My Defeat (A Poem From Ronan's POV + New Scene From RED)

New week, new poem! This one is coming from Ronan's POV and it's a bit of a love poem. Ronan is Peyton's love interest in the novel but their relationship is nothing short of rocky and passionate. There's so much love there but there's also a lot to worry about. RED will be out on Valentine's Day and you can check out the final cover for it here (just click on the word "here"). For now check out My Defeat and if you missed last week's you can view it here.

Today I saw the clearest view

The best part of it was looking at you

You're someone I could love forever

But that's only if you give us a chance to be together

We can take it slow if you'd like

Because I know how much you love to put up a fight

That's one of the many things I love about you

It's never easy, no matter what I do

And you're my favorite song on repeat

You're my demise, my defeat

There was just something about the way you smile

The way your green eyes made it all worth while

There's so much love yet so much doubt

Your eyes wander and I can't figure you out

Yet I want to love you for an eternity

I say that with all certainty 

You're the photograph I stare at all day

No matter what you do I won't have it any other way

I can be so much more than the others

I want to be so much more than your lover

The way you hurt me feels so good

I guess I wouldn't change it if I could

So I'll let you be my defeat, my demise

Just say you love me while looking me in the eyes

Here's the scene from RED that inspired My Defeat. I hope you all enjoy it and remember to pick up your copy of RED on Valentine's Day!

I laugh to myself when Peyton purposely interrupts mine and Tara’s conversation. She can pretend she doesn’t have feelings for me but it’s so obvious that she does. I’ve never been a guy with a huge ego but I have enough confidence to know that I can have almost any girl in this school. They’ve been trying since day one and I have been successfully ignoring them all just for her.

The moment I see the girl with hair as red as communism, and eyes greener than the most well-watered grass, I know what I want. I’ve heard all of the rumors and know about all of the guys but her past doesn’t mean a thing to me. She’s beautiful and confident and I just want her to share it all with me.

It amazes me how she can pretend that I’m invisible to her. She’s been my best friend for the past few weeks and every day I fall more in love with her.

He doesn’t deserve her. Marcus is an asshole and I know that she knows this. She says he treats her well but I know she notices how he talks about other girls and how he stares at them while she’s with him. She deserves so much better.

I wish she’d just let me want her and love her the way I do in my mind. It breaks my heart slowly every day that I have to wait for her, but if waiting is what it takes, then that’s what I’ll do. I wish I could tell her how beautiful I think she is and how no photograph I’ve ever taken can measure up to her beauty. What I would give to photograph her every day for the rest of my life.

“What are you doing tonight?” I whisper, leaning closer to her.

I love the view that’s right next to me. It’s more beautiful than any landscape in the rural parts of Ireland. I swear a window’s frame or glass has never seen anything so flawless.

“Date with Marcus,” she answers after taking a quick glance at me.

“What about tomorrow?”

“I don’t know.”

“Movies at my place? It’s awfully lonely in that big house by myself. I know you’d hate yourself if I got so depressed I drove myself insane.”

She smiles and my heart shatters inside of my chest.

“Sure, tomorrow at your place is fine. Now let me pay attention, at least one of us would have to know what we’re doing,” she whispers while looking at me from the corner of her eyes.

If only she knew.