping
my tears away from my eyes.
“I
know why. Because they’re kids Adalyn! That’s why you should be watching them
at all times! Why would you let them play outside by themselves? Especially the
backyard! You know we never let them back there alone! How could you be so God
damn stupid and careless?”
“You
know what, Mason? Maybe if I had some help this wouldn’t have happened! Maybe
if you’d come home sometime I wouldn’t have to deal with things like this! I
made a mistake and I’m so sorry! It won’t happen again!” I shout back.
“You’re
damn right it won’t happen again Adalyn because I’m getting custody of my children!
I didn’t want life to change for them too drastically but this stunt that you
pulled leaves me no choice at all. I’m calling my lawyer first thing in the
morning!”
Something
comes over me. I’m not sure what it is but it takes over my entire body. I’ve
never felt anger rise inside of me so quickly. He wants to challenge me for my
children. This is what we’ve come to.
I
draw my hand back and smack him harder than I thought I could. The left side of
his face turns red in an instant. For the first time in a long time, I don’t
feel sorry.
“What
the fuck?!” he shouts loud enough for the entire parking lot to hear.
“If
you think that you’re going to take my children away from me and I won’t fight
you, you have another thing coming to you, Mason! I made one mistake by
cheating on you but you don’t get to take it out on them! What happened today
could have happened if either one of us was watching them. Don’t try to make me
sound like a bad parent when I was the one who practically raised them while
you were always away working somewhere or obsessing over your dead ex-wife!” I
state pointing my index finger at him as if I’m reprimanding a child.
“You
have no right to talk to me this way, Adalyn,” he says in a much deeper tone.
Mason
can be scary when he’s angry but I don’t let it bother me. I have to show him
that I’m capable of being stronger than him.
“You’re
an asshole, Mason! You want to know why I’ve been so side tracked lately? It’s
because of you. It’s because you won’t talk to me or even look at me! It’s
because you’re not even man enough to confront what happened between us.
Instead you want to run away as if that’s going to fix things. Well it’s not!
You ran away from Taylor, you ran
away from Peyton, and now you’re
running away from your family. Stop running and learn to deal with the cards
given to you! Whether you like it or not you need to come back home so we can
settle things like adults. You can keep your new fancy condo just in case you
decide we can’t make it. I really don’t give a damn about the decisions you
make anymore, Mason, but at least respect your family enough to decide
together. You may not want me right now and it’s completely okay with me
because at this moment I’m not sure if I want to be with you either!”
Before
he can speak another word Peyton comes out to tell us that the doctor would
like to see us. I don’t wait for Mason to make a move. Instead I quickly walk
back into the entrance of the hospital ignoring everything else around me.
Mason can rot in hell for all I care. He’s not going to get away with trying to
take my babies away from me. They are all I have left.
Relatives: Taylor Caldwell (sister-deceased), Henry Caldwell
(Father), Eva Caldwell (Mother), Kristen Caldwell (sister), Tyler
Caldwell (brother-deceased), Mason Taylor (ex-brother in law), Peyton Hale Giordano (brother in law-deceased), Peyton Hayley Giordano (niece), Grayson Caldwell (son), Charli Caldwell (daughter)
Relationship Status: Single/Divorced
Interests/Hobbies: Singing, Guitar, Piano, Playing on stage with his band, Songwriting, Spending time with his family, Women, Recreational use of herbs (occasionally)
Positive Character Traits: He's loving and would go to new heights to
protect the ones he love. Jackson is the cool uncle/brother that
everyone wants. He's very laid back and hates confrontation but he will
fight if it comes to that. Jackson is/was Taylor's guardian angel on
earth.
Negative Character Traits: Sometimes he can be "too cool" and not
make the right decisions. For example, there are times he was/is too
lenient on his sister and niece.
Choice Quote From RED: "Stop crying, forget your mistakes, and move on!"
So that's it for Jackson! For those of you who are familiar with him I
hope this got you a little more excited to read about him in RED. For those of you who didn't know him until now, I hope you feel like you just met Jack for the first time. RED will be out this Winter (I get the edited manuscript back this week! Yay!) which means there is still time to catch up with A Tragic Heart. It's the first part to the RED Tragedies series, with RED being the second. Thanks for stopping by and getting to know the characters in my head. :-)
By the way, if Jackson was a song he'd be "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons!
Reminisce (A Poem From Jackson's POV + New Scene From RED)
In my mind I can see your face so clearly
The years went by but it all still feels the same
I can live an eternity & I'll still miss you severely
Nothing can replace you, none of my fortune and fame
I gasp for air because you're not here
It's like your memory chokes me until I can't breathe
Losing you was always my biggest fear
Your memory haunts me, I can barely speak
I never thought it would all end like this
You, untouchable, while I suffer in silence
Living everyday is a hit or miss
There's an inner battle, I suffer the violence
Now I sit back and reminisce
Nostalgia sends me into a dark place
I'm so sorry you felt you had to go out like this
I would give it all just to see your face
And she's dying here without you
But I don't want to place blame
But there's nothing I can do
Nothing was ever the same
I can't breathe without you but I have no choice...
Here's the scene from RED that inspired Reminisce. It's Jackson's inner monologue after he holds a conversation with Peyton. RED
is set to be released this Valentine's Day (February 14, 2015)! Any
Peyton that is in bold letters refers to the Peyton from A Tragic Heart.
My time with Peyton results in me needing
some alone time anyway. My stomach is in knots and there is a huge lump in my
throat. I head to my room and lock the door. I close my eyes and exhale trying
to make the pain go away but it’s stubborn. It wants to hang around for a
little while longer.
Almost seventeen years later and the pain is
still as arresting as it was the day I found out. That day when Mason called me
to tell me that he found Taylor in a pool of her own blood with a giant knife
sticking out of her chest. I didn’t want to believe that she took her own life,
as it would have been easier to know that someone else was to blame. I hated
blaming my own sister for her death.
I remember it so clearly. I couldn’t speak,
my mouth was dry and the lump in my throat prevented me from forming words.
This feeling that I am feeling right now is all too familiar.
My brain shut down on me. Taylor was my
best friend and to hear Mason tell me that she was no longer with me was my
biggest fear. I never imagined a world without Taylor. I’ve tried to several
times before but the thoughts were in flashes. I never took the time to ponder
how I would go on without her because I knew it would hurt too much.
I was angry. Why wouldn’t she call me like
she normally did? Why didn’t she think of me? If she wasn’t going to stay for
her baby girl, why not stay for me?
Matt, my bass guitarist had to pull me
together. I had a show that night and it was too late to cancel. I had to go on
stage in front of thousands of people and try my best to smile. I broke down
during every break throughout the set. I guess that moment made me a stronger
person because nothing could stop me from performing now. Performing through
that circumstance taught me how to play through anything with a smile on my
face.
Taylor was too young to take on the
responsibilities she placed before herself. She should have enjoyed life as a
teenager but I could understand why it was so difficult for her. So many
unfortunate things happened to her before she reached her fifteenth birthday. I
was her only confidant and when I left to tour after high school, she felt
alone. Part of me blamed myself for her problems but I knew I had to live my
life too. I just wished that there was something else I could have done. I did
my best to stay in contact with her but some days were harder than others. She
never understood just how much I loved her. Words weren’t enough.
I would take my own life just to save hers
if I had a choice. At the funeral I could barely stand to look at her lying
there. I wanted to believe that she was only sleeping and it was some sort of
sick joke but my gut reminded me that it was all real. The truth is I almost
didn’t show up. Mason forced me to come. I called him the day of the service to
tell him that I wasn’t going. Ten minutes later he was at my doorstep forcing
me to get ready. He told me that I’d regret it later.
I told him that the thought alone was
killing me and I wouldn’t be able to take seeing her in that state. It didn’t
make sense to me that I’d never see my little sister again. It didn’t make
sense that I’d never hear her voice calling me ever again or that she no longer
existed. It didn’t make sense to me that she would take her own life…although
it made perfect sense to me.
She loved Peyton more than her own life. She loved him so much that she would
choose selfishness over thinking about the ones who still loved her that were
here on earth. She couldn’t have thought about what it would have done to me.
She mentioned me in her suicide note but it wasn’t enough. She couldn’t tell me
to stay strong and that she loved me if she was going to do something so
drastic. She didn’t understand and every day I ask God to show her mercy
because she didn’t know what she was doing. She wasn’t in her right mind. I ask
Him every day to punish me rather than her. I deserve it more than she does.
She was good throughout her lifetime. She made one irreversible mistake…just
one. I plead all the time for Him to go easy on her. She needed grace more than
anyone else I’ve ever come in contact with.
Peyton
died in a tragic way. No one could have
predicted it and everyone asked “why him?” He was only seventeen and had so
much life ahead of him. He was supposed to be right next to me selling out
arenas. The kid had undeniable talent that was out of this world. He obviously
passed it onto his daughter. I think she’s more like him than Taylor. She has
his hair and eyes…it’s almost scary. Anyone who knew Peyton could tell that she was all him. She has some of Taylor’s
attitude and slight traits in her personality but her nature was every bit of
her dad’s.
Her rebellious temperament, her musical
ability, her wild ways are all Peyton.
He slowed down a lot after meeting Taylor. In many ways she saved him too.
Taylor always credited Peytonfor her happiness but he claimed that
he was a changed man because of her. He gave up his heavy drinking, drug use,
partying and women just for her. He told me all about his past life before
Taylor while we were on tour. In fact, his past life was eerily similar to his
daughter’s present life.
We became really good friends and I looked
forward to having him as a brother-in-law. I already saw him as the brother I
never had. Damn, Peyton if you never left, Taylor would still be here and if
Taylor was still here your daughter would be okay.
There’s no time to play the blaming game.
All is how it is and there’s no changing that. We have to learn how to deal
with the present without falling down…and if we fall we need to learn how to
pick ourselves up. If not for ourselves,
for someone who cares about us. I wish Taylor would have known that. I wish
I would have told her that the day I visited her a little after Peyton was
born. Maybe those words could have saved her life. She always thought highly of
my opinions and advice.
The pain that I’m feeling isn’t showing any
signs of letting up anytime soon. My thoughts race a
million miles per hour
leaving me sitting at the edge of my bed with tears falling from my eyes. And the pain never goes away...
Relatives: Jane Connolly (Mother) & Paul Connolly (Father)
Relationship Status: Completely in love and devoted to Peyton Hayley Giordano (in other words, TAKEN)
Interests/Hobbies: Photography & Art
Positive Character Traits: Ronan is an extremely compassionate and
forgiving person. He doesn't hold grudges and he's probably one of the
sweetest guys you'll ever come to meet. He has a great swagger about him
and seems a little tough on the outside but he's completely soft and
loving on the inside. He's a fantastic boyfriend/partner and believes in
honesty. Basically, his parents did a great job raising him. Not to
mention, he was born and raised in Ireland giving him a hot Irish accent
to go with all of these things.
Negative Character Traits: When it comes to his girlfriend he can be a
bit of a pushover but that's probably because he's completely
mesmerized by her. He can be blind to her actions at times.
Choice Quote from RED: "She was temptation itself but nothing about her seemed sinful. It was all heavenly."
That's all for this month! Next month I'll have another character to
introduce to you all. He's a bit of a rebel who shakes things up in the
story. Without him, RED wouldn't
be complete. I can't wait for you all to meet him, but for now I hope
you all feel a little closer to Ronan. There will be a lot more of him
in RED. Remember, RED is the second part to A Tragic Heart and the second book in my RED TRAGEDIES series. You still have time to catch up before the release of RED!
By the way, if Ronan was a song he'd be "Simonize" by Pete Yorn.
My Defeat (A Poem From Ronan's POV + New Scene From RED)
New week, new poem! This one is coming from Ronan's POV and it's a bit of a love poem.Ronan is Peyton's
love interest in the novel but their relationship is nothing short of
rocky and passionate. There's so much love there but there's also a lot
to worry about. RED will be out on Valentine's Day and you can check out the final cover for it here (just click on the word "here"). For now check out My Defeat and if you missed last week's you can view it here.
Today I saw the clearest view
The best part of it was looking at you
You're someone I could love forever
But that's only if you give us a chance to be together
We can take it slow if you'd like
Because I know how much you love to put up a fight
That's one of the many things I love about you
It's never easy, no matter what I do
And you're my favorite song on repeat
You're my demise, my defeat
There was just something about the way you smile
The way your green eyes made it all worth while
There's so much love yet so much doubt
Your eyes wander and I can't figure you out
Yet I want to love you for an eternity
I say that with all certainty
You're the photograph I stare at all day
No matter what you do I won't have it any other way
I can be so much more than the others
I want to be so much more than your lover
The way you hurt me feels so good
I guess I wouldn't change it if I could
So I'll let you be my defeat, my demise
Just say you love me while looking me in the eyes
Here's the scene from RED that inspired My Defeat. I hope you all enjoy it and remember to pick up your copy of RED on Valentine's Day!
Ilaugh
to myself when Peyton purposely interrupts mine and Tara’s conversation. She
can pretend she doesn’t have feelings for me but it’s so obvious that she does.
I’ve never been a guy with a huge ego but I have enough confidence to know that
I can have almost any girl in this school. They’ve been trying since day one
and I have been successfully ignoring them all just for her.
The
moment I see the girl with hair as red as communism, and eyes greener
than the most well-watered grass, I know what I want. I’ve heard all of the
rumors and know about all of the guys but her past doesn’t mean a thing to me.
She’s beautiful and confident and I just want her to share it all with me.
It
amazes me how she can pretend that I’m invisible to her. She’s been my best
friend for the past few weeks and every day I fall more in love with her.
He
doesn’t deserve her. Marcus is an asshole and I know that she knows this. She
says he treats her well but I know she notices how he talks about other girls
and how he stares at them while she’s with him. She deserves so much better.
I
wish she’d just let me want her and love her the way I do in my mind. It breaks
my heart slowly every day that I have to wait for her, but if waiting is what
it takes, then that’s what I’ll do. I wish I could tell her how beautiful I
think she is and how no photograph I’ve ever taken can measure up to her
beauty. What I would give to photograph her every day for the rest of my life.
“What
are you doing tonight?” I whisper, leaning closer to her.
I
love the view that’s right next to me. It’s more beautiful than any landscape
in the rural parts of Ireland. I swear a window’s frame or glass has never seen
anything so flawless.
“Date
with Marcus,” she answers after taking a quick glance at me.
“What
about tomorrow?”
“I
don’t know.”
“Movies
at my place? It’s awfully lonely in that big house by myself. I know you’d hate
yourself if I got so depressed I drove myself insane.”
She
smiles and my heart shatters inside of my chest.
“Sure,
tomorrow at your place is fine. Now let me pay attention, at least one of us
would have to know what we’re doing,” she whispers while looking at me from the
corner of her eyes.
Relatives: Unknown as a result of Alex being disowned by his family.
Relationship Status: Kind of single, always ready to mingle!
Interests/Hobbies: Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll! He's also the drummer in a famous band
Positive Character Traits: He's a great lover and an amazing drummer/songwriter.
Negative
Character Traits: He's not a one woman kind of guy. He doesn't know how
to love even when he feels it. Alex isn't known for making the best
decisions and he's pretty stubborn. He likes to party and his reputation
isn't the greatest in the tabloids...yet women love him!
Choice Quote From RED: "We have opened Pandora's Box and all of the sin of the world exploded within us...I've never felt so alive."
That's
all for this month! Alex is a really interesting character that you
will both love and really hate. He brings the book on a lot of roller
coaster ridesand I can't wait for you all to get to know him better. For now, I hope you all have a better idea of who he is. Remember, RED is the second part to A Tragic Heart and the second book in my RED TRAGEDIES series. You still have time to catch up before the release of RED!
By the way, if Alex was a song he'd be "Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)" by Marilyn Manson.
Lust You (A Poem From Alex's POV + New Scene From RED)
I'm one second away from tearing off your clothes
Even though I know much better than this
It's the way your eyes look, the way your hair flows
I want to add you to my list
Isn't it okay if you act older than your age?
I mean, who would know if you don't tell?
Let's give a performance in my room, my bed will be the stage
I'll buy whatever it is you're willing to sell
And I know this is supposed to be wrong
But I bite my lip and stare anyway
And to think it all started with a simple song
I think today just may be the day
That you forget about him
And let me win
I can't wait to hear the noise you make when I go in
God, this feels too good to be a sin
But you're more to me than just a body and lips
Although, I will admit I love the feel of your hips
When I'm holding you while you tighten your grip
I swear to God you take me on the best trip
I might've gone insane
Because this isn't right
But it's all pleasure, no pain
So I won't even fight
Well, well, well, there's your first taste of Alex Kinsley! Hope you enjoyed what you read. Here's the scene from RED that inspired this little piece. Only a few more weeks until RED's Valentine's Day release!
Alex:
Control
It
was a stupid decision but I make it anyway. Lust took over and I did something
that I thought I could never do. I keep telling myself we’re not even a full
eight years apart but it doesn’t make me feel any better. She’s not even
eighteen. I knew we’d go this far I just pictured it happening a year from now.
She tried so hard to ignore me the entire time we were together and that only
made me want her more.
It was the song. Hearing her voice
sing lyrics that hit so close to home didn’t help. It’s not just lust, I
actually like her but I won’t be able to show it to anyone. I’m not worried too
much about her boyfriend because they’re still young. They’re bound to break up
eventually, right?
We didn’t speak for the entire car
ride. She didn’t even say that she’ll see me later. I sit in my studio alone
and roll a joint. God knows I need one. I play her track again and close my
eyes as I inhale. I picture everything that happened in full detail from
beginning to end. I can’t wait to see her again.
Relatives: Marsha West (Mother), Garrett West (Father), Jeffrey West (Brother)
Relationship Status: Single/Too busy having a good time to be tied down
Interest/Hobbies: Partying, Hanging out with friends, Modeling
Positive Character Traits: Robyn is as loyal as loyal can get. She
sticks by her friends and loved ones through any circumstance and never
judges anyone. She's easy to talk to and would drop whatever she's doing
at the drop of a dime for someone she cares about. Not only is she
loyal but she's also giving.
Negative Character Traits: Sometimes she parties too hard but she's sure to grow out of it. She's young, let her have her fun!
Choice Quote From RED: "Things may
not go back to the way they were immediately, but I think eventually
they will. It's just going to take some time..."
That's all I have for Robyn! Although she's a very minor character I
feel she still deserves a character profile. Robyn is a beautiful person
inside and out and I think we all can learn a thing or two from her.
Forget her partying ways; she's someone we all should strive to be more
like. As a reminder, RED comes out this Valentine's Day (February 14th) and is the second part to A Tragic Heart (which by the way will have a new cover for its re-release) so I strongly urge you all to catch up. Until next time...
By the way, if Robyn was a song she'd be Right Here by Jhene Aiko!
Relatives: Mary Adams (Mother), Benjamin Adams (Father), Christina Adams (Sister), Jimi Adams (Brother)
Relationship Status: Single and free to roam
Interests/Hobbies: Music, Singing, Songwriting, Guitar. He's the lead singer of the band he's in with Alex Kinsley.
Positive Character Traits: He's caring and protective, especially when it comes to Alex. Alex
is like a brother to him so he's willing to go the distance for him. He
looks out for the ones he love and is a pretty loyal person.
Negative Character Traits: He can jump to conclusions often and sometimes may be quick to walk away.
Choice Quote From RED: "Maybe someday there'll be some miracle and
this will all be forgiven but for now it's too heavy and new."
...And that's all folks! Remember that RED
will be available on Valentine's Day and that it is the second part to A
Tragic Heart. It's pretty important you know the basis of the story
before you begin to read it. With that said, you can find A Tragic Heart
by clicking on the link. It's available on both Kindle and paperback.
Hope you all enjoyed these character profiles and poems from their POVs.
Hopefully you all feel like you know them a little better.
By the way, if David was a song he'd be "Bold As Love" by Jimi Hendrix
It's February which means this is my LAST character profile for RED. It's crazy how time flies, isn't it? I started this whole thing in July and now it's finally ending. RED will be available on Valentine's Day and I couldn't be any more excited/nervous. Anyway,this character profile is for another minor character in the novel. He's Alex's best friend and band mate. Here's David Nelson:
Full Name: David Gregory Nelson
Birthdate: April 8, 2002
Gender: Male
Age During RED: 24-26 years old
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 5'9
Weight: 154 lbs
Relatives: Mary Nelson (Mother), Benjamin Nelson (Father), Christina Nelson (Sister), Jimi Nelson (Brother)
Relationship Status: Single and free to roam
Interests/Hobbies: Music, Singing, Songwriting, Guitar. He's the lead singer of the band he's in with Alex Kinsley.
Positive Character Traits: He's caring and protective, especially when it comes to Alex. Alex is like a brother to him so he's willing to go the distance for him. He looks out for the ones he love and is a pretty loyal person.
Negative Character Traits: He can jump to conclusions often and sometimes may be quick to walk away.
Choice Quote From RED: "Maybe someday there'll be some miracle and this will all be forgiven but for now it's too heavy and new."
...And that's all folks! Remember that RED will be available on Valentine's Day and that it is the second part to A Tragic Heart. It's pretty important you know the basis of the story before you begin to read it. With that said, you can find A Tragic Heart by clicking on the link. It's available on both Kindle and paperback. Hope you all enjoyed these character profiles and poems from their POVs. Hopefully you all feel like you know them a little better.
By the way, if David was a song he'd be "Bold As Love" by Jimi Hendrix
I've actually been excited to create a poem from Alex's point of view for a while now. Alex is a very interesting character and I think he brings a fullness to RED. He's the antagonist in so many ways but he isn't all bad at the same time. Anyway, Alex gets himself into a pretty nasty situation (I won't give it up) and that's basically what this poem is about. Hope you enjoy it. And if you missed the last poem you can view it here.
I'm one second away from tearing off your clothes
Even though I know much better than this
It's the way your eyes look, the way your hair flows
I want to add you to my list
Isn't it okay if you act older than your age?
I mean, who would know if you don't tell?
Let's give a performance in my room, my bed will be the stage
I'll buy whatever it is you're willing to sell
And I know this is supposed to be wrong
But I bite my lip and stare anyway
And to think it all started with a simple song
I think today just may be the day
That you forget about him
And let me win
I can't wait to hear the noise you make when I go in
God, this feels too good to be a sin
But you're more to me than just a body and lips
Although, I will admit I love the feel of your hips
When I'm holding you while you tighten your grip
I swear to God you take me on the best trip
I might've gone insane
Because this isn't right
But it's all pleasure, no pain
So I won't even fight
Well, well, well, there's your first taste of Alex Kinsley! Hope you enjoyed what you read. Here's the scene from RED that inspired this little piece. Only a few more weeks until RED's Valentine's Day release!
Alex:
Control
It
was a stupid decision but I make it anyway. Lust took over and I did something
that I thought I could never do. I keep telling myself we’re not even a full
eight years apart but it doesn’t make me feel any better. She’s not even
eighteen. I knew we’d go this far I just pictured it happening a year from now.
She tried so hard to ignore me the entire time we were together and that only
made me want her more.
It was the song. Hearing her voice
sing lyrics that hit so close to home didn’t help. It’s not just lust, I
actually like her but I won’t be able to show it to anyone. I’m not worried too
much about her boyfriend because they’re still young. They’re bound to break up
eventually, right?
We didn’t speak for the entire car
ride. She didn’t even say that she’ll see me later. I sit in my studio alone
and roll a joint. God knows I need one. I play her track again and close my
eyes as I inhale. I picture everything that happened in full detail from
beginning to end. I can’t wait to see her again.
New week, new poem! This one is coming from Ronan's POV and it's a bit of a love poem.Ronan is Peyton's love interest in the novel but their relationship is nothing short of rocky and passionate. There's so much love there but there's also a lot to worry about. RED will be out on Valentine's Day and you can check out the final cover for it here (just click on the word "here"). For now check out My Defeat and if you missed last week's you can view it here.
Today I saw the clearest view
The best part of it was looking at you
You're someone I could love forever
But that's only if you give us a chance to be together
We can take it slow if you'd like
Because I know how much you love to put up a fight
That's one of the many things I love about you
It's never easy, no matter what I do
And you're my favorite song on repeat
You're my demise, my defeat
There was just something about the way you smile
The way your green eyes made it all worth while
There's so much love yet so much doubt
Your eyes wander and I can't figure you out
Yet I want to love you for an eternity
I say that with all certainty
You're the photograph I stare at all day
No matter what you do I won't have it any other way
I can be so much more than the others
I want to be so much more than your lover
The way you hurt me feels so good
I guess I wouldn't change it if I could
So I'll let you be my defeat, my demise
Just say you love me while looking me in the eyes
Here's the scene from RED that inspired My Defeat. I hope you all enjoy it and remember to pick up your copy of RED on Valentine's Day!
Ilaugh
to myself when Peyton purposely interrupts mine and Tara’s conversation. She
can pretend she doesn’t have feelings for me but it’s so obvious that she does.
I’ve never been a guy with a huge ego but I have enough confidence to know that
I can have almost any girl in this school. They’ve been trying since day one
and I have been successfully ignoring them all just for her.
The
moment I see the girl with hair as red as communism, and eyes greener
than the most well-watered grass, I know what I want. I’ve heard all of the
rumors and know about all of the guys but her past doesn’t mean a thing to me.
She’s beautiful and confident and I just want her to share it all with me.
It
amazes me how she can pretend that I’m invisible to her. She’s been my best
friend for the past few weeks and every day I fall more in love with her.
He
doesn’t deserve her. Marcus is an asshole and I know that she knows this. She
says he treats her well but I know she notices how he talks about other girls
and how he stares at them while she’s with him. She deserves so much better.
I
wish she’d just let me want her and love her the way I do in my mind. It breaks
my heart slowly every day that I have to wait for her, but if waiting is what
it takes, then that’s what I’ll do. I wish I could tell her how beautiful I
think she is and how no photograph I’ve ever taken can measure up to her
beauty. What I would give to photograph her every day for the rest of my life.
“What
are you doing tonight?” I whisper, leaning closer to her.
I
love the view that’s right next to me. It’s more beautiful than any landscape
in the rural parts of Ireland. I swear a window’s frame or glass has never seen
anything so flawless.
“Date
with Marcus,” she answers after taking a quick glance at me.
“What
about tomorrow?”
“I
don’t know.”
“Movies
at my place? It’s awfully lonely in that big house by myself. I know you’d hate
yourself if I got so depressed I drove myself insane.”
She
smiles and my heart shatters inside of my chest.
“Sure,
tomorrow at your place is fine. Now let me pay attention, at least one of us
would have to know what we’re doing,” she whispers while looking at me from the
corner of her eyes.
It's official! The final cover for RED is here! I love this cover so much because I feel like it's attractive yet it also depicts the main character Peyton so perfectly. Of course, the background is red but I love the glittery look it has to it because it almost makes you want to touch it. It's symbolic of how Peyton is. Beautiful and eye catching on the outside but when you get close enough to touch, it's pretty rough; kind of like the saying, "all that glitters is not gold." The original cover for RED was just a plain red background with black bold letters. This cover follows the same concept but it has a bit more pizazz! My sister says she thinks of ruby slippers and that's totally acceptable too. It's more simple than the new cover for A Tragic Heart but it's just as beautiful too. This makes me excited for the cover to the third installment of the series, Turn It Off! Anyway, take a look at the final cover for RED below:
Last week I shorted you guys and didn't give you a poem from a character's POV or a new scene from RED. This week I'm making up for it! This poem comes from Jackson's POV and it's a little out of his character. Anyone who remembers Jackson from A Tragic Heart knows that he has the rep of being the cool brother; the laid back one who Taylor confided in. Well, he's the same person in RED only this time Peyton (Taylor and Peyton's daughter) confides in him instead. Usually he's the upbeat, awesome uncle/brother everyone loves but this poem shows a more somber side to him. It's a side you never see much of and he only lets it out in private. Here's Reminisce:
Sidenote: If you missed the previous poem you can view it here!
In my mind I can see your face so clearly
The years went by but it all still feels the same
I can live an eternity & I'll still miss you severely
Nothing can replace you, none of my fortune and fame
I gasp for air because you're not here
It's like your memory chokes me until I can't breathe
Losing you was always my biggest fear
Your memory haunts me, I can barely speak
I never thought it would all end like this
You, untouchable, while I suffer in silence
Living everyday is a hit or miss
There's an inner battle, I suffer the violence
Now I sit back and reminisce
Nostalgia sends me into a dark place
I'm so sorry you felt you had to go out like this
I would give it all just to see your face
And she's dying here without you
But I don't want to place blame
But there's nothing I can do
Nothing was ever the same
I can't breathe without you but I have no choice...
Here's the scene from RED that inspired Reminisce. It's Jackson's inner monologue after he holds a conversation with Peyton. RED is set to be released this Valentine's Day (February 14, 2015)! Any Peyton that is in bold letters refers to the Peyton from A Tragic Heart.
My time with Peyton results in me needing
some alone time anyway. My stomach is in knots and there is a huge lump in my
throat. I head to my room and lock the door. I close my eyes and exhale trying
to make the pain go away but it’s stubborn. It wants to hang around for a
little while longer.
Almost seventeen years later and the pain is
still as arresting as it was the day I found out. That day when Mason called me
to tell me that he found Taylor in a pool of her own blood with a giant knife
sticking out of her chest. I didn’t want to believe that she took her own life,
as it would have been easier to know that someone else was to blame. I hated
blaming my own sister for her death.
I remember it so clearly. I couldn’t speak,
my mouth was dry and the lump in my throat prevented me from forming words.
This feeling that I am feeling right now is all too familiar.
My brain shut down on me. Taylor was my
best friend and to hear Mason tell me that she was no longer with me was my
biggest fear. I never imagined a world without Taylor. I’ve tried to several
times before but the thoughts were in flashes. I never took the time to ponder
how I would go on without her because I knew it would hurt too much.
I was angry. Why wouldn’t she call me like
she normally did? Why didn’t she think of me? If she wasn’t going to stay for
her baby girl, why not stay for me?
Matt, my bass guitarist had to pull me
together. I had a show that night and it was too late to cancel. I had to go on
stage in front of thousands of people and try my best to smile. I broke down
during every break throughout the set. I guess that moment made me a stronger
person because nothing could stop me from performing now. Performing through
that circumstance taught me how to play through anything with a smile on my
face.
Taylor was too young to take on the
responsibilities she placed before herself. She should have enjoyed life as a
teenager but I could understand why it was so difficult for her. So many
unfortunate things happened to her before she reached her fifteenth birthday. I
was her only confidant and when I left to tour after high school, she felt
alone. Part of me blamed myself for her problems but I knew I had to live my
life too. I just wished that there was something else I could have done. I did
my best to stay in contact with her but some days were harder than others. She
never understood just how much I loved her. Words weren’t enough.
I would take my own life just to save hers
if I had a choice. At the funeral I could barely stand to look at her lying
there. I wanted to believe that she was only sleeping and it was some sort of
sick joke but my gut reminded me that it was all real. The truth is I almost
didn’t show up. Mason forced me to come. I called him the day of the service to
tell him that I wasn’t going. Ten minutes later he was at my doorstep forcing
me to get ready. He told me that I’d regret it later.
I told him that the thought alone was
killing me and I wouldn’t be able to take seeing her in that state. It didn’t
make sense to me that I’d never see my little sister again. It didn’t make
sense that I’d never hear her voice calling me ever again or that she no longer
existed. It didn’t make sense to me that she would take her own life…although
it made perfect sense to me.
She loved Peyton more than her own life. She loved him so much that she would
choose selfishness over thinking about the ones who still loved her that were
here on earth. She couldn’t have thought about what it would have done to me.
She mentioned me in her suicide note but it wasn’t enough. She couldn’t tell me
to stay strong and that she loved me if she was going to do something so
drastic. She didn’t understand and every day I ask God to show her mercy
because she didn’t know what she was doing. She wasn’t in her right mind. I ask
Him every day to punish me rather than her. I deserve it more than she does.
She was good throughout her lifetime. She made one irreversible mistake…just
one. I plead all the time for Him to go easy on her. She needed grace more than
anyone else I’ve ever come in contact with.
Peyton
died in a tragic way. No one could have
predicted it and everyone asked “why him?” He was only seventeen and had so
much life ahead of him. He was supposed to be right next to me selling out
arenas. The kid had undeniable talent that was out of this world. He obviously
passed it onto his daughter. I think she’s more like him than Taylor. She has
his hair and eyes…it’s almost scary. Anyone who knew Peyton could tell that she was all him. She has some of Taylor’s
attitude and slight traits in her personality but her nature was every bit of
her dad’s.
Her rebellious temperament, her musical
ability, her wild ways are all Peyton.
He slowed down a lot after meeting Taylor. In many ways she saved him too.
Taylor always credited Peytonfor her happiness but he claimed that
he was a changed man because of her. He gave up his heavy drinking, drug use,
partying and women just for her. He told me all about his past life before
Taylor while we were on tour. In fact, his past life was eerily similar to his
daughter’s present life.
We became really good friends and I looked
forward to having him as a brother-in-law. I already saw him as the brother I
never had. Damn, Peyton if you never left, Taylor would still be here and if
Taylor was still here your daughter would be okay.
There’s no time to play the blaming game.
All is how it is and there’s no changing that. We have to learn how to deal
with the present without falling down…and if we fall we need to learn how to
pick ourselves up. If not for ourselves,
for someone who cares about us. I wish Taylor would have known that. I wish
I would have told her that the day I visited her a little after Peyton was
born. Maybe those words could have saved her life. She always thought highly of
my opinions and advice.
The pain that I’m feeling isn’t showing any
signs of letting up anytime soon. My thoughts race a
million miles per hour
leaving me sitting at the edge of my bed with tears falling from my eyes. And the pain never goes away...
January is here which means it's time for another character profile (this SHOULD be the second to last one since RED is slated for a Valentine's Day release). This profile is for a minor character in RED but she plays an important part in the main character, Peyton's life. She's her best friend and she's as loyal as they come. Allow me to introduce you all to Robyn West!
Full Name: Robyn Victoria West
Birth Date: July 20, 2010
Gender: Female
Age During RED: 16-18 years old
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Brown
Height: 5'8
Weight: 125 lbs
Relatives: Marsha West (Mother), Garrett West (Father), Jeffrey West (Brother)
Relationship Status: Single/Too busy having a good time to be tied down
Interest/Hobbies: Partying, Hanging out with friends, Modeling
Positive Character Traits: Robyn is as loyal as loyal can get. She sticks by her friends and loved ones through any circumstance and never judges anyone. She's easy to talk to and would drop whatever she's doing at the drop of a dime for someone she cares about. Not only is she loyal but she's also giving.
Negative Character Traits: Sometimes she parties too hard but she's sure to grow out of it. She's young, let her have her fun!
Choice Quote From RED: "Things may not go back to the way they were immediately, but I think eventually they will. It's just going to take some time..."
That's all I have for Robyn! Although she's a very minor character I feel she still deserves a character profile. Robyn is a beautiful person inside and out and I think we all can learn a thing or two from her. Forget her partying ways; she's someone we all should strive to be more like. As a reminder, RED comes out this Valentine's Day (February 14th) and is the second part to A Tragic Heart (which by the way will have a new cover for its re-release) so I strongly urge you all to catch up. Until next time...
By the way, if Robyn was a song she'd be Right Here by Jhene Aiko!
Another week, another poem and scene from RED. Being that it's New Year's Eve, I think a poem about making mistakes and trying to learn and get better from them will be appropriate. We all have something we want to work out for the New Year. This poem is from Adalyn's point of view. It's called Mistakes. If you missed the poem from last week you can view it here.
Mistakes are lessons
Mistakes are certain
But it's always ugly revealing what's behind the curtain
He wasn't ready for it
Neither was I
But I caused it and left us to die
Mistakes are normal
Mistakes cause heartache
But I didn't mean for his heart to break
He was never there
And I was lonely
In my heart, he's my one and only
I did something that I can't take back
There's no way of erasing the facts
But where's forgiveness when you need it?
I wait by the phone and I sit and sit
Mistakes are things we all must make
Mistakes are the things that raises the stakes
They test you when things are low
They make sure things are never the same
Mistakes cause you to remember you're the one to blame
I'm tired of pointing fingers
I just want us to be us again
But the trials from my mistake won't ever end
You left me all alone
And I may deserve it
But let's not act like you were perfect
You dreamed about her while you were awake
I was second best and that's what I can't take
You put me last when I should've been first
You buried me with her in the dirt
Now I'm done with pointing fingers
I just want to make you see
That I wasn't the only one who did something ugly
You raised her from the dead
While I was alive
So I made a mistake...that I can't deny
Here's the scene from RED that inspired Mistakes. Remember RED will be out this Valentine's Day.
“Adalyn,
what’s going on?” he says frantically.
“I
don’t know what happened but Lila said-”I began to speak in my weak voice before he interrupts.
“Where
were you when this happened? Why don’t you know what happened?” He raises his
voice.
“Um,
Mason I know you’re upset but you may want to tone it down a little,” Peyton
warns as she touches his shoulder.
He
takes a deep breath and I decide it’s a safe time to speak.
“Look
Mason, I know that you’re upset and you have so many reasons to be right now. It
was a lapse in judgment on my part and-”
“Yeah,
Adalyn you’ve been having a lot of those lately, haven’t you?” he snaps at me.
I
look at Peyton whose face tells me how sorry she is for everything. I don’t
know what to say to him. Everything I say to him is going to be wrong.
“I’ll
stay here just in case someone comes out with news on Ryan. I’ll let the nurse
know that I’m here with you guys. You two should head outside and talk this
out,” she offers in the kindest way possible.
Mason
seems hesitant about her suggestion but eventually obliges. I follow behind him
like a lost puppy and can’t help but think how much I’ve missed him.
“Now
will you let me explain?” I ask the moment we reached outside the hospital’s
entrance.
“Go
ahead,” he responds coldly.
“I
let the kids play outside for a while so I could get a few things together
around the house. I had no one there to watch them so I told Lila to look out for
her brothers being that she’s the oldest. Everything was fine. After I finished
cleaning up and making sure everything was in order I looked at the time and
saw that it was time for them to eat lunch. Before I went to the kitchen I went
to the backyard to check on them and told them that it was time for them to
come inside. I only left for a few minutes. I honestly don’t know what happened
in that short time span but I heard screaming from the kitchen so I ran as fast
as I could and-” I try to hold back my tears but I’m not strong enough.
My
words strangle me causing my voice to become inaudible. I swallow harshly and
struggle to finish my sentence. Mason shows no signs of sympathy.
“That’s
when I saw it. Ryan was floating face down in the pool. I immediately pulled
him out and started CPR. Lila said she wasn’t paying attention and he and Nick
were running around the pool. Nick said they wanted to see who could make the
biggest splash by diving in and Ryan went first. Nick said it took him a while
to come up and when he did he wasn’t moving. They know they can’t swim, I just
don’t understand why they would do something like this,” I finish while wiping
my tears away from my eyes.
“I
know why. Because they’re kids Adalyn! That’s why you should be watching them
at all times! Why would you let them play outside by themselves? Especially the
backyard! You know we never let them back there alone! How could you be so God
damn stupid and careless?”
“You
know what, Mason? Maybe if I had some help this wouldn’t have happened! Maybe
if you’d come home sometime I wouldn’t have to deal with things like this! I
made a mistake and I’m so sorry! It won’t happen again!” I shout back.
“You’re
damn right it won’t happen again Adalyn because I’m getting custody of my children!
I didn’t want life to change for them too drastically but this stunt that you
pulled leaves me no choice at all. I’m calling my lawyer first thing in the
morning!”
Something
comes over me. I’m not sure what it is but it takes over my entire body. I’ve
never felt anger rise inside of me so quickly. He wants to challenge me for my
children. This is what we’ve come to.
I
draw my hand back and smack him harder than I thought I could. The left side of
his face turns red in an instant. For the first time in a long time, I don’t
feel sorry.
“What
the fuck?!” he shouts loud enough for the entire parking lot to hear.
“If
you think that you’re going to take my children away from me and I won’t fight
you, you have another thing coming to you, Mason! I made one mistake by
cheating on you but you don’t get to take it out on them! What happened today
could have happened if either one of us was watching them. Don’t try to make me
sound like a bad parent when I was the one who practically raised them while
you were always away working somewhere or obsessing over your dead ex-wife!” I
state pointing my index finger at him as if I’m reprimanding a child.
“You
have no right to talk to me this way, Adalyn,” he says in a much deeper tone.
Mason
can be scary when he’s angry but I don’t let it bother me. I have to show him
that I’m capable of being stronger than him.
“You’re
an asshole, Mason! You want to know why I’ve been so side tracked lately? It’s
because of you. It’s because you won’t talk to me or even look at me! It’s
because you’re not even man enough to confront what happened between us.
Instead you want to run away as if that’s going to fix things. Well it’s not!
You ran away from Taylor, you ran
away from Peyton, and now you’re
running away from your family. Stop running and learn to deal with the cards
given to you! Whether you like it or not you need to come back home so we can
settle things like adults. You can keep your new fancy condo just in case you
decide we can’t make it. I really don’t give a damn about the decisions you
make anymore, Mason, but at least respect your family enough to decide
together. You may not want me right now and it’s completely okay with me
because at this moment I’m not sure if I want to be with you either!”
Before
he can speak another word Peyton comes out to tell us that the doctor would
like to see us. I don’t wait for Mason to make a move. Instead I quickly walk
back into the entrance of the hospital ignoring everything else around me.
Mason can rot in hell for all I care. He’s not going to get away with trying to
take my babies away from me. They are all I have left.
It's another week which means it's time for another poem from a character's point of view. This time I'm choosing to write a poem from the point of view of the main character in RED. This is a poem by Peyton (Taylor and Peyton's daughter) after she has an altercation with one of her beaus. It's called Battered and Shattered. If you missed the poem from last week from Mason's POV, you can check it out here.
Sitting on the hard, cold ground alone
Scared, battered and shattered
I don't know who I am
I have no one to call
And the night is black
I'm just scared, battered and shattered
They're asking me questions
That I don't have the answers to
Alone, battered and shattered
My tears do the talking for me
Words won't come out my throat
I'm alone, battered and shattered
I've made my mistakes
But do I deserve this?
Confused, battered and shattered
My blood runs red
And my mind is running wild
I'm confused, battered and shattered
"Tell me your name"
"Do you have any family?"
Just leave me battered and shattered
I've come this far on my own
No one to guide me
He left me battered and shattered
Here's the scene from RED, Battered and Shattered was inspired by. Hope you enjoy it and remember RED will be released this Valentine's Day!
I
don’t recognize myself. It’s more than that
bad. It’s horrific. I become speechless and let my tears do the talking for me.
I want to let something out. I want words to come out of my mouth. Suddenly, I
hear screaming, a female’s voice that echoes through the night. It takes me a
while to figure out that it’s my own. I can’t believe he did this to me.
The
police and ambulance arrive as Robyn tries her best to console me. This can’t be
happening. This can’t be real. I must be dreaming. An officer and a paramedic run
up to me and bombard me with questions that I can’t answer right then. The
paramedic walks me over to the ambulance and sits me in the back of the truck.
He shines a light on my face and gently touches it.
“The
most we can do is treat these wounds. You have a contusion on the upper left
corner of your face but you’ll heal. Let’s get you to the hospital. You’ll need
X-rays and the police can take your report there. Do you have anyone we can
call?”
I
nod my head yes and he calls the police officer over to the truck. They all
look so sympathetic. I wonder if they all have daughters and are imagining what
if this happened to them. I’m afraid to witness what Mason would do.
“I’m
going to need a phone number, your mom or dad?” the officer says trying not to
look too concerned.
“I
don’t have a mom or a dad, just cousins.” I speak lowly in a monotone voice.
“I’m
going to need someone’s number,” he replies.
“I
tried to call Adalyn. She’s my cousin’s wife but she didn’t pick up.”
“What
about your cousin?” he asks now seeming concerned.
“He’s
in California on business.”
“Well,
I’ll tell you what. Give me both of their numbers and I’ll try my best to
contact them.”
I
give the officer all of my information and he says he’ll follow me to the
hospital to get the report after I’ve been fully examined. I lie back on the
stretcher as the ambulance drives away from the dark and lonely street that has
drops of my soul
scattered on it.
I
try to close my eyes but every time I do I see the image of Marcus. I’m not a
crier but lately my emotions seem to be taking control of me. The ride is
silent and I’ve never felt so alone in my life. How do I fix this? How do I
walk into school? What will Mason and Adalyn think? God, I don’t want all of
these answers at one time because that means there will be problems to go along
with it.
Young Mason 
Mason as he would appear in 
