Today I am feeling very generous so I'm going to give you all a sneak peek on my upcoming novel, RED. It's the intro along with the first few pages. It's unedited so some things may change but I think it's a nice introduction to the novel. For those of you who read A Tragic Heart, you'll completely understand where this is taking off from. The rest you still have time to catch up, but for now I hope you enjoy it. So, here it is:
Intro
Red
hair. Green eyes. Perfect Smile. Curves in the right places. I’m a knockout,
but not only in the physical department. I’m a knockout at home, in school…in
every aspect of my life. Poor Mason. I don’t mean to be so cruel but he’s not
my dad…and Adalyn, she’s not my mother…and they never will be. My parents left
me before I could even figure out who they were to me. My dad didn’t have much
of a choice but my mother…she chose…she had a choice and I think that’s what
hurts the most. The selfish bitch didn’t even love me enough to stay…who does
that?
Mason’s struggling through it all
even after all of these years. I guess some things just leave a mark that can
never heal. I feel bad for him, I really do, but it’s not enough. Adalyn tries
to pretend she doesn’t notice but she sees it…she sees it every day
They try so hard to include me in
everything…to make me part of the “family.” Mason spends more time on me than
he does on his own children. Maybe because I need the attention more than they
do?
Lila’s their oldest. She’s nine and an
honor student. In other words, she’s perfect and beautiful. Her eyes are just
like Mason’s…captivating and piercing green. Ryan and Nick are fraternal twins.
They’re two years younger than Lila and I don’t know how Mason and Adalyn did
it, but they’re just as perfect as Lila…in school at least. Maybe I would’ve
been perfect too if my parents were still here…or at least if my mom tried. But
how can I be perfect when my parents were who they were?
I’m far from black and white and I’m
never shaded gray. I’m never blue and I can never be a pure white…I’m all red…always
red.
Peyton:
Darkness
I
walk into a dark, quiet house and slowly close the door behind me. I hear Marcus’s
car pull off and I almost made it in without anyone noticing; or so I thought.
Mason must’ve been waiting up for me because as soon as I turned around he was
standing at the bottom of the staircase. I jumped a little since I was
expecting to get away with it, but it’s not like it was the first time.
“Oh, it’s you, you scared the hell
out of me,” I said unfazed by him standing in front of me clearly unhappy.
“I should, but evidently not
enough,” he stated in a dry tone. “So you’re just gonna walk right past me and
act like this didn’t just happen?”
“We can do that.
It’s better than having the ‘talk’,” I said walking up the stairs. I’m
surprised he let me get that far. This is a new record.
He follows me up and
by the time he gets to the top of the stairs he roughly grabs me by the arm,
forcing me to face him and look him in the eyes.
“You’re hurting me!”
I say with a slightly raised voice.
“What is wrong with
you? Why can’t you just listen? Where did I go wrong with you?” Mason asked. It
was question after question.
He shook me a little
after every sentence. I felt scared on the inside but on the outside I was ice.
“Mason, you’re
hurting me! Get off!” I yelled loudly enough to cause Adalyn to get out of bed.
“What’s going on?
Mason what are you doing?” she asked slightly awake and panicked.
“He’s hurting me!” I
shout as I struggle to get away from his grasp.
“Mason let go of
her! Calm down!” Adalyn softly yelled.
I was able to see
the frustration in his eyes. It hurt me a little but I can’t let him see it.
“I try with you! I
TRIED SO HARD!” he shouted with fury.
“Mason…Mason, calm
down. Let her go and calm down!” Adalyn practically begged.
After a few seconds
he did as she said. I wanted to say something but I was at a loss for words.
I’ve seen Mason angry a number of times but I never thought he could be that
way towards me. We argue and it’s frequent but I’ve never seen him so…tired.
“It’s alright, you
need rest,” Adalyn said to Mason as she rubbed his shoulder.
She loved him, more
than anything. She loves him the way I hope to love someone someday…the way I
want someone to love me.
I looked to my right to see Lila
rubbing her eyes and slowly walking towards us. The commotion must have woken
her up out of her sleep.
“Hey, Lila, what’s
wrong?” I asked softly.
“I heard yelling and
I thought I was having a bad dream,” she said quietly.
“No, sweetie, your
daddy and Peyton was just talking loud, that’s all. Go back to bed,” Adalyn
intervened. She took Lila’s hand and led her down the hall. “Come on, let’s go
back to bed.”
As Adalyn walked
Lila back to her room, Mason and I stood in the hallway by the top of the
staircase in silence for a few seconds.
“No more late
nights. No more going out without permission. This has to stop Peyton,” he said
in a low and calm voice.
“I’ll try,” I
replied back coldly.
“No, don’t try, do
it. Besides, you’re not setting a good example for your cousins,” he said more
stern.
“They’re not my kids
so what do you care…and I don’t need you to tell me what’s good and what’s not.
I know right from wrong.”
I could tell it hurt
him and I know he wants to give up on me…he might as well, everyone else has. I honestly don’t understand why he tries so
hard with me. I’m not that important. I feel like part of him believes that by
saving me, he’s saving my mother and father. I wish he’d understand that
they’re gone and can never come back. I’m not them and never will be.
I walked to my room, it’s big and
spacious, and…me. The walls are red and it’s
always dark. There’s a guitar and keyboard in one corner and drums in the
other. I even have my own bathroom, so I never have to wait for anyone else.
Mason always made sure I had the best of everything and he always went above
and beyond. There are times I believe he cares for me more than he cares for
his own children. I think he forgets that I’m not his daughter but I always
remember that he’s not my father.
Mid
thoughts I undress and walk to my bathroom turning on the shower water. I hated
who I was but I don’t know how to be someone else. I hate to see myself in the
mirror because I only see the face of a person I never met. I already have his
name but God didn’t think that was enough. He decided to give me something
extra, so he gave me his same eyes, hair, and facial features. I place my hands
over my face trying to block out the thought. Daddy, how come you couldn’t stay long enough for me to at least touch
you? Its torture to hear the stories about how great he was and how I’m so
much like him and he never even got the chance to touch me. He never knew I
existed…or was going to exist.
A tear
fell from my eye and I quickly wiped it away. I’m not a crier and I wasn’t
going to become one now. No sense in crying over a man I never even met before.
I kept
my shower short and got ready for bed. I hated the feeling of wet hair against
my skin but I was too tired to dry it tonight. I changed into a tank top and
some shorts. As soon as I lied in the bed my phone began to vibrate. The name
Marcus appeared across my screen and I rolled my eyes before answering it. What
could he possibly want at 4:17 on a Saturday morning; besides I was just with
him.
“Hello,” I answered sounding completely unenthused.
“I thought you’d be happier to hear from me considering
our night,” he said sounding like a complete jerk.
Marcus is an attractive guy but he doesn’t
really understand the concept of respect. He lacks everything that a girl
really wants but he’s good enough for me at the moment. We’re not dating or in
an exclusive relationship and I like it that way. He’s just one of a few. He’s
not my first and he won’t be my last.
“Our night wasn’t that great,” I said dryly
into the phone.
“That’s not what you were saying while you
were--,” I cut him off before he could finish. I don’t know why I continue this
with him.
“What do you want? Why did you call me?” I
asked abruptly.
“I just wanted to hear your voice before
going to bed.”
“Well, you heard it. Goodnight,” I said ready
to hang up.
“Wait! So that’s it? This is what you do? You
give a guy a great night and then walk away?”
Honestly, it was all that I was used to since
I was fifteen. It’s only been a year but a lot can happen in a year.
“It’s not like you want anything more from
me,” I said in a ‘matter of fact’ tone.
“How do you know that?”
“Because boys never want anything more.”
I think the worst part is that I believed
this.
“Not all boys,” he informed me.
“Just all the ones that I’ve known…and you’re
one of them.”
The line was silent for a few seconds. I
wondered what he was thinking.
“Maybe I want more,” he said lowly.
I thought about it for a while and within a
few seconds I saw how miserable I could be in a relationship with him. On the
other hand, I thought maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. It was too late…or maybe too
early to think about such heavy concepts.
“I don’t know Marcus,” I said honestly.
As I turned over on my side, I winced when my
arm touched the cold sheets. I sat up a bit and touched my arm. Mason must have
bruised it when he grabbed me. My skin bruises easily and he held his grip for
a long time. I can’t believe I made him that angry. He never touched me like
that before. Mason always refused to lay a hand on me or even yell at me. He
was more of a talker…at least when it came to me. He always acted as if I was
this precious jewel that needs to be kept safe. When I was a kid he used to act
as if I was a rare porcelain doll that may break into a million pieces if I
fell or accidentally hurt myself. I smile at the thought of being young and
carefree. Back then, Mason was the highlight of my day and mommy and daddy was
happy in heaven. How was I more content with such a haunting thought when I was
much younger? I thought the older we get the better we handle our problems.
It was too much to think about for now and I
really just wanted to sleep. If my mind started to race, I would never be able
to close my eyes.
Today is world mental health day. Don't forget to show some affection to those who need it most!
