Lies and Truth (OctPoWriMo2015-Day 22)

I'm a rebel at heart

I'm a timid soul

I love a good crowd

I love to be alone

Two lies and a truth

More like 3 truths and a lie

Which one is it?

Go ahead, take your time.

Yesterday or Tomorrow (OctPoWriMo2015-Day 14)

Stuck in the middle

Not sure where to go

Life can be fickle 

Not sure what to know

Because truth is always blurred

It's never black and white

My words are kind of slurred

I'm stuck in the middle tonight

Drunk in the middle of a bridge

That connects yesterday and tomorrow

I missed it by a smidge

But I don't want to go back to sorrow

So if I'm in between

Yesterday and tomorrow

Is today unseen? 

Some logic I could borrow

Because I'm not sure where I stand

Or what all of this means

It's like my feet are caught in quick sand

The distance is equal, or so it seems

Yesterday or tomorrow? 

Welcome To Adulthood (OctPoWriMo2015-Day 12)

Am I crazy for thinking there's more?

Because I feel like this can't be all

Could I find it if I knew what to look for?

Don't say there's nothing behind this wall

Everything contains something deeper

Fear would love to prove that theory wrong

Going the other route because it's cheaper

Hoping what I need won't pass me along

Impossible things happen all the time

"Just believe," they all say

Kinder things have happened to evil souls

Let's not talk about that today

My mind is a wandering battle

Never ending at any point

Over bearing and keeps me rattled

Promising my dreams and fears are joint

Quiet moments do me no good

Rationalization is my worst enemy

Sometimes I don't think as I should

Trying to find a permanent remedy

Understanding is the hardest

Volunteering my sanity

Wishing on stardust

Xanax helps my inhumanity 

Yelling my loudest won't do me any good

Zookeepers stand by to lock up this animal inside 

The prompt today was to create a poem with 26 lines using different letters of the alphabet. I decided to go in alphabetical order.

Untamed Heart (OctPoWriMo2015-Day 10)

Ink me good

Or bad if you choose

I have an untamed heart

That will never lose

Don't go by guidelines

I don't believe in rules

I'm an untamed heart

I see from a different view

Don't want what you want

Don't care what you say

My heart is untamed

It'll always be this way

You tell me to grow up

But rebellion isn't a phase

My heart's not tamed

I was born a renegade

This is who I am

It's in my blood

My heart can't be tamed

That's how it always was 

There's Fire In You... (OctPoWriMo2015-Day 9)

Sparks fly

I let them ignite

Firestorms were always my favorite

Water dries

And you can't see the wind

And sometimes the earth cracks beneath your feet

But fire burns

And it spreads throughout the night

Destroying anything that gets in it's way

It doesn't stop at any cost

I always admired that

Fire is everywhere

In your eyes

Your gut

Your heart

Birthed from nothing but just a tiny spark

Now it's a four alarm fire

And it can't be stopped

There's no running

No hiding

Just spread your arms and embrace it

To the millionth degree...

The prompt for today was the elements. 

Color Me Black (OctPoWriMo2015-Day 8)

Black is what I always was

So I decided to embrace it

Heartache, mystery and sophisticastion

They all can sum me up

Just a little bit

But I know what color I am, it's a perfect fit

I'm the color people stay away from

They can't read me

To them, I'm a loaded gun

But I'm not here to talk about weapons

Because the words I write are plenty

24 years and they still don't get me

They think this means I'm dark on the inside

Yet this may be true

But there's still a light that shines

Because black doesn't mean I'm bad

Just that I'm a mystery

I think that's what gets them mad

My shade is too dark to see through

And they're afraid of what they can't see

So they try to mold me

But I was never one for conformity

So color me bad or color me good

It doesn't matter, I'll still be misunderstood

The prompt was "Color Me Good" and to write about a color that sparks a memory or a feeling. I've always been black which is associated with mystery and sophistication. By the way, I do remember the 90's group Color Me Bad (as was referenced in the prompt). http://www.octpowrimo.com/

Some Things You Can't Tell (OctPoWriMo2015-Day 7)

They said to stay away

You'll be no good for each other

Neither of us listened that day

Now we wouldn't choose another 

They listed the reasons why

Aired out your dirty laundry

But I didn't bat an eye

That's when they came after me

But you kept still and stayed

And that made me smile

We stopped caring what they say

5 years...I think we lasted a while

Much longer than they thought

Turns out we fit well

They never found the heartache that they sought

I guess some things you just can't tell...

The prompt for today was the road less traveled. We had to think of a time we didn't listen to popular opinion and ended up thankful we didn't. 

Freedom (OctPoWriMo2015-Day 6)

Freedom 

Isn't

What I need 

It's more than a 

Necessity, I

Crave it

Want it

Need it all

The time until

It consumes my mind

I need

A change

Of life or

A life of change

Things can't stay the same

FREEDOM

Not Enough (OctPoWriMo2015-Day 5)

Screaming and fighting isn't enough to keep me away from you

Crying and hard feelings aren't strong enough to stop this feeling

Because it's always you I run to, no matter what you do

As much as I hate you, there's always a feeling of love I'm concealing

Heartbreak and discomfort doesn't stop our world from going round

Painful words and blows won't kill our moments

Because I hear so much even when you don't make a sound

When you're too angry to speak, you're never my opponent

Because this is what true love looks like

Even during the worst times

We fight

For us, for who we want to be, for who we are together...

The prompt was based off of a line from Taylor's Swift's song "You Are In Love". It's actually my favorite part of the song and I would always play it over and over which is why I found it funny to be the prompt for day 5. 

"You understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars

And why I've spent my whole life trying to put it into words"-Taylor Swift

It Was All A Dream (OctPoWriMo2015-Day 4)

I was there and so were you

We had it all and no one had to approve

I owned my life and you owned yours

It was magical and we were our own cure

Everything was where it belonged

I was happy and you came along

Not a thing was out of place

We owned it all, our time and space

But things are rarely what they seem

It was time to wake up, it was all a dream

I long for a world where that feeling can be real

But that dream hit me hard, I need time to heal

There needs to be a world with simple joy and magic

There's something in my gut telling me I have to have it

Because if I don't it can be the death of me

Because if I don't, all I'll ever have is a dream

Waiting...(OctPoWriMo2015-Day 3)

I'm sitting here waiting

Just waiting for something to happen

I showed up, I fought my way here

Did the opportunity disappear?

Did I blink and miss it?

I thought this was it, the perfect fit

"Showing up is half the battle"

That's what they always say

Show up and get on the saddle

Ride it for what it's worth

But it ain't much here

It's not much there...

I thought waiting may not be enough

But they say waiting makes you tough

It gives you thicker skin

But I learned it's not about the outside but what's within

And even sometimes that ain't enough

Because we have no say over this kind of stuff

Where we'll end up

Who we are

We can try to change it but there's no guarantee

No matter what happens there's always a fee

So go ahead, we can dream and dream

But some dreams will always be incomplete

 

There's Something In The Clouds Tonight... (OctPoWriMo2015-Day 1)

The sky is dark

But the night is light

There's something in the clouds tonight

Can't tell what it is

Or what I want out of life

But there's something in the clouds tonight

That makes me think I can be more

It makes me dream 'til my mind is sore

But I can't see past my initial sight

Still, there's something in the clouds tonight

The wind is getting icy

And the air is colder, dear

Sometimes I wish my ambitions would disappear

For some reason, this evening I want them to stay

Maybe I can keep them into the next day

I hope it's not gone before the morning light

Because I like whatever it is in the clouds tonight

The Day Before (OctPoWriMo2014)-Day 30

It was the day before and only if I'd known

That it was the day before my disaster

How funny it is when everything seems normal

Then all of a sudden your whole life changes

We're never really prepared for the day that alters us

That way, we can't hold our breath

Or stand our ground

But it was the day before

And God! It it took me down!

There was fire and brimstone

And coal and smoke

I tried to hold my nose but it wasn't enough

This day was written in my destiny 

To make me who I am

And I wouldn't take it back

Because I would forfeit it all

It was the day before

And I wasn't ready for that fall!

But goodness gracious I'm glad that I tumbled

Because here I am to tell about it

And I can say it all was worth it

I needed to fall

I needed to stumble 

Disaster saved my life

And I am still here because of that moment

Thanks to the day before

For being my worst component

 

 

This Love (OctPoWriMo2014)-Day 29

I'm definitely unsure

You're positively immature

And I don't see how this is going to mix

Plus, there's not much we can fix

You're a red light and I'm passing go

I'm a free flight and you're...I don't know

But somehow this love is real

When it probably should be sealed

We're dysfunctional 

Yet untouchable

But we wouldn't give it up for the world

I'll choose you as my guy...me your girl

But this can't be good for our health

But what do I do when you're worth my wealth?

Maybe that means I don't have much

But I still love the feel of your touch

This love sometimes may suck

But this love is us

 

 

Starving Hunger (OctPoWriMo2014)-Day 28

I got drunk off failure

Hungover by life

But after coming face to face with porcelain

My stomach's clear

And I'm hungry for more

Life has handed me dirty cards

But I wiped them clean to start over

My gut is growling for triumph

My heart is beating for success

It's time for me to get out of this mess

I'm hungry for victory

I'm hungry for happiness

I'm hungry for life

 

Beta Waves (OctPoWriMo2014)-Day 27

Closing my eyes is my favorite thing to do

It's not that I'm lazy but I get to dream about you

If only I could still hold you near

This pain in my heart would disappear

You're only present in my wildest dreams

We're alive in a world where nothing is what it seems

I never knew that sleep could be so satisfying

The peace, the freedom is almost like I'm dying

But it happens in the best way that could exist

Because I get to see the one that I miss

Every night I get to smile

I get the chance to talk to you for a while

In reality, you're not even here with me

But that doesn't matter in my dreams

That's why being asleep is better than being awake

Touching things only my beta waves can create

I don't care if I only love a fantasy

I don't care if it contributes to my abnormality 

Because I'm happy that you're right in front of me

Even if I'm the only one who can see

I'm okay with living in a lie

As long as we never have to say goodbye

I can't let you go ever again

I don't think this heart would ever mend

70VE (OctPoWriMo2014)-Day 26

I stare at the long dark hallway

Hoping a light will show up

I swallow hard

Clench my fists

And feel the sweat form on my face

One step after another I slowly go

For a second I close my eyes tightly 

Hoping this is the right choice

I try to be mindful of my surroundings 

But there's nothing to see

I'm all alone

With goosebumps on my skin

I'm more than halfway there

But I want to turn around

What's waiting for me?

I see a light just at the end

I stop before I step into the brightness

What if it's not there?

Take a deep breath...exhale

I walk into the light

A smile spreads across my face

Love was waiting for me all along

Ink (OctPoWriMo2014)-Day 24

Wipe it clean

Put the needle to my skin

Ink it exactly how I want it

It started with one

Then two and three

Before I knew it I hit number four

Now I'm contemplating what's next

What do I want for number five

Let's make this fun

Make it something memorable

New Ink for a different place

Travel the world and make it permanent

 Every memory sticks to my skin forever

They all tell a story

They all have a meaning

Favorite band, biggest dreams, aspirations

It keeps me grounded

Keeps my head straight

Ink is my guilty pleasure 

Cement (OctPoWriMo2014)-Day 23

What's next?

Where do I go from here?

Now that it's over

Where should I appear?

I feel like I have no place

All this time and not enough space

That part of my journey is over

I passed the test

But what do I do with all the rest?

Life doesn't give you instructons

No manual or handbook

But I need to know where I should look

Because now I feel lost

In the middle of nowhere

I'm not even sure if I should even care

I took the risks

Came out on top

So why am I here at the bottom of the rock?

So many familiar faces

Lets me know that I don't belong here

I did what I was supposed to do

So why am I not up there?

It wasn't enough and no one ever told me

And now I'm stuck, not where I should be

Cemented into failure

Like it's my new name

Hard work is optional

It's all about the game

Who knows who

Who came from where

I guess that's the reason why I'm not up there

Years of doing the very right thing

Showed me the pain life can bring

So put my face in wet cement

I'll hold my breath and let it dry

Let it freeze the tears that I cry

Because I'm ready to move onto something more

What should I do?

I'm really not sure

So I'll lie in here in cement

Give me a while

I'll tell you how it went 

 

Push Play (OctPoWriMo2014)-Day 22

Push play

Ready, set, go

I'm not really ready

But how else will I know? 

My mind is set

Got to keep the race steady

Have to take what I can get

Because no one will let me

Fast foward

To show me that this is worth it all

Give me something to hold on to

When I stumble and fall

Because there are no rewinds

No places for do overs

Even if I'm not ready, this is my time