It Was All A Dream (OctPoWriMo2015-Day 4)

I was there and so were you

We had it all and no one had to approve

I owned my life and you owned yours

It was magical and we were our own cure

Everything was where it belonged

I was happy and you came along

Not a thing was out of place

We owned it all, our time and space

But things are rarely what they seem

It was time to wake up, it was all a dream

I long for a world where that feeling can be real

But that dream hit me hard, I need time to heal

There needs to be a world with simple joy and magic

There's something in my gut telling me I have to have it

Because if I don't it can be the death of me

Because if I don't, all I'll ever have is a dream

Waiting...(OctPoWriMo2015-Day 3)

I'm sitting here waiting

Just waiting for something to happen

I showed up, I fought my way here

Did the opportunity disappear?

Did I blink and miss it?

I thought this was it, the perfect fit

"Showing up is half the battle"

That's what they always say

Show up and get on the saddle

Ride it for what it's worth

But it ain't much here

It's not much there...

I thought waiting may not be enough

But they say waiting makes you tough

It gives you thicker skin

But I learned it's not about the outside but what's within

And even sometimes that ain't enough

Because we have no say over this kind of stuff

Where we'll end up

Who we are

We can try to change it but there's no guarantee

No matter what happens there's always a fee

So go ahead, we can dream and dream

But some dreams will always be incomplete

 

Beta Waves (OctPoWriMo2014)-Day 27

Closing my eyes is my favorite thing to do

It's not that I'm lazy but I get to dream about you

If only I could still hold you near

This pain in my heart would disappear

You're only present in my wildest dreams

We're alive in a world where nothing is what it seems

I never knew that sleep could be so satisfying

The peace, the freedom is almost like I'm dying

But it happens in the best way that could exist

Because I get to see the one that I miss

Every night I get to smile

I get the chance to talk to you for a while

In reality, you're not even here with me

But that doesn't matter in my dreams

That's why being asleep is better than being awake

Touching things only my beta waves can create

I don't care if I only love a fantasy

I don't care if it contributes to my abnormality 

Because I'm happy that you're right in front of me

Even if I'm the only one who can see

I'm okay with living in a lie

As long as we never have to say goodbye

I can't let you go ever again

I don't think this heart would ever mend

The MonumenTour Was Monumental!

"You are what you love, not who loves you!" Fall Out Boy (Save Rock & Roll)

First off: the MonumenTour was the best concert I had the chance to go to since Paramore headlined the Honda Civic Tour in 2010! Not only did I get to rock out in the pit, only a couple of feet from the stage with my two favorite bands but I received words of inspiration. You know when you go somewhere and the person speaking seems like they took some insight from your life before forming their speech. That was the entire night for me this past Saturday. 

A major theme of the night was don't give up and any dream is possible no matter how stupid it may sound. The lead singer from New Politics stated, "this all started with a stupid dream but I am here today to tell you that sometimes stupidity is all you need!" WOW! That was the start of the night. Paramore and Fall Out Boy continued with their encouragement.

After suffering from countless rejections from literary agents, jobs, and the old fashion feeling of self-doubt, this message is exactly what I needed. It was almost as if I was meant to be there other than any other place in the world. As silly as it may sound, I felt singled out from the crowd. It was an emotional experience.

Paramore lit the place on fire when they sang Last Hope, Let The Flames Begin, and Part II (it's part 2 of Let The Flames Begin) back to back. All three songs are 'keep the faith' records that will keep you holding on even when your palms are bleeding. It's safe to say that everyone in the building felt the power and energy that poured out of the band. Those performances made me feel silly that I ever even thought of giving up. Just hearing over and over the lines from Last Hope, "it's just a spark but it's enough to keep me going," rebooted the motivation that I needed.

"This is how we'll dance when,
When they try to take us down
This is how we'll sing it.
This is how we'll stand when
When they burn our houses down.
This is what will be oh glory!"-Paramore (Let The Flames Begin) 

 

I thought I had all of the encouragement that I needed until it was time for Fall Out Boy to take on their set. Can I just say that I have always found Pete Wentz to be one of the most inspiring people of our generation? This guy has openly battled depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and suicidal attempts and somehow still managed to stand in front of a crowd and tell them how great life is. Multiple times throughout the night Pete reminded the crowd that giving up is never an option; most notably when he said, "we were just four crummy kids from the suburban parts of Chicago, so if we can do it, so can anyone in this crowd!" My favorite part was when he said, "you just gotta remember that sometimes before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger," quoting a lyric from their song Miss Missing You from their newest album Save Rock and Roll. That lyric has always set my heart on fire but something about hearing him say it in person meant a lot more. At that point, I was so revved up, giving up was no longer on my list of options. By the time the band went into Save Rock & Roll I was ready to fist pump and chant over and over, "Oh no! We won't go! 'Cause we don't know when to quit!" Something about that part of the song is now stronger than it's ever been.

"You know time crawls on when you're waiting for the song to start
So dance alone to the beat of your heart"-Fall Out Boy (The Phoenix)

 

The MonumenTour was not just a concert that was meant to be fun with loads of energy. It was more than just head banging and fists pumps for me. It reminded me that you can't wait for a perfect time because there's no such thing. Like Fall Out Boy says, "dance alone to the beat of your heart." That same night Pete Wentz tweeted, "Don't stop 'til you get it." It felt like a personal message from him to me because it was exactly what I needed to hear. I needed to hear that they were only four crummy kids with a dream because I'm one crummy kid standing alone in hundreds of rejections with a dream in my head and in my heart. It was good to know that New Politics thought that their dream was too big and stupid because that is exactly how I feel. Seeing each band live out their stupid dream made me believe in stupidity and stupidity is the best motivation you can have! Don't give up until your breathing stops!

I Have All These Dreams & I Don't Know What To Do With Them!

"Thank you, have a good day!" That's the line I have to say over and over again, countless times a day. It's a line I feared since I was small because I've always believed that I would have more. I always believed that I would do better.

Now I'm not knocking what anyone else does for a living but I am saying that for me, personally, it's not where I long to be. I graduated from college a year ago with honors and I thought I would be somewhere by now. Does this sound familiar to anyone?



Just the other day while I was in deep thought (this is how I spend 90% of my day), I hear my mind scream to myself, "I have all these dreams and I have no idea what to do with them!" Then, that's when I wondered how many other people must feel the same. While at work the other day, I took a look at everyone around me and wondered what their dreams once was and if they're actually living it. I began to feel sad for humanity thinking about how most of us settle for less when we deserve much more.

How many of us had dreams and goals but we never knew where to start so those dreams fizzled away or hid somewhere underneath? I know that I can't be the only one to feel this way. Think about all the other recent grads and even middle aged people who still have strong desires that are burning inside of them but everyday it gets dimmed by reality.



I don't plan on giving up and neither should you (whoever you are!). Our goals were set for a reason and although most of us aren't sure what that reason is, we're still hellbent on figuring it out. A life without me living my dream just doesn't make sense to me. After all of my hard work and the challenges I've been through, where I am currently at in my life doesn't make sense. I learned this to be true for a lot of people.

I followed the recipe for success since I was 4 years old and I know I'm not entitled to anything but I can't help but feel there must have been an error in the equation somewhere. Not bragging, but I am more knowledgeable than a lot of people I know, I'm savvy in almost every area, and I'm a hard worker. I'm creative and I'm always willing to go the extra mile just to reach a goal. I'm sure that explains a lot of you out there and this is why we deserve to cross the finish line of our dreams. We deserve more than a pat on the back or a simple 9-5 job that gets more redundant every day.



We have dreams and we have to figure out what to do with them!

This Is Living...

 "...Every step feels so brand new. It's hard to jump with no net but I've jumped and got no regret."

During the past two weeks I learned what living is and let me tell you...it's exactly what everyone hyped it up to be! Remember when I wrote about how important it is to dream and that daydreaming leads to living...I took my own advice and made my dreams into a reality.

I spent my last few weeks in Australia (my dream place), Dubai, and Italy. It was as if one day I was wishing and hoping to see Australia at least once in my lifetime and the next, I was petting Koalas and Kangaroos at Steve Irwin's zoo in Brisbane! I went sightseeing in Newcastle and skydiving in Picton, Australia. Most of my time was spent in Sydney where I met new people and got a new tattoo. 

It's not exactly what I did in Australia that made it memorable or that made it all worth it, it's what I learned. I learned about adventure and risk taking, but those weren't the most important lessons. The lesson that mattered the most to me was the lesson of learning to live. For so long, I was just simply existing in a world that would someday kill me and it wasn't until I actually went out to see the world that I learned there was an alternative to existing...and it's called LIVING!

For those of you who never experienced life, this is what it feels like: better than dreaming. When Dr. Seuss once said "you know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams" he didn't just mean falling in love with a significant other. For the first time ever, I felt like I was in love with life and I wouldn't trade it for anything. There is no greater feeling than doing exactly what you always dreamed of. There is no greater feeling than knowing that you can't get better than reality. There's something so rewarding when you can say to yourself "this is living..."

I've had my trying times and I had my moments where I wanted to not exist and give it all up but the last few weeks made me grateful that I decided to stick around. How could I give up the possibility of living my dreams and seeing more of the world than I ever thought of? My whole point is to say: never give up because your present is messy. Where you are right now doesn't depict where you will be or end up. Don't worry if you're not "living" at the moment, work on bringing yourself to life. Learn to say forget everything and everyone and do what makes you happy. Take the driver's seat so you can eventually let go and become the passenger and see all of the sights as you drive by. 

Getting lost in a new and foreign town was both amazing and scary. At one point I told my boyfriend "let's get lost and see things we didn't plan on seeing." It was during moments like this one that I realized how important learning to live is. Sometimes just learning to enjoy the ride is all you need to pick up on the lesson. 

This post wasn't meant to be long, it was meant to tell everyone else to learn the lesson that I learned over the past two weeks. I discovered that existing and living truly are two different concepts and we all should learn the second one before it's too late. Life is short but it can be filled with so many wonders if you let it in. Become the world's passenger and be sure to look around and enjoy the view.

Enjoy a few pictures from my trip to Australia while I made stops in Dubai and Italy!

 The famous Aquarium in Sydney, Australia.

 Steve Irwin's zoo in Brisbane, Australia!

 Darling Harbour, Sydney.

 Darling Harbour.

 A sleeping Koala

 Newcastle sight.

 Sunset in Australia from our cruise ship.

 The Italian Alps, Milan, Italy.

Don't Wake Me Up from Daydreaming...

"I wanna get out and build my own home on a street where reality is not much different from dreams I've had. A dream is all I have..."

 

They always tell us not to sleep for too long; it's the ones that's wide awake that will take the winning. Always keep your eyes wide open because that way you won't miss a thing. I say, close your eyes and keep them shut tight. Who needs to see when you can dream?

 

Being wide awake doesn't allow you to think of anything new. Staying awake only allows you to see what's in front of you, but dreaming gets you everywhere. Dreaming gives you the greatest ideas and the adrenaline to keep you going. Dreaming is sometimes all we have and if we never close our eyes, we would never know what lies inside of our minds. 

 

Just because you need to open your eyes sometimes doesn't mean you always have to be wide awake. It's okay to be alert but you have to allow yourself room to daydream and see visions through your eyelids. They say dreamers are fools or they have their heads in the clouds but it is possible to keep your feet on the ground while you're worlds away. 

 

Dreaming isn't only for the young, anyone can do it. We shouldn't limit ourselves to the average six to eight hours of dreaming we get every night, we should be dreaming all of the time. Without dreams, there would be nothing...we would be nothing. Everything starts with a dream, a vision only you can see. That's what makes dreaming so important.

 

Everyone has a different vision so why let yours become entrapped in reality when you can do the impossible by simply closing your eyes? Of course dreaming takes action but how can you take action if you never take the time to dream? Action with no purpose is useless. It's like driving without a destination: long, frustrating, and eventually you'll run out of gas.

 

Reality has life they say, but there were times in my dreams where I've never felt more alive. I'm sure you all know that feeling; that feeling where if someone pinched you, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between reality and your dreamworld...well, that's how life should be too. You should be dreaming so often that eventually you won't be able to tell the difference. Before you know it, you've made your dreams a reality and that's when you see the importance of having a dream. A dream isn't just a made up world in your head, it's a vision that's meant to become real enough to live through.

 

You may be thinking that the problem with dreams are that they never have an ending. It all usually abruptly ends or fades into oblivion causing you to feel uneasy or always wondering what would have happened. See, that's the thing about dreams, they give you the most important thing you need...a start! The rest of it is up to you. 

 

Wouldn't you rather live in your most exciting dream than be where you are now? What if I told you that you can? What if I told you that it's all possible? Would you close your eyes and get started now? Or would you take the safe road and be on the look out for all of the "what ifs"? 

 

The sleepless ones are always caught up with limitations that keep them trapped in a world where only the things you can touch are real. The daydreamers are the ones who break the boundaries of life and truly come alive. When there's a problem, the sleepless find something "real" to fix the issue, the daydreamers create a monster to fight off the villain. It's not hard to see which storyline is more exciting. Why use someone else creation when you can come up with your own?

 

So, next time you doubt dreaming and you think about staying awake "to get more done"just remember that the sleepless eventually go insane...

 

DREAMERS ALWAYS WIN!

A look at my dream that became a reality:

 

http://www.amazon.com/Tragic-Heart-S-Elle-Cameron/dp/1489591060/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1383232401&sr=1-1&keywords=a+tragic+heart

 

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-tragic-heart-s-elle-cameron/1117024173?ean=9781489591067

It's Here and Now...

It's Here and Now...

It's official! My first novel, "A Tragic Heart" is here and now anyone in almost any part of the world can pick up a copy. I know it's been a while but I've been busy not only with the release of my first novel but also other business excursions. 

I've decided to stop sleeping on myself and do something about my dreams and goals. I never meant for this to sound sappy or mushy but I simply got tired of feeling "average". There are just times when you have to tell yourself "the time is here and now." 

Waiting can turn into "never" and "never" turns into "regret". I never want to feel the regret of not trying. I think as humans we always try to wait for the best times to start pursuing something but waiting can be deadly. Maybe there is no "right" time because there isn't enough time. 

Theoretically we only have about nine years of our lives to do what we want after factoring in the time we use for working and taking care of everything else, so why not start now? For one, I know that I need more than nine years to pursue everything that I envision for myself so I woke myself up and decided to go without waiting for the light to change. Lights are meant to direct traffic and I just want to be in my own lane on my own highway. No time for red or yellow lights...

Am I sure that I know what I'm doing? Do I know if I'm making a mistake? What if it all goes to hell and drags me along for the painful ride? So, what if it does? At least I can regret trying instead of regretting the "what ifs". The truth is, I don't know what I'm doing, I'm learning as I go. I don't know if I'm making a mistake but if I am, I'll learn from it. Life is all about learning and perfection is boring. Where's the excitement in getting it right all of the time? Shouldn't we live for the unexpected? Both bad and good? I think so...

Waiting is mediocrity, second guessing is crippling, and worrying is pointless. I never thought I would be the one saying go for the jump and pray that you take a leap but there comes a time that everyone must change who they are to get to where they are going. Hiding behind waiting or "that right time" is only going to fill you with regret and sorrow. You want to feel better about yourself? Just go for it! 

There will be criticism and you should take the constructive kind, but remain blinded to the negative. Someone will always have something to say and as long as you are happy with your decisions, that is all that matters. Someone will always disagree with you or try to argue their opinion but opinions are like........noses: everybody has one.

Now, of course this also means to use better judgment and to always be rational but also know that thinking for too long will only keep you in that one spot. Thinking only equals progress when you're taking action over your thoughts.

So, let's raise a glass to taking chances! Here's to here and now...

Included are links to the product of my "here and now":

http://www.amazon.com/S.-Elle-Cameron/e/B00FNI34X4

https://www.createspace.com/4217284

The Battle...

"There's a battle within that I'll never win, because it's me that I'm up against, it's my heart versus common sense."

Anyone who knows me knows that I get all of my inspiration from music and the artists who makes it. I like to think that I'm pretty well rounded in my choices and what I listen to, though I will admit that I lean more towards anything that has deep lyrical meaning. You may be wondering what this has to do with anything but since this is my first official blog post I just thought it would be a great idea to begin with something personal...and it doesn't get anymore personal than knowing about my longtime obsession with music.

As many of you know, I'm preparing to release my first novel entitled "A Tragic Heart". I couldn't be anymore excited and nervous...mostly the latter. From time to time you guys may witness me starting a blog post with a quote (more than likely taken from a song) simply because I  don't always have the right words to say what I'm feeling. The only way I've ever known how to express myself was through writing which is how my first novel came to be. Almost everything I write is based off of experience or someone I've come encounter with somewhere down the road of life.

I've never been so open about anything ever in my life and it makes my stomach feel like it's doing one hundred jumping jacks per minute while trying to withstand an earthquake...okay maybe that's a bit dramatic but it's also accurate. I never put myself "out there" before and I know they say there's a first for everything but I never knew it would be this intimidating. I was never one to have a huge ego or the highest esteem which is why it feels like I'm battling myself. 

I fight to tell myself that I'll do fine and this will be a success but there's always that wretched little voice in the back of my mind that quietly whispers that this will be a disaster just like most things. So I tell myself, "don't listen, this is your time," just before that little voice laughs and says "yeah, right!" 

Okay! Enough with the melodrama! I'm sure that's what you're thinking by now. Maybe you're thinking, "you wrote an entire book, what are you complaining about?" Yeah, you're right about that one but it still doesn't take away that nervous feeling that follows me around everywhere. All my life I just wanted to matter and to be remembered for doing something....well memorable! Now that I have the chance it's much scarier than I thought it would be. How do you obtain greatness when you are competing with the greatest? How do you stand out when you're one in over seven billion? There's so much talent in the world that I'm afraid that mine will go unnoticed. 

...But even after the bloody battle between my heart and my common sense, I know in the end I have to take a chance because if I don't we'll never know, now would we? So, even though I may sound a bit dramatic and I may even doubt myself at times, I'm going to do it anyway. Maybe doing it anyway will turn out to be another insignificant attempt in my life, but hey, at least I did it, right?