S. Elle Cameron

All love is a tragedy...

Filtering by Tag: Dreaming

Dreaming Alive (A Poem From Mason's POV)-New Scene From RED Included!

As most of you already know, RED will be released on February 14, 2015. I thought it was clever to release it on Valentine's Day since the name of the book is RED and...well...you know! Anyway, along with a new character profile every month, I'll also release a poem that is inspired by a scene or page from RED. I think it's a good way to help readers gain a better understanding of the emotional effects certain scenes have on the character. The first poem is called "Dreaming Alive" and it's from Mason's point of view.

Last night I dreamed of you while I was awake
And I prayed to the Lord my soul He'll take
Just so I can be back with you

Do you know what it's like to dream while alive?
To see the damning images deep inside your mind?
But it was worth it because I was with you 

The sparks in your eyes, they were still there
But the fire spread and you disappeared
I'll burn all over again just for you

My eyes are wide open and my heart has been closed
I can't love another because you're all that I know
And I wouldn't have it any other way because of you

I tasted your mouth and you tasted mine
I think we forgot all about the time
But life always worked that way with you

Last night I dreamed while I was alive
But in reality you were on the other side
What I would give for you!

Because last night that dream brought me alive...

Here is the scene from RED, Dreaming Alive was inspired from. It's a scene where Mason dreams of his lost love Taylor (from A Tragic Heart).
 ***
Every time I try to close my eyes, I see her. I keep trying to think of something new, but she won’t get out of my head. Sixteen years and she still haunts me.


I wake up to the smell of breakfast so I quickly get up and brush my teeth. I practically rush down the stairs before something stops me in my tracks.
“Hey, make sure your dad is up. I know how much he hates having to heat up food,” I hear her voice say from the kitchen.
I’m afraid to walk in and be disappointed. It couldn’t be. Is it all a dream? Did it never happen? For a second I feel relieved but then realize that when I open the kitchen door it wouldn’t be her.
I stand in front of the kitchen door for a while before pushing it open. I close my eyes and say a short prayer before viewing what’s in front of me.
“Never mind!” she calls out. “You’re right on time,” she says with a beautiful smile. The smile that’s been imprinted in my mind since the first day we met.
“The smell woke me up,” I say relieved that she’s standing there in front of me again. “Is this real?” I ask her a little confused.
“Last time I checked,” she sounds just as confused as I feel.
“Don’t ever leave me again,” I say touching her beautiful face.
“I won’t. We were young before, it’s different now. I love you.”
“I love you too. I always have and always will.”
She leans in and kisses me passionately. We almost get carried away but the smoke that fills the air reminds us that she’s cooking.
“SHIT!” I yell opening the kitchen window and turning the fan above the stove on.
She laughs a little and tells me to watch my mouth. I stare at her for a long time before she acknowledges it.
“What? Why do you keep looking at me like that?” she asks never wiping that smile off of her face.
“I just had this terrible dream,” I say unable to take my eyes off of her.
“What was it about?”
“I don’t want to bring it up again, but I dreamed that after Peyton died you fell into this deep depression and…” it’s hard for me to say it even though I know that it never happened, “you asked me to watch Peyton for a while, and you never came back. You left me in the worst way possible. I found you on your apartment floor covered in blood. It was the worst thing I’ve ever seen.”
She doesn’t say a word. She just looks at me with glossy eyes as if she’s trying to hold back tears.
“I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to bring it up again,” I say before reaching out to touch her.
She moves away from me and tears fall from her eyes.
“If I knew you loved me this much I would’ve never done it. I regret it every day,” she says through her tears.
I don’t understand.
“I’m confused, what are you talking about?” I ask still trying to move closer to her.
“I would have given you a second chance. You deserved it. I ruined her. I ruined everything! You’re doing such a great job, Mason. It’s not your fault. You’re not the reason why she’s so angry. It’s all my fault! I just wanted to see him again but now I’m stuck!”
She moves back towards the stove and I yell for her to move out of the way. The stove catches fire without good explanation and quickly spreads across the kitchen forming a barrier between us. I try grabbing her to pull her with me but I can’t get to her.
“Don’t leave me!” I yell back at her while reaching for her hand. “Please! Don’t leave me again!”

I jump out of my sleep more startled than I’ve ever been. I look over at the clock and see it reads 5:45 am. I quickly get up and walk to Peyton’s room. She still isn’t home. The hairs on the back of my neck are standing on end and I can’t relax. I walk into the den on the top floor and try to relax by watching some TV. I can’t get that dream out of my head. I say a short prayer and whisper to myself, “Baby, wherever you are, I hope you’re safe and happy.”


 

Beta Waves (OctPoWriMo2014)-Day 27

Closing my eyes is my favorite thing to do
It's not that I'm lazy but I get to dream about you
If only I could still hold you near
This pain in my heart would disappear
You're only present in my wildest dreams
We're alive in a world where nothing is what it seems

I never knew that sleep could be so satisfying
The peace, the freedom is almost like I'm dying
But it happens in the best way that could exist
Because I get to see the one that I miss
Every night I get to smile
I get the chance to talk to you for a while

In reality, you're not even here with me
But that doesn't matter in my dreams
That's why being asleep is better than being awake
Touching things only my beta waves can create
I don't care if I only love a fantasy
I don't care if it contributes to my abnormality 

Because I'm happy that you're right in front of me
Even if I'm the only one who can see
I'm okay with living in a lie
As long as we never have to say goodbye
I can't let you go ever again
I don't think this heart would ever mend

This Is Living...

 "...Every step feels so brand new. It's hard to jump with no net but I've jumped and got no regret."

During the past two weeks I learned what living is and let me tell you...it's exactly what everyone hyped it up to be! Remember when I wrote about how important it is to dream and that daydreaming leads to living...I took my own advice and made my dreams into a reality.

I spent my last few weeks in Australia (my dream place), Dubai, and Italy. It was as if one day I was wishing and hoping to see Australia at least once in my lifetime and the next, I was petting Koalas and Kangaroos at Steve Irwin's zoo in Brisbane! I went sightseeing in Newcastle and skydiving in Picton, Australia. Most of my time was spent in Sydney where I met new people and got a new tattoo. 

It's not exactly what I did in Australia that made it memorable or that made it all worth it, it's what I learned. I learned about adventure and risk taking, but those weren't the most important lessons. The lesson that mattered the most to me was the lesson of learning to live. For so long, I was just simply existing in a world that would someday kill me and it wasn't until I actually went out to see the world that I learned there was an alternative to existing...and it's called LIVING!

For those of you who never experienced life, this is what it feels like: better than dreaming. When Dr. Seuss once said "you know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams" he didn't just mean falling in love with a significant other. For the first time ever, I felt like I was in love with life and I wouldn't trade it for anything. There is no greater feeling than doing exactly what you always dreamed of. There is no greater feeling than knowing that you can't get better than reality. There's something so rewarding when you can say to yourself "this is living..."

I've had my trying times and I had my moments where I wanted to not exist and give it all up but the last few weeks made me grateful that I decided to stick around. How could I give up the possibility of living my dreams and seeing more of the world than I ever thought of? My whole point is to say: never give up because your present is messy. Where you are right now doesn't depict where you will be or end up. Don't worry if you're not "living" at the moment, work on bringing yourself to life. Learn to say forget everything and everyone and do what makes you happy. Take the driver's seat so you can eventually let go and become the passenger and see all of the sights as you drive by. 

Getting lost in a new and foreign town was both amazing and scary. At one point I told my boyfriend "let's get lost and see things we didn't plan on seeing." It was during moments like this one that I realized how important learning to live is. Sometimes just learning to enjoy the ride is all you need to pick up on the lesson. 

This post wasn't meant to be long, it was meant to tell everyone else to learn the lesson that I learned over the past two weeks. I discovered that existing and living truly are two different concepts and we all should learn the second one before it's too late. Life is short but it can be filled with so many wonders if you let it in. Become the world's passenger and be sure to look around and enjoy the view.

Enjoy a few pictures from my trip to Australia while I made stops in Dubai and Italy!

 The famous Aquarium in Sydney, Australia.
 Steve Irwin's zoo in Brisbane, Australia!
 Darling Harbour, Sydney.
 Darling Harbour.
 A sleeping Koala
 Newcastle sight.
 Sunset in Australia from our cruise ship.
 The Italian Alps, Milan, Italy.



Don't Wake Me Up from Daydreaming...

"I wanna get out and build my own home on a street where reality is not much different from dreams I've had. A dream is all I have..."

 

They always tell us not to sleep for too long; it's the ones that's wide awake that will take the winning. Always keep your eyes wide open because that way you won't miss a thing. I say, close your eyes and keep them shut tight. Who needs to see when you can dream?

 

Being wide awake doesn't allow you to think of anything new. Staying awake only allows you to see what's in front of you, but dreaming gets you everywhere. Dreaming gives you the greatest ideas and the adrenaline to keep you going. Dreaming is sometimes all we have and if we never close our eyes, we would never know what lies inside of our minds. 

 

Just because you need to open your eyes sometimes doesn't mean you always have to be wide awake. It's okay to be alert but you have to allow yourself room to daydream and see visions through your eyelids. They say dreamers are fools or they have their heads in the clouds but it is possible to keep your feet on the ground while you're worlds away. 

 

Dreaming isn't only for the young, anyone can do it. We shouldn't limit ourselves to the average six to eight hours of dreaming we get every night, we should be dreaming all of the time. Without dreams, there would be nothing...we would be nothing. Everything starts with a dream, a vision only you can see. That's what makes dreaming so important.

 

Everyone has a different vision so why let yours become entrapped in reality when you can do the impossible by simply closing your eyes? Of course dreaming takes action but how can you take action if you never take the time to dream? Action with no purpose is useless. It's like driving without a destination: long, frustrating, and eventually you'll run out of gas.

 

Reality has life they say, but there were times in my dreams where I've never felt more alive. I'm sure you all know that feeling; that feeling where if someone pinched you, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between reality and your dreamworld...well, that's how life should be too. You should be dreaming so often that eventually you won't be able to tell the difference. Before you know it, you've made your dreams a reality and that's when you see the importance of having a dream. A dream isn't just a made up world in your head, it's a vision that's meant to become real enough to live through.

 

You may be thinking that the problem with dreams are that they never have an ending. It all usually abruptly ends or fades into oblivion causing you to feel uneasy or always wondering what would have happened. See, that's the thing about dreams, they give you the most important thing you need...a start! The rest of it is up to you. 

 

Wouldn't you rather live in your most exciting dream than be where you are now? What if I told you that you can? What if I told you that it's all possible? Would you close your eyes and get started now? Or would you take the safe road and be on the look out for all of the "what ifs"? 

 

The sleepless ones are always caught up with limitations that keep them trapped in a world where only the things you can touch are real. The daydreamers are the ones who break the boundaries of life and truly come alive. When there's a problem, the sleepless find something "real" to fix the issue, the daydreamers create a monster to fight off the villain. It's not hard to see which storyline is more exciting. Why use someone else creation when you can come up with your own?

 

So, next time you doubt dreaming and you think about staying awake "to get more done"just remember that the sleepless eventually go insane...

 

DREAMERS ALWAYS WIN!

A look at my dream that became a reality:

 

http://www.amazon.com/Tragic-Heart-S-Elle-Cameron/dp/1489591060/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1383232401&sr=1-1&keywords=a+tragic+heart

 

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-tragic-heart-s-elle-cameron/1117024173?ean=9781489591067