Ronan: It's Always Her... (Continued)(Short Story #9)

It's been since October that I've written a short story (remember those?!). I missed writing short stories on my characters from the A Tragic Heart series. I believe this series will always be my favorite and the characters will always be the most real to me which is why I write little blurbs about them...so I never have to let them go.

As promised, this one is a continuation to the last one and it's from Ronan's point of view. Clearly it would belong with the second novel, RED and jumps eight years into the future (from where RED left off). You can check out the first part to the story here: Ronan: It's Always Her...

Listen to "Close To You" by Rihanna on repeat while reading to get the full experience:

Ronan: It’s Always Her (Continued)

                There she was. Sitting across from me in an expensive restaurant in Los Angeles just talking away. She had a smile painted across her face as she spoke and her red hair was now dyed blonde; a new look is what she called it. She looked beautiful…even more beautiful than I could remember. Adulthood looked good on her and it was clear that she was far from that high school girl who broke my heart way back when. 

                She went on about her idea for the photoshoot she wanted to collaborate with me on. For the most part it sounded like a good idea but I couldn’t really tell you because I wasn’t listening much. I just kept thinking about how she was the most beautiful girl in the room…in the world. Just a few days ago I was with a gorgeous model in my bedroom and now here I am with my high school lover and thinking about just how unattractive that model was compared to her. She has no idea. 

                “Enough about work,” I interrupted her as I reached across the table and grabbed her hands. Her nails were painted black and her skin was smooth. “How have you been, Peyton?”

                She gave me a smirk before answering, it was almost a blush. “I’ve been great, actually. I’m in a really good place and things just keep getting better. I never thought I’d say that but…here I am,” she replied.

                “That’s good. You seem really happy,” I responded with a little disappointment in my tone. I was happy that she was happy but there was a part of me that wanted her to confess that she missed me. I wanted her to say that she still needed me even though we’ve been apart for eight years. 

                “Before coming here I got to spend time with Mason and the rest of the family. The kids are getting so big…they’re not even kids anymore. Can you believe that?!” she asked. “Lila’s going to be starting college soon!”

                Lila’s her baby cousin. Mason is her dad’s first cousin who took her in after both her parents died while she was still a baby. For her, his kids are basically her little sister and brothers. 

                “That’s crazy. Time really does fly. Who would’ve thought we’d be here? A lot has happened,” I said taking on a slightly tighter grip onto her hands. 

                “It really has. I can’t even keep up anymore,” she basically mumbled. 

                Before I could say another word the waiter came and interrupted us asking if we were ready to order. She wasn’t sure what she wanted so I ordered for the both of us. I told her not to worry she’ll love it and she responded with a “you always knew me so well.” 

                We talked more over dinner, mostly about work and how I would make her vision come to life. She loved my input and told me this is why I’m her go to person for things like this. We make a great team. If only she knew what that truly means to me. It’s crazy how she was the one to hurt me so I let her go but I’m the one longing for her again. Most people will say I’m insane but they’re obviously the ones who never met Peyton Hayley Giordano. 

                She suggested we go back to my condo where I have an in house studio. She wanted to get a visual of how things will be set up. Of course I wouldn’t object to it. She’s always welcomed in my home. Aside from being my ex she’s also one of my oldest friends. Nothing will ever change that. 

                We walked inside together and I offered her a drink. She declined. All she wanted was for me to show her to the studio so I did. 

                “I have an idea,” she announced. 

                I lifted my head to look at her, letting her know she had my attention. “What is it?” I asked. 

                “Let’s do things a little differently. I want a photoshoot tonight. Just on a whim kind of thing. All natural,” she replied.

                “Okay. Let me get my camera set up,” I said about to walk out of the room before she stopped me.

                “Here’s the catch!” she said staring at me biting her bottom lip. 

                “Go on,” I urged curiously.

                “I want to be nude. Nothing covered. All natural, like I said. No retouches, nothing but my natural self.”

                I was speechless. “Peyton-“

                “I wanted a shoot like this for a while and I could’ve asked anyone but I wanted you to do it. I mean, who better than you? You’ve already seen the package.”

                “That was years ago,” I replied. “It’s different now.”

                “Are you seeing someone?” she asked.

                “No. Not really,” I responded quickly.

                “Then what’s the problem?”

                The problem was I was still in love with her and seeing her that naked will definitely send me over the edge. I couldn’t tell her that though.

                “I’ll go get my camera.”

                When I came back she started to undress slowly. I watched her take off every piece of clothing and I wanted to forget about the photoshoot. I just wanted her. 

                “Ready?” I asked not able to take my eyes off of her.

                “As ready as I can be,” she said pushing her newly blonde hair out of her face. 

                We took shots on the bed, the shower, my balcony…almost everywhere. Not once did she feel uncomfortable. The photos came out beautiful. She was just about to start putting her clothes back on when I said something to get her attention.

                “What if I didn’t want you to put those back on just yet?” I asked boldly.

                She stopped and stared for a bit so I walked closer to her. She didn’t make a move. She seemed shocked. 

                “Roe, what are you saying?” she asked as I ran my fingers up and down her arm. I always loved the softness of her skin. 

                “I’m saying that I still have feelings for you and I can’t let you leave me tonight…not like this.”

                “Roe-I don’t think-“

                I cut her off with a kiss. She pulled back but before she could interrupt I kissed her again. This time she let it happen. She let her panties drop out of her hands and wrapped her arms around my waist. I guess this was happening on my balcony in the middle of the night. Let’s just hope paparazzi didn’t follow us here…

Don't forget to pick up your copy of RED and the rest of the series here: A Tragic Heart Series

 

 

Lust You (A Poem From Alex's POV + New Scene From RED)

I've actually been excited to create a poem from Alex's point of view for a while now. Alex is a very interesting character and I think he brings a fullness to RED. He's the antagonist in so many ways but he isn't all bad at the same time. Anyway, Alex gets himself into a pretty nasty situation (I won't give it up) and that's basically what this poem is about. Hope you enjoy it. And if you missed the last poem you can view it here.

I'm one second away from tearing off your clothes

Even though I know much better than this

It's the way your eyes look, the way your hair flows

I want to add you to my list

Isn't it okay if you act older than your age?

I mean, who would know if you don't tell?

Let's give a performance in my room, my bed will be the stage

 I'll buy whatever it is you're willing to sell

And I know this is supposed to be wrong

But I bite my lip and stare anyway

And to think it all started with a simple song

I think today just may be the day

That you forget about him

And let me win

I can't wait to hear the noise you make when I go in

God, this feels too good to be a sin

But you're more to me than just a body and lips

Although, I will admit I love the feel of your hips

When I'm holding you while you tighten your grip

I swear to God you take me on the best trip

I might've gone insane

Because this isn't right

But it's all pleasure, no pain

So I won't even fight

Well, well, well, there's your first taste of Alex Kinsley! Hope you enjoyed what you read. Here's the scene from RED that inspired this little piece. Only a few more weeks until RED's Valentine's Day release!

Alex: Control

It was a stupid decision but I make it anyway. Lust took over and I did something that I thought I could never do. I keep telling myself we’re not even a full eight years apart but it doesn’t make me feel any better. She’s not even eighteen. I knew we’d go this far I just pictured it happening a year from now. She tried so hard to ignore me the entire time we were together and that only made me want her more.

It was the song. Hearing her voice sing lyrics that hit so close to home didn’t help. It’s not just lust, I actually like her but I won’t be able to show it to anyone. I’m not worried too much about her boyfriend because they’re still young. They’re bound to break up eventually, right?

We didn’t speak for the entire car ride. She didn’t even say that she’ll see me later. I sit in my studio alone and roll a joint. God knows I need one. I play her track again and close my eyes as I inhale. I picture everything that happened in full detail from beginning to end. I can’t wait to see her again.

  

Character Profile From RED: Robyn West

January is here which means it's time for another character profile (this SHOULD be the second to last one since RED is slated for a Valentine's Day release). This profile is for a minor character in RED but she plays an important part in the main character, Peyton's life. She's her best friend and she's as loyal as they come. Allow me to introduce you all to Robyn West!

Full Name: Robyn Victoria West

Birth Date: July 20, 2010

Gender: Female

Age During RED: 16-18 years old

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Color: Brown

Height: 5'8

Weight: 125 lbs

Relatives: Marsha West (Mother), Garrett West (Father), Jeffrey West (Brother)

Relationship Status: Single/Too busy having a good time to be tied down

Interest/Hobbies: Partying, Hanging out with friends, Modeling

Positive Character Traits: Robyn is as loyal as loyal can get. She sticks by her friends and loved ones through any circumstance and never judges anyone. She's easy to talk to and would drop whatever she's doing at the drop of a dime for someone she cares about. Not only is she loyal but she's also giving.

Negative Character Traits: Sometimes she parties too hard but she's sure to grow out of it. She's young, let her have her fun!

Choice Quote From RED:  "Things may not go back to the way they were immediately, but I think eventually they will. It's just going to take some time..."

That's all I have for Robyn! Although she's a very minor character I feel she still deserves a character profile. Robyn is a beautiful person inside and out and I think we all can learn a thing or two from her. Forget her partying ways; she's someone we all should strive to be more like. As a reminder, RED comes out this Valentine's Day (February 14th) and is the second part to A Tragic Heart (which by the way will have a new cover for its re-release) so I strongly urge you all to catch up. Until next time...

By the way, if Robyn was a song she'd be Right Here by Jhene Aiko!

 

New Cover For A Tragic Heart (It's Pretty Awesome!)

Let me start off by saying that this cover is totally rad!!!!! I just posted yesterday that I needed a cover that would appeal to the target audience (young adults and early adults) but also conveyed the emotional attachment the book has and I think this is it. It's the same concept as the original cover but it's less graphic and a little easier on the average eye (and it definitely doesn't look like a science fiction book). Here's the new cover to A Tragic Heart that will be available once the novel is republished with Line by Lion.

A Tragic Heart Cover Change

For a while now I've been contemplating if I should change the cover to my debut novel, A Tragic Heart. While I love the original cover, there has been speculation that it may not be reaching the target audience. I've been told (by agents and publishers) that it's a great book but it may be overlooked simply because of the cover. Although we all know the saying "don't judge a book by it's cover" sadly most of us do exactly that. The biggest misconception is that the book is a sci-fi novel instead of a Young Adult/Coming of Age/New Adult novel. The original cover is supposed to depict the emotional turmoil of the book and the human heart shattering like glass is supposed to depict how fragile the characters are. People love it once they understand the meaning behind the cover but the issue is most people won't read it to give it that chance.

I'm going for a more traditional book cover this time around that has a similar concept but is more appealing to the target audience. Maybe once the book is out there I'll change the cover back to its original form but for now it's time for a change. I'll post the new cover once it's changed so you all can let me know your opinions. In the meantime, take a look at the original cover below and tell me what you think.

Character Profile For RED: Alex Kinsley

November's here! That means I have a new character profile for you all. This is another new character who is extremely important to the novel. He's sort of the antagonist and he's responsible for a lot of the trouble that happens. The book wouldn't be complete without him. He's a ladies man and a bad boy which are two lethal combinations. He gets his own POV here and there and RED wouldn't be so bright without him. Allow me to introduce you all to...

Alex Kinsley

Full Name: Alex Kinsley

Birth Date: June 28, 2002

Gender: Male

Age During RED: 24-26

Eye Color: Blue

Hair Color: Jet Black

Height: 5'10

Weight: 165 lbs

Relatives: Unknown as a result of Alex being disowned by his family.

Relationship Status: Kind of single, always ready to mingle!

Interests/Hobbies: Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll! He's also the drummer in a famous band

Positive Character Traits: He's a great lover and an amazing drummer/songwriter. 

Negative Character Traits: He's not a one woman kind of guy. He doesn't know how to love even when he feels it. Alex isn't known for making the best decisions and he's pretty stubborn. He likes to party and his reputation isn't the greatest in the tabloids...yet women love him!

Choice Quote From RED: "We have opened Pandora's Box and all of the sin of the world exploded within us...I've never felt so alive."

That's all for this month! Alex is a really interesting character that you will both love and really hate. He brings the book on a lot of roller coaster rides and I can't wait for you all to get to know him better. For now, I hope you all have a better idea of who he is. Remember, RED is the second part to A Tragic Heart and the second book in my RED TRAGEDIES series. You still have time to catch up before the release of RED!

By the way, if Alex was a song he'd be "Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)" by Marilyn Manson. 

Finding Yourself:Theme From RED

"I somehow managed to play the protagonist and the antagonist in this story"-Peyton Hayley Giordano (RED)

Last week I wrote about starting over after you already made those messy mistakes, dropped your ego and learned to forgive yourself and others. This week I want to talk about another major theme from RED: finding yourself. 

When you focus on starting over you have to also focus on finding yourself. After being dragged through the mud and experiencing disappointment after disappointment, you have to hit the restart button. Restarting also means that things are going to have to change. In the process of us being dragged by our hair while our face scraps against the cement we become someone different. We just have to find out who this person is. 

Finding yourself is critical in the process of starting over. If we don't gain a clear vision of who we are we'll just falter into another mess (and who wants that?). Not knowing who you are usually results in you falling for anything. Knowing who you are (and who you used to be) will help you stand firm in your beliefs, values, and follow the path ahead of you will little slip ups. 

In RED, Peyton is on a journey to find out who she is after never getting the chance to truly know her parents. All she has is her mother's journals and writings she kept on a flash drive to refer to. Her dad never got the chance to even know she was going to exist and her mom ended it all before she could even develop a memory. Most of us get the chance to learn who we are by reflecting back on how our parents were/are. Peyton never got that chance which makes her journey both difficult and interesting. She finds herself making many of her parents' mistakes but it's harder for her to deal with them because she has no idea her parents already went through it all. 

Peyton begins to find herself when she sees herself where she is. The quote above is her reflecting on her past behavior and mistakes after it all blows up in her face. This should sound familiar to most of us. We tend to find ourselves while we're attempting to start over after something blew up in our faces. It's almost like the wreck and disaster is what we needed to see clearly. While we're under water we finally make the decision to breathe. Peyton is no different. 

If you're currently in a situation that seems impossible, almost like you're drowning, I dare you to breathe. Open your lungs and learn something new; how to start over and find yourself in the process. Figure out what you learned and become the person you always wanted to be. Live like you're the person you want to be and soon you won't be acting anymore. We all make mistakes, we all have to learn when to drop our egos, we have to forgive ourselves along with others, we have to start over, and we have to find ourselves all over again. While you're becoming someone new you're going to get a lot of hate and judgment thrown at you but who cares? Well...judgment...that sounds like something I could talk about next week, doesn't it? Until then, keep on looking....

In the meantime listen to a song about finding yourself: