Welcome To Adulthood (OctPoWriMo2015-Day 12)

Am I crazy for thinking there's more?

Because I feel like this can't be all

Could I find it if I knew what to look for?

Don't say there's nothing behind this wall

Everything contains something deeper

Fear would love to prove that theory wrong

Going the other route because it's cheaper

Hoping what I need won't pass me along

Impossible things happen all the time

"Just believe," they all say

Kinder things have happened to evil souls

Let's not talk about that today

My mind is a wandering battle

Never ending at any point

Over bearing and keeps me rattled

Promising my dreams and fears are joint

Quiet moments do me no good

Rationalization is my worst enemy

Sometimes I don't think as I should

Trying to find a permanent remedy

Understanding is the hardest

Volunteering my sanity

Wishing on stardust

Xanax helps my inhumanity 

Yelling my loudest won't do me any good

Zookeepers stand by to lock up this animal inside 

The prompt today was to create a poem with 26 lines using different letters of the alphabet. I decided to go in alphabetical order.

Surprise Me! (OctPoWriMo2015-Day 11)

I look in the mirror

"Surprise me," you say

But I don't know if I can

It never worked out this way

"Just give it a shot"

"Go ahead and try it"

Got to learn to take risks

Because you never know what you'll get

But I'm glad I listened

And put myself out there

Because sometimes you're right

And there's nothing to fear

Untamed Heart (OctPoWriMo2015-Day 10)

Ink me good

Or bad if you choose

I have an untamed heart

That will never lose

Don't go by guidelines

I don't believe in rules

I'm an untamed heart

I see from a different view

Don't want what you want

Don't care what you say

My heart is untamed

It'll always be this way

You tell me to grow up

But rebellion isn't a phase

My heart's not tamed

I was born a renegade

This is who I am

It's in my blood

My heart can't be tamed

That's how it always was 

There's Fire In You... (OctPoWriMo2015-Day 9)

Sparks fly

I let them ignite

Firestorms were always my favorite

Water dries

And you can't see the wind

And sometimes the earth cracks beneath your feet

But fire burns

And it spreads throughout the night

Destroying anything that gets in it's way

It doesn't stop at any cost

I always admired that

Fire is everywhere

In your eyes

Your gut

Your heart

Birthed from nothing but just a tiny spark

Now it's a four alarm fire

And it can't be stopped

There's no running

No hiding

Just spread your arms and embrace it

To the millionth degree...

The prompt for today was the elements. 

Color Me Black (OctPoWriMo2015-Day 8)

Black is what I always was

So I decided to embrace it

Heartache, mystery and sophisticastion

They all can sum me up

Just a little bit

But I know what color I am, it's a perfect fit

I'm the color people stay away from

They can't read me

To them, I'm a loaded gun

But I'm not here to talk about weapons

Because the words I write are plenty

24 years and they still don't get me

They think this means I'm dark on the inside

Yet this may be true

But there's still a light that shines

Because black doesn't mean I'm bad

Just that I'm a mystery

I think that's what gets them mad

My shade is too dark to see through

And they're afraid of what they can't see

So they try to mold me

But I was never one for conformity

So color me bad or color me good

It doesn't matter, I'll still be misunderstood

The prompt was "Color Me Good" and to write about a color that sparks a memory or a feeling. I've always been black which is associated with mystery and sophistication. By the way, I do remember the 90's group Color Me Bad (as was referenced in the prompt). http://www.octpowrimo.com/

Some Things You Can't Tell (OctPoWriMo2015-Day 7)

They said to stay away

You'll be no good for each other

Neither of us listened that day

Now we wouldn't choose another 

They listed the reasons why

Aired out your dirty laundry

But I didn't bat an eye

That's when they came after me

But you kept still and stayed

And that made me smile

We stopped caring what they say

5 years...I think we lasted a while

Much longer than they thought

Turns out we fit well

They never found the heartache that they sought

I guess some things you just can't tell...

The prompt for today was the road less traveled. We had to think of a time we didn't listen to popular opinion and ended up thankful we didn't. 

Freedom (OctPoWriMo2015-Day 6)

Freedom 

Isn't

What I need 

It's more than a 

Necessity, I

Crave it

Want it

Need it all

The time until

It consumes my mind

I need

A change

Of life or

A life of change

Things can't stay the same

FREEDOM

Not Enough (OctPoWriMo2015-Day 5)

Screaming and fighting isn't enough to keep me away from you

Crying and hard feelings aren't strong enough to stop this feeling

Because it's always you I run to, no matter what you do

As much as I hate you, there's always a feeling of love I'm concealing

Heartbreak and discomfort doesn't stop our world from going round

Painful words and blows won't kill our moments

Because I hear so much even when you don't make a sound

When you're too angry to speak, you're never my opponent

Because this is what true love looks like

Even during the worst times

We fight

For us, for who we want to be, for who we are together...

The prompt was based off of a line from Taylor's Swift's song "You Are In Love". It's actually my favorite part of the song and I would always play it over and over which is why I found it funny to be the prompt for day 5. 

"You understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars

And why I've spent my whole life trying to put it into words"-Taylor Swift

It Was All A Dream (OctPoWriMo2015-Day 4)

I was there and so were you

We had it all and no one had to approve

I owned my life and you owned yours

It was magical and we were our own cure

Everything was where it belonged

I was happy and you came along

Not a thing was out of place

We owned it all, our time and space

But things are rarely what they seem

It was time to wake up, it was all a dream

I long for a world where that feeling can be real

But that dream hit me hard, I need time to heal

There needs to be a world with simple joy and magic

There's something in my gut telling me I have to have it

Because if I don't it can be the death of me

Because if I don't, all I'll ever have is a dream

Waiting...(OctPoWriMo2015-Day 3)

I'm sitting here waiting

Just waiting for something to happen

I showed up, I fought my way here

Did the opportunity disappear?

Did I blink and miss it?

I thought this was it, the perfect fit

"Showing up is half the battle"

That's what they always say

Show up and get on the saddle

Ride it for what it's worth

But it ain't much here

It's not much there...

I thought waiting may not be enough

But they say waiting makes you tough

It gives you thicker skin

But I learned it's not about the outside but what's within

And even sometimes that ain't enough

Because we have no say over this kind of stuff

Where we'll end up

Who we are

We can try to change it but there's no guarantee

No matter what happens there's always a fee

So go ahead, we can dream and dream

But some dreams will always be incomplete

 

I Just Need You To Hit Me (OctPoWriMo2015-Day 2)

It was dark outside

Not a light in sight

I just wanted you to hit me with all your might

Do something, say something

Don't be a mannequin

It was either sink or swim

I egged you on

I instigated as the night faded

I just needed you to hit me, make me jaded

I'm laughing at you

I'm twisting your arm

Just hit me, do me some harm

You finally did it

I acted like it didn't hurt, wiped the blood with my shirt

But this is foreplay for me because I always like to flirt

Before I get into it

Before I enjoy it

I just need you to hit me...

The inspiration came from watching a scene from one of my favorite movies, Fight Club (it's a tie between that and The Dark Knight for the #1 slot). I watched it on mute and came up with this.

There's Something In The Clouds Tonight... (OctPoWriMo2015-Day 1)

The sky is dark

But the night is light

There's something in the clouds tonight

Can't tell what it is

Or what I want out of life

But there's something in the clouds tonight

That makes me think I can be more

It makes me dream 'til my mind is sore

But I can't see past my initial sight

Still, there's something in the clouds tonight

The wind is getting icy

And the air is colder, dear

Sometimes I wish my ambitions would disappear

For some reason, this evening I want them to stay

Maybe I can keep them into the next day

I hope it's not gone before the morning light

Because I like whatever it is in the clouds tonight